saltnotsugar

@saltnotsugar@lemm.ee

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saltnotsugar,

The problem is they they’re just designed to eat and get chonky. If they had invested in cool ninja combat during evolution, scientists believe they would be not only more likely to survive, but be a lot cooler.

saltnotsugar,

Due to Newtons 46th law of awesomeness, Ninjas are still cooler than spikes, but still are pretty dang cool.

saltnotsugar,

Rizzo’s discount burial shredding! You dead ‘em, we shred ‘em.

saltnotsugar,

Batussy

saltnotsugar,

“Hey router, I’d like to talk to-“

(Throws packet to the ground) YOU WILL TALK ONLY IF I WILL IT.

saltnotsugar,

“Four score and seven years ago…what’s happing to me!?”

saltnotsugar,

For some reason I always read hemoglobin as hemo-goblin. I watched Lord of the Rings too much.

saltnotsugar,

Let me fix this small issue right quick…oh…oh dear.

saltnotsugar,

Grow fast, chomp hard.

saltnotsugar,

Those slaps were rather gentle, with a spirit of “Get out of here you silly goose!”

saltnotsugar,

Is also explains the great speed…scientifically.

saltnotsugar,

A candy bar that taste so amazing that it haunts your dreams, but you can never find it in a store ever again.

saltnotsugar,

There was no rail accident comrade, or dare you suggest otherwise?

saltnotsugar,

Scissor me timbers!

saltnotsugar,

Any time the power goes out some person needs to say “Wooooah” with mild alarm.

saltnotsugar,

Space Bucees! Much like regular Bucees but floating around in space!

saltnotsugar,

DS9 does need more beef jerky scenes.

saltnotsugar,

In prison.

Butthole destroyed.

Make check on coin.

Massive loss in value.

No.

saltnotsugar,

This guy is all set to rock out with his cock out.

saltnotsugar,

WAT.

saltnotsugar,

(Verse 1) Oh, the tale of a cat girl bold, With fur as black as the night’s cold. Sailed the seas in search of glee, But scurvy struck her, a cruel decree.

(Chorus) Meow me hearties, sing it loud, A cat girl’s plight on the ocean shroud. With a feline grace and scurvy’s sting, She danced on decks, a sailor’s fling.

(Verse 2) Her whiskers twitched, under the pirate moon, A sailor’s life, a rollicking tune. Scurvy’s grip, a relentless foe, Yet she purred defiance, letting it go.

(Chorus) Meow me hearties, sing with glee, For a cat girl’s spirit, wild and free. Through storms and scurvy, she sailed the sea, A feline mariner, forever to be.

(Bridge) In the salty breeze, her tail unfurls, Singing shanties with the ocean’s pearls. Cat eyes gleaming in the moonlit night, A scurvy-stricken kitty, yet a brave delight.

(Verse 3) Climbed the rigging with a nimble leap, Defying scurvy, in the vast deep. With a purr that echoed through the mast, She vowed to sail, while scurvy’s cast.

(Chorus) Meow me hearties, a cat girl’s tale, Through scurvy storms, she set sail. A sea shanty for the brave and free, The cat girl’s spirit, on the endless sea.

saltnotsugar,

More eyelashes. More. Okay, I think you’re hearing, “Give me a lot of lashes.” What I mean is GIMMY ALL THE EYELASHES BABY!

saltnotsugar,

When I die fire me out of a freakin cannon into the sun.

saltnotsugar,

Møø

saltnotsugar,

This error is brought to you by MEGA BURGER!

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