DharmaCurious

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

This is why i exclusively eat baker’s chocolate, and I chew my coffee grounds. I’m not trying to dilute my precious foodstuffs with disgusting things like water or sugar.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago (edited 3 months ago)

The size of a corgi? That’s nearly an 8th of a bald eagle. If it’s really the weight of a baby elephant, then that’s at least 200 pistols. That’s hella dense, but i wish they’d use standard measures. I hate having to translate that into American like this.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

… I want one so badly now

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

I’m generally very uncomfortable around bathroom humor/topics, but i gotta know. Are people really suffering down there from spicy foods? I love spicy food. Like, it took many, many visits before i convinced the indian restaurant near us to give me genuinely spicy food. Now they make it like they make it for themselves.

And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had the burning booty of death before, but the two things aren’t really linked. Like, spiciness has no impact on my bathrooming. I only ever get the burn down there if I’m sick. Is this seriously a problem people have when they so much as smell a bell pepper, as the internet has led me to believe?

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Please make me your spicy ass food, please.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

What about an Android alternative? I don’t use any, so can’t recommend, but I’m sure one of them will be a knockoff of a similar size.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Haha. Don’t tempt me. I’m painfully single.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Oh, you. Stop!

… But keep going, say more.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

I mean, i quite like tabs in my slots but if i need to wait, ill try.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Any chance you’re in Tennessee? Lol

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Good conversation is good!

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

So I’ve been accused of sabotaging relationships, and maybe this is that, but i feel justified.

I’d been dating a dude for about 3 months when we decided to go for a drive through this really scenic area near where we live. There’s a mill, and a pretty stream. About 30 minutes in, he finishes his gatorade, rolls down the passenger window, and hucks the bottle into the stream.

I made him get out and get it. Told him he could get the bottle or walk home. He got the bottle, and there were no more dates after that. I feel like I did the right thing.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

I haven’t seen your other threads, so not sure how beginner we’re talking. I’m not the most knowledgeable, but I’ll share the best things I’ve discovered. :)

A lot of tutorials will tell you not to tie knots in your thread on the back hold the thread in, but instead weave it into the thread on the back. This is true if you’re planning on making somethihg on a pillow or similar, but if you’re framing it and don’t care that the back is lumpy because no one will ever see it or feel it, just do you and make it secure.

They make cross stitch lattice thst dissolves in water, so you can cross stitch on tshirts, pillows, blankets, et cetera. It’s amazing, and a game changer for making nifty little things you’ll actually be able to wear or use daily. I love it so much.

Splitting your thread so its a lower ply is common, but if you leave it 6 stranded sometimes, you can add an extra layer of depth to what you make. For instance, i made a goomba (mario mushroom looking villain) for a friend. I made the outline of the goomba 6 stranded, with all the background stuff 3 stranded. It made it appear that the goomba was closer to the viewer, and really added a 3 dimensional effect that I loved. I’ve also used more strands to cross stitch curse words in a more handwritten font whenever i do something funny/inappropriate for the lols. Fancy script for most words in 3 strands, curse word in a scrawly looking vulgarish font with 6 strands.

Be mindful of hand pain. Carpal tunnel and damage is a real thing. Get a compression glove, take breaks. Our grandmas and mama’s have carpal tunnel for a reason, don’t follow in those footsteps. Take precautions.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

I rarely drink anymore, like maybe one drink every 6 months, except for wine, which ill have a glass of every couple weeks. But, i save all my bottles, because i fantasize about making things like this. Eventually, i, too, will have problemstic candles!

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

A spoiler warning would have been nice. I haven’t read it yet!

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

This is, I guess, the yank equivalent of the four Yorkshire men. Haha

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago (edited 10 months ago)

That’s precisely why I’m not there. I’m too fat for the gym. There are women and Children present. I’d scar them for life.

ETA:

To clarify: This is not what happens, this is my own self conscious, self loathing behavior giving me excuses for not bettering myself. I am aware of my mental health problems, I’m just not dealing with them.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Well, there’ll be a lot less billionaires pretty quickly, from there it’s gonna be a lot of references to star trek, doctor who, dead philosophers and general southernisms.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Is there somewhere to buy these? I’d love to send them to about 75 relatives.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Where does one acquire a device such as this? For uh, scientific research. For a friend. Yeah. That’s the ticket. A friend’s scientific research.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Is the joke that they got there too late…?

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

It is pronounced Captain BOUQUET!

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago (edited 1 year ago)

Placeholder comment because I need to go back to sleep. Someone remind me and I’ll tell y’all about rescuing my brother from a maybe kidnapping in Mexico.

