saltnotsugar

@saltnotsugar@lemm.ee

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saltnotsugar,

Due to Newtons 46th law of awesomeness, Ninjas are still cooler than spikes, but still are pretty dang cool.

saltnotsugar,

“Four score and seven years ago…what’s happing to me!?”

saltnotsugar,

Let me fix this small issue right quick…oh…oh dear.

saltnotsugar,

Grow fast, chomp hard.

saltnotsugar,

Any time the power goes out some person needs to say “Wooooah” with mild alarm.

saltnotsugar,

Space Bucees! Much like regular Bucees but floating around in space!

saltnotsugar,

WAT.

saltnotsugar,

If Star Wars took place in the 1920’s and had a lot more paperwork.

saltnotsugar,

WAT.

saltnotsugar,

Now you will witness the firepower of a fully armed and operational…Borg…cube thingy!

saltnotsugar,

How was that fast lane working for ya? Ya dingus!

saltnotsugar,

This is the cookie. This is the cookie…changing. Do you see?

saltnotsugar,

This is why I always start my novels with a literal explosion and action music.

saltnotsugar,

Captains log, star date….uhhhh let me grab the calendar…ok that’s the old one…uhhh…7?

(The uncensored files)

saltnotsugar,

Stormtrooper: It’s not that I’m lazy, I just don’t care.

saltnotsugar,

“Oh wow, are you gonna show me the world?”

Best I can do is a wild night in Glasgow.

saltnotsugar,

#1: Raise the banner of the Vanilla Ice Cream League!

saltnotsugar,

“Does anyone in your crew ever yell Khan really loud?”
No. Nah man. Shit no man. I believe you get your ass kicked for yellin something like that.

saltnotsugar,

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing the songs of angry shitposts!

saltnotsugar,

How to electrify up the bedroom with lightning fingers (safe search OFF)

saltnotsugar,

Mom, all the girls like me and it’s distracting. Can you fuck my shit up?

saltnotsugar,

Ah, but this one goes BEEP.

saltnotsugar,

If it smells like poop everywhere you go, check under your own shoe.

saltnotsugar,

Not gonna lie. I’d watch a Star Trek romantic comedy called Klingon To You.

saltnotsugar,

Your chances of being shanked by a raccoon are unlikely…but never zero.

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