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phorq, to lemmyshitpost in This is the companion to the books "It's not my fault" and "My brother did it"

If everyone sucks at driving, odds are that you do too (I’m not excluding myself from this). Most people just don’t realize it. But yes some people are more stupid than others…

phorq, to memes in You can't beat him at this.

Missed opportunity to make that a gif that moves slightly…

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in Meat stuffed inside an animal intestine

Thanks! You’re hot too, dawg!

phorq, to memes in Sleep tight

I doubt my math is correct, I always sucked at statistics, but if you were to convert my previous nonsense you wouldn’t multiply by 365 since you already have the yearly rate rather than the daily rate so it would be: (100) × (500 ÷ 333,287,557) × (100%) = 0.015%

phorq, (edited ) to memes in Sleep tight

Well sure, but if you think about the fact that there are 8.1 billion people in the world and then consider that if you’re really lucky you might live to 100… That’s (365 × 100) × (60k ÷ 8.1b) × (100%)… You only have a 27% chance of dying this way… Honestly didn’t expect it to be that high.

phorq, to linux in Happy 1704067200 seconds since 1970

You forgot to take into account leap years or as I’ve come to call them the leaping gnu/years

phorq, to comicstrips in "Sudden Death" by MrLovenstein

Does skydiving without a parachute count as a jumpscare? Because I feel like there’s not much to fear except death in that situation…

phorq, to memes in They shipped him in from Italy

Chef Boyardeez arms tired from opening all those cans…

phorq, to lemmybewholesome in Self-love

It’s only dissociative if the identities aren’t getting along.

phorq, to asklemmy in Why does America say 'merry christmas'?

Is it wrong for me to say that the pessimism with a side of alcohol is the most British you could possibly describe being merry?

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in Truly inspirational

According to the questionable celebrity health statistics website I found… Danny DeVito is 70kg, which is 11 stone… So it’s more like the chef lost almost 1.9 Danny DeVitos. We Americans may have weird measuring systems, but we take them seriously!

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in And I will die on this hill.

I was wondering what happened to the drone delivery Amazon promised… It all makes sense now…

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in I’ll be waiting in the car

Why do I suddenly feel the need to start digging holes…

phorq, to thefarside in 22 December 2023

= I 1337 you +3000

phorq, to lemmyshitpost in That’s breakfast, what’s lunch?

I’m uncomfortable swallowing such a large iron supplement…

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