shalafi

@shalafi@lemmy.world

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shalafi,

My first wife didn’t make her son eat anything he didn’t want, but he had to try it, once. Worked out.

It was sometime around then that I learned, and realized, that kids have different taste buds. They make Oscar Meyer wieners bland on purpose.

My kids? Scrawny little fucks won’t eat anything. At all. I don’t know how they function. It’s like hugging tiny skeletons. But, that was me as a little kid. All the adults frustrated as hell with me.

shalafi,

breed wendigos

Got a couple of acres in the swamp, I could do this. Deadfalls everywhere, just gotta find one in front of sour ground.

“Sometimes dead is bettah.”

shalafi,

We just played the anti-immigrant game in Florida. Harsh legislation passed, they ran away, and fuck me, crops are rotting in the fields.

There were a couple of business owners brave enough to say it out loud on video. “Well, yeah, we wanted this legislation, but just to kinda scare 'em. We didn’t think we’d actually lose our workers! Maybe we gotta rethink this whole thing.”

Props to those few self-aware SeaWolves. Some are getting it.

If you want slave labor, you gotta put up with slaves living on the plantation.

shalafi,

I’d kill for a fast track to New Orleans, Atlanta, Little Rock, Tulsa, Nashville, all that. Ply me with cheap beer, let me chill and ride. What a dream.

shalafi, (edited )

Didn’t know we had beavers down here in Florida, so the first time I saw a dam I assumed it was manmade. Figured a buncha rednecks chunked cut tree waste to make a pond.

The pond is beautiful. All kinds of flora and fauna flourishing in there. Carnivorous pitcher plants, amphibians, fish popping off at sundown, all that. Where it drains, it makes a clear creek that is stunning to behold. Again, all kinds of life in there.

Had some great pics but it looks like my ex-gf deleted our shared album. :(

shalafi,

bbc.com/…/20240111-the-us-is-bringing-back-beaver…

shalafi,

Fuckin’ A! My god, I’m about to be 53 and that was me most of my life. 6-months of hard work would put be back in that zone.

Kids: Y’all are fat. And yes, it’s your fault. Yes, you have control over this situation. No, you are not powerless. No, that’s not fat shaming.

shalafi,

Just commented, nah, women do not like the kilt look, not any I’ve dated. I’m not so hot on them myself. One of those things that sounds like a good idea, doesn’t really work out. OTOH, very nice with leggings and combat boots. Warm!

Guys, if you want to try one, get a knock-off Utilikilt. Loads of pockets, manly looking (I think) without the formal pleated look. I never have a chance to wear the pleated one. :(

shalafi,

If you’re offended by a cigarette butt on the ground, holy fuck, you should have been around in the 70s. We have come so far and so fast.

When I was a kid, chunking your fast-food trash, any trash, out the window was perfectly normal. The sides of highways were covered in trash.

Further to go, of course, but I’ve seen solid progress.

shalafi,

Fucking. Genius.

Welp. We’re friends now. What are you doing tonight?

shalafi,

West Country accent!

shalafi,

Friend of a friend had a sailboat named “Sail Hatin’”. Much love.

shalafi,

Because it’s not “real” work. You gotta get paid up front and put a limit on changes. You’re either good, or you’re not. Let the market sort it out, but don’t work for free.

shalafi,

I carry plastic retail bags when hiking and kayaking.

If you flatten them out, fold them over a few times, roll them tight and wrap with a rubber band, you get a really tiny, portable bag.

shalafi,

You ARE lucky! And probably a solid performer. But young people need this info. You have to ask for the money. Why would anyone give you money for showing up to work?

shalafi,

As a hot pepper fanatic, I love this trivia:

Birds don’t have receptors for capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers hot. They could chow a bag of Moruga Scorpions with zero effect.

Evolution’s idea being, birds will swallow the seeds whole, poop them all around. Mammals will chew them up and destroy the seeds, so they evolved a defense specifically against us.

shalafi,

Almost always a ticket, assuming that’s the only law you’re breaking. And they will certainly look for more!

