phorq

@phorq@lemmy.ml

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phorq,

You forgot to take into account leap years or as I’ve come to call them the leaping gnu/years

phorq,

Thanks! You’re hot too, dawg!

phorq,

I doubt my math is correct, I always sucked at statistics, but if you were to convert my previous nonsense you wouldn’t multiply by 365 since you already have the yearly rate rather than the daily rate so it would be: (100) × (500 ÷ 333,287,557) × (100%) = 0.015%

phorq,

Chef Boyardeez arms tired from opening all those cans…

phorq,

It’s only dissociative if the identities aren’t getting along.

phorq,

Is it wrong for me to say that the pessimism with a side of alcohol is the most British you could possibly describe being merry?

phorq,

Does skydiving without a parachute count as a jumpscare? Because I feel like there’s not much to fear except death in that situation…

phorq, (edited )

touch cat
echo Oreo > cat
cat cat

Edit: for some reason mine’s saying Hydrox… results may vary.

phorq,

According to the questionable celebrity health statistics website I found… Danny DeVito is 70kg, which is 11 stone… So it’s more like the chef lost almost 1.9 Danny DeVitos. We Americans may have weird measuring systems, but we take them seriously!

phorq,

Is it just me, or does it look like a symbolic heart shape but with valves coming off of it?..

phorq,

= I 1337 you +3000

phorq,

I was wondering what happened to the drone delivery Amazon promised… It all makes sense now…

phorq,

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start digging holes…

phorq,

I’m uncomfortable swallowing such a large iron supplement…

phorq,

Who’s it whispering to if not me? And is it talking about me?

phorq,

Yeah, honestly sounds like something you’d try when you have no shame. Not that I’m judging, just there’s a certain low you have to sink to to be the first one to try that…

phorq,

Braille toilet paper is a real missed opportunity…

phorq,

I prefer saying it’s 9:270°

phorq,

Simple, trust no one. Get a no-reported-logs VPN, don’t download anything that has a strange file size or extension, look at comments, look at the number of seeders if it’s a torrent. If you can, join something like a private tracker where there’s moderation too. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it’s probably not the movie you were looking for and there might be a Trojan army inside waiting for you to let the duck enter your computer… That metaphor may have fallen apart on me…

phorq,

Shrek Punch: onion juice followed by a taste of ass and waffles

phorq,

That’s why all the rich people say they’re makin cheddar

phorq,

Inserting and removing junk and watching it to see its reaction to my touches…

phorq,

For the hungry hoopy frood on the go!

phorq,

More like Cosmic-sans…

phorq, (edited )

42: Always know where your towel is.

43: Star Trek memes or you’re the next away mission’s red shirt.

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