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phorq, to memes in Become unreachable

I’m the weird one who puts my phone on loud when I sleep. If anyone is actually calling me and not being marked as spam, it is probably a work or family emergency. Otherwise I just expect a message.

phorq, to memes in Playing an unsupported file

The file extension is exe, am I doing something wrong?

phorq, to asklemmy in What made up movie title would make it hard to sell it to the public?

Chupa… can you imagine that being a kids movie?

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in How I cannot be worry??

Do you have a problem? If yes, then it should consume your thoughts so you don’t have any ability to think of a solution… If no, then you must’ve forgotten something…

phorq, to memes in You can't beat him at this.

Missed opportunity to make that a gif that moves slightly…

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in Meat stuffed inside an animal intestine

Thanks! You’re hot too, dawg!

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in Just speak normally

I prefer saying it’s 9:270°

phorq, to memes in Sleep tight

I doubt my math is correct, I always sucked at statistics, but if you were to convert my previous nonsense you wouldn’t multiply by 365 since you already have the yearly rate rather than the daily rate so it would be: (100) × (500 ÷ 333,287,557) × (100%) = 0.015%

phorq, to linux in Happy 1704067200 seconds since 1970

You forgot to take into account leap years or as I’ve come to call them the leaping gnu/years

phorq, to comicstrips in "Sudden Death" by MrLovenstein

Does skydiving without a parachute count as a jumpscare? Because I feel like there’s not much to fear except death in that situation…

phorq, to memes in They shipped him in from Italy

Chef Boyardeez arms tired from opening all those cans…

phorq, to lemmybewholesome in Self-love

It’s only dissociative if the identities aren’t getting along.

phorq, to asklemmy in Why does America say 'merry christmas'?

Is it wrong for me to say that the pessimism with a side of alcohol is the most British you could possibly describe being merry?

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in Truly inspirational

According to the questionable celebrity health statistics website I found… Danny DeVito is 70kg, which is 11 stone… So it’s more like the chef lost almost 1.9 Danny DeVitos. We Americans may have weird measuring systems, but we take them seriously!

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in And I will die on this hill.

I was wondering what happened to the drone delivery Amazon promised… It all makes sense now…

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