Funny story, I was arrested in Chicagoland one time for not having a license. (Lost my wallet, still had to work.) Officer had a high school kid (cop wannabe) for a ride-along and wanted to demonstrate arrest and booking procedures.

In and out in 45 minutes but got stuck 30 miles from home.

shalafi,

You got my gears turning. LOL, for good or for evil.

What if we had a paid service that worked like torrenting? DEEP discount, but you opt to share upload costs? (Best for last, bear with me.)

Company like Spotify coordinates it all, takes their skim off the top for running the servers, devs, payroll, workman’s comp, unemployment insurance, managers, janitors, tech support, typical business stuff. Might not be $BIG% profitable, but 0.001% is hella money in this game.

We could even have upload tiers. How much you want to upload back? More = cheaper. Unlimited download no matter the tier, but you gotta “pay back” the system to for low rates. Wanna mooch? No problem! Top tier pricing for you! Go over? No problem! We got a grace period. Hell, we’ll let your MB’s roll over if you don’t use 'em! Keep pushing your down vs. up, and sorry, we gotta tack a bit on next month. Would you like to go up a tier and maybe save?

And we only try to sell that offer to people our algorithm shows it will truly help. Had a vendor do that to me last week! “Don’t take the standard offer. You’re already doing $X, so $Y costs nothing more in your case.” Wish I could remember the deal, but it was great to have a rep shoot me straight!

We’d almost have to start with an existing company. They got the infrastructure, contracts, and such, but they also got stubborn inertia. Some billionaire needs to get me onboard with this!

Any yes y’all, I understand the DevOps, Dev, infrastructure, payroll, management, etc., spend would be astronomical from scratch. Hell, ever considered the company needs a UI expert for $150/yr. at a minimum? Double that with taxes and benefits. And throw in the AWS bill. shudder

It would be a massive clusterfuck to get going. But what if we could get “Spotify” for $1-$10/mo. depending on your contribution?

Best: What if it was a federated/socialist sort of thing? I like country and rap (seriously), so I opt into servers that mainly have that content. Saves me and my fellow fans upload, because we’re uploading to each other and not costing the service anything but a few pennies to the artist!

I know this has 12 holes in it, but am I straight nuts?

shalafi,

I want my childhood rules from the 70s back in play.

Christmas decorations go up the day after Thanksgiving, go down on New Year’s Day.

Christmas ain’t special if you got 3 months of it. 3 months is a season, not a holiday.

shalafi, (edited )

Anyone who speaks against Israel in this “fight”: Cancelled. And it’s gotten so you don’t even need to say the magic word: “antisemite”.

God forgive me, but maybe the “Jews rule the world” nuts weren’t so wrong after all.

Banking, Hollywood, Ivy League schools, major journalists and news outlets, my own President, all of them pro-Israel no matter what.

Show me I’m wrong, stop me, take my beer away, come over to my house and punch me in the face, but get me off this conspiracy train. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen the fruitcakes come so close to truth.

shalafi,

Yep, Game of Thrones. People get hung up on the hellishly stupid last season, but we spent the better part of a decade talking about it around the water cooler. The world was sucked into it.

shalafi,

Been there, done that, it sucked.

It was great at first! But after 6-months I was depressed. Guess I’m the sort that requires the structure a regular job provides. Kinda been the same for WFH. :(

shalafi,

I stand on my left foot when I’m holding still. Had a coworker ask me, “I don’t mean to be weird, but why do you stand like a girl?”

Had no idea what he meant, so he demonstrated. Yeah, I do the tippy-toe thing. (Girls do it to make their thighs look slimmer, same as they sit in chairs.)

Broke my femur in 4 places back in 2000. Still don’t want weight on that leg, hellish pain does that to you. I’m quite physically active, but standing still? Yeah, en pointe, like a ballerina.

shalafi,

Mine rocks out with his cock out. I get a little annoyed with him constantly pressing us to find better ways of working, when we’re already the #1 team.

But still, the man really knows his shit and has turned a lot of things around for the company. He’s a good person to approach when you’re having a problem, of just about any sort.

OTOH, before we had him, we were floundering around trying to play agile and not actually accomplishing anything.

shalafi,

Like a sane person. Why do you ask?

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