Okay, so, me and my brother visited Mexico. It was a fairly small town, not a major place like Cancun. Had an amazing time. Ended up meeting these two bartenders that we became friends with. Their boss, who legit made everyone he met call him El Jefe, would come by and steal their tips and get drunk. We were there for a week. On the last night, I’m on the other side of the town (10 minute walk away) trying to seal the deal with this dude I’d met, and my brother was at the little bar hanging with our bartender friends. I get a call from him, panicked, as he whisper yells that El Jefe asked him to come with him to another bar he owns. He’s in the car, El Jefe is flying down the street, he’s doing cocaine off the dash. Please come get him at this other bar. He sends me one of those location pins that update in real time.

I tell dude that I’ll help him finish later, and take off to rescue my brother. He’s only like 5 minutes away, and has stopped moving. I go into the club, and start looking for him, but he’s not there. I’m asking folks if they’ve seen him, and trying to get closer to his pin. Finally, I find his phone, there’s some random ass dude who has it, and when I tell him I’m gonna need that phone, he tries to act like it’s his. I explain to him it’s my brother’s. He acts like he’s gonna swing at me, so I drop El Jefe’s name. That, combined with the fact that he’s 5’nothing and I’m 6’3 and near 300 pounds convinced him of the error of his ways. He gave me the phone, and I moved on in my search. I talked to the bartender, who explained that El Jefe had been there a few minutes ago, and had left some coke for me because my brother told him I was meeting them there (neither I nor my brother do coke). I asked could he tell me where they were headed. He gave me an address about a mile away. I took off.

I arrive at the house, by this point it is nearly 2 in the morning. It looks like just a house, but the lights are on so I knock on the door. I am greeted by a woman with the largest breasts I have ever seen in real life. They’re enormous. And she’s topless. Now, I don’t speak Spanish. I know enough to ask where the bathrooms are, and (I smokes at the time) where I could smoke at. Other than that, it was Google translate and gesturing for me.

However, I did not need Spanish to understand that this woman was a prostitute, and was very keen on the young American in front of her (or, at least his wallet). I tried to explain I’m trying to find my brother, but she wasn’t having it. Grabbing at my crotch, trying to pull me into one of the bedrooms off the (very nicely decorated for a brothel) living room. As my actions at this moment were less Liam Neeson and more Jerry Stiller, I decided to just come clean with her with one of the only Spanish words I knew “yo soy Mariposa!”

Now, I know that’s a slur, and I’m sorry if it upsets anyone. But at the time, it was the only thing I could think of. An hour before hand, the phrase had been… Relevant.

It was like a magic spell. Her entire attitude changed, and she was finally able to listen to my words. Once we cobbled together enough Spanglish to understand each other, I gave her the coke from the club as a thanks, and headed off to find my brother where she told me El Jefe had taken him next.

I arrive back at the night club I’d gotten the coke from, and I see El Jefe’s car this time. It’s parked in an alley behind the club, against an outdoor stair case. I go up the stairs and open the door to a private little fucking rave on the top floor of the club. They’ve got their own bar up here, and if I remember correctly, you can’t get from one floor to the other from within the club.

I see them at last! My brother looks mortified, trying to get to the entrance, and keeps getting pulled back by El jefe, and El jefe dancing with fucking scar face levels of coke on his face. It’s insane. I go up to them, and El jefe is all excited to see me, asks if I want some more coke, do I wanna party, he has a pretty boy all picked out for me if I want.

I tell him no thanks, we’ve gotta go. He gets pissy and says I’m being rude, stay and party. I tell him we’re leaving, and before I can react, he swings at me in all hiscoke fueled glory, completely missing me by a country mile. I stand up and tower over this man and explain we have a plane to catch in the morning. He finally let us go, and we head out.

Our plane the next day was delayed, so we ended up spending two more days there. In that time, El Jefe apologized for swinging at me, and gave us a tour of some of the apartments he rents.

We still keep in touch on Whatsapp, and he invites us to his enormous birthday party every year. He also says he’ll rent me an apartment there if I want to do private security for him. He talks to my brother more than me, though. He really liked him, and he calls me El Gigante. He really, really wants us both to come work for him. From what I gather, he basically runs the entire town we were in.

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

Maybe it’s because I just woke up, but I’m not sure I get it?

DharmaCurious, 1 year ago

I want to live in this neighborhood so badly. If anyone can get me into a rental in that neighborhood, I will fly the flag of Bajor!