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samus12345

@samus12345@lemmy.world

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"Jogging From the Perspective of Animals" by Jake Likes Onions (files.mastodon.social)

alt textFirst panel: [blank white space with black text] Jogging from the perspective of animals Second panel: Wolf by a tree looking at a man jogging. “What are you running from, apex predator” Third panel: Wolf: “Are you chasing prey?” “You need to conserve energy” Last panel: [second wolf peeking in] “The hell...

samus12345,
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We’ve become so successful at getting food, we don’t have to move much to do it any more. So we have to go out of our way to be active to stay healthy since evolution takes so long to catch up.

samus12345,
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[whining] “But I wanted some power converters!”

samus12345,
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Clearly, the only reasonable position is not not value both human and artificial life!

samus12345,
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Big plot point for Across the Spider-verse.

"Margaret" by Jim Benton (files.mastodon.social)

alt textCartoon of the Grim Reaper/Death at the door of a smiling, plump woman giving out Halloween candy. Death says: “I’m not wearing a costume. I’m here to take your sou—” The sentence breaks off when he sees what the woman gave him, then he exclaims: “Holy Shit full size Snickers” He concludes: “Nevermind...

samus12345, (edited )
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And then for the suicidal people, he’d threaten to NOT take them if they don’t buy him some Snickers.

samus12345,
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Yeah, but this time it’s on Lemmy!

samus12345,
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No idea why she keeps getting scheduled to die on Halloween, though.

samus12345,
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He could just threaten everyone he comes for to buy him some full-sized Snickers or he’ll take their soul. Most would consider that a fair trade.

samus12345,
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Gotta agree with the critics on that one.

samus12345,
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‘No Way to Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

samus12345,
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‘No Way to Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

Note bolded text. No shit this happens in other countries - the death stats for them aren’t 0. But it’s a rare anomaly there rather than just another Tuesday like here.

samus12345,
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That’s not a political cartoon.

samus12345,
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The thing he didn’t foresee was the ability to turn the phone on silent mode.

We can put it on silent, but that doesn’t mean everybody does when they should!

samus12345,
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🎵I’m blue, if I were green I would die, if I were green I would die…🎵

samus12345,
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Unfortunately, obsessing over things often doesn’t have to do with pleasure.

samus12345,
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The guru specified that the weird thing gives you pleasure. It is pleasurable to obsess over your failures?

samus12345,
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American plumbing sucks. I never once clogged a toilet in my 10 years living in Germany - those things would suck down ANYTHING. Here they sometimes just decide to back up for no visible reason.

But like the other poster said, they rarely overflow - you just have a gross bowl of water to deal with trying to plunge it down.

samus12345,
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“Whatever, dude, you’re the one that has to wear me.”

samus12345,
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“They can feel stuff and GO HEAVY ON THE PAIN.”

samus12345,
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“When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

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