phorq

@phorq@lemmy.ml

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phorq,

Yeah, honestly sounds like something you’d try when you have no shame. Not that I’m judging, just there’s a certain low you have to sink to to be the first one to try that…

phorq,

Inserting and removing junk and watching it to see its reaction to my touches…

phorq,

According to the questionable celebrity health statistics website I found… Danny DeVito is 70kg, which is 11 stone… So it’s more like the chef lost almost 1.9 Danny DeVitos. We Americans may have weird measuring systems, but we take them seriously!

phorq, (edited )

touch cat
echo Oreo > cat
cat cat

Edit: for some reason mine’s saying Hydrox… results may vary.

phorq,

I was wondering what happened to the drone delivery Amazon promised… It all makes sense now…

phorq,

Is it wrong for me to say that the pessimism with a side of alcohol is the most British you could possibly describe being merry?

phorq,

Oof, fell for the oldest scam in the book. The real money’s in issuing loans, not bank telling.

phorq,

Chef Boyardeez arms tired from opening all those cans…

phorq,

For the hungry hoopy frood on the go!

phorq,

Who’s it whispering to if not me? And is it talking about me?

phorq,

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start digging holes…

phorq, (edited )

So if I’m 28, I’d be 32 in 4-years? So every one human-year is 1.14 4-years. Now I need to figure out the conversion of 4-years to dog-years… Currently seeking funding for my research if anyone’s interested!

phorq,

I prefer saying it’s 9:270°

phorq,

It’s only dissociative if the identities aren’t getting along.

phorq,

Is it just me, or does it look like a symbolic heart shape but with valves coming off of it?..

phorq,

I’m the weird one who puts my phone on loud when I sleep. If anyone is actually calling me and not being marked as spam, it is probably a work or family emergency. Otherwise I just expect a message.

phorq,

You forgot to take into account leap years or as I’ve come to call them the leaping gnu/years

phorq,

Shrek Punch: onion juice followed by a taste of ass and waffles

phorq,

I’m uncomfortable swallowing such a large iron supplement…

phorq,

Braille toilet paper is a real missed opportunity…

phorq,

Okay, I want that dance on my desk by Monday

phorq,

That’s why all the rich people say they’re makin cheddar

phorq,

Does skydiving without a parachute count as a jumpscare? Because I feel like there’s not much to fear except death in that situation…

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