I used to work for a large corporation and one day I found myself in a meeting with a bunch of female vice presidents where I was the only man there. The presenter was unable to display on the big screen because she didn’t have a connector; I happened to have the right kind and loaned it to her.
She said “you’re pretty handy to have around.” My brain decided that a clever thing to say in response would be “well, I’m pretty well-endowed in the dongle department” and I started to say that before my brain thought better of it and cut me off. So what I actually said was “well, I’m pretty well-endowed”. One woman in the room actually guffawed but everybody else managed to ignore it - although I’m willing to bet this story was told later more than a few times.
I had a manager 10 years ago tell me we should start using these “API” things he had just read about. A conspicuously non-technical manager, obviously.
he immediately started cutting back on immigration
Except he didn’t, really. The fucking wall was a joke, not something that would ever actually stop illegal immigrants. If conservatives really wanted to stop illegal immigration, they would go after the employers who hire them - something we will never see.
there is literally no path where they accept the immigrant
I have a coworker who hates undocumented immigrants because (among other reasons) she thinks they’re all unvaccinated and thus spreaders of disease. She is also ANTIVAX!
I’m a school bus driver and one of the catholic schools I drop kids off at has a parking lot person that uses a handheld green stop sign to control kids and buses. It fucked me up the first time I saw it because I genuinely didn’t know whether she meant I should stop or go. It was green because it had “Go Birds” written on the back side - one more reason not to root for the Philadelphia Eagles.
I just bought a house from a guy who had been renting it out for thirty years and I’m now in the process of fixing all the shit he neglected during that time. I can’t believe that anyone was willing to rent this place for any amount of money, let alone the $1300/mo he had been getting for it. The kitchen ceiling was sagging down a foot in two places and held up literally only by the paint and caulk, thanks to mice - I got showered with mouse poop and urine-soaked ceiling tile material when I demo’ed it. The electrical outlets were all partially blocked by the baseboard radiators, which was probably a good thing because they were all ungrounded 1940s-era receptacles with the hot and neutral wires hooked up in reverse. One light switch caused the circuit breaker to trip as soon as I flipped it. Not a single door in the house could actually be closed (not even the front door) so I had to reset the hinges; one door looked like he had tried to fix the problem using a beaver with dental problems.
He sold the house as “rental ready” and I’m five months into the renovation now. I like to think the house appreciates my being here.