There were so many shitty albums I bought for $16 in the early 90s (even worse, that's like $30 now) and had the exact experience in the meme. Things like we loved the first Suicidal Tendencies album, bought the second and were 'wtf is this?' The only way we had to pick out death metal was based on the cover art and record label... put it in the CD player, okay, good guitar sound... just have to wait until the guy sings.... that pretty much decided it.
You know, not to ruin the joke, but it might have worked out better if the Tecate did kill him back then. He's currently in prison for 45 years for stabbing his wife to death.
Ketchup would be one of my last choices anyway. Maybe with certain mains like fried chicken or chicken fried steak (ok, some people say that's weird but it's what we did at Furr's Cafeteria).
Right now, probably Marie Sharp's Beware Habanero sauce. Second choice, chimichurri.
We had some interesting times on the one expedition I did. It was fascinating and I would recommend trying it at least once... doesn't have to be dangerous. Even going to Carlsbad Caverns, which is a National Park and while not the real spelunking experience, pretty cool. I went to Wolf River Cave in Tennessee. Most of it was just like mountain hiking, but with a ceiling. Questionable parts included crawling in light mud on our hands and knees for 600 feet through an area where the ceiling was about 3 feet high. Also one part, you go through a 'door' and have to drop down ~5 feet onto some rocks... people told me "be sure to go left when you land!!" and wtf was to the right? This giant dark pit of rocks at least 20 feet deep. Okay... then at the very bottom, there was this area with a bunch of trickling water and awesome stalagmites where you could sit on rocks by this weird little stream and ponds. We split up and sat in different rooms... the guy from Kentucky I sat with, who I'd never met before, told me "sometimes when I'm down here... i listen to the water... and it sounds like people talking..." Uh, okay.
But anyway it was an amazing experience and profoundly strange... the 'rooms' and 'hallways' are oddly reminiscent of human construction. And if you get stuck or hurt, if you've done things properly and signed in and people know you're there, experienced cavers will come and rescue you.
That's the point though, that some people will use the 'but chicken sandwich is good' as a justification to overlook the other problems and still buy them. My ex and Hobby Lobby, for instance - she'd want to go there and shop for paints because they 'might have a sale', and I was just uh, no? Fuck Hobby Lobby.
In the pre-Internet early 90s, CDs were $15-25 (with inflation, about $40 now)…. And for a lot of music, you had no way of hearing it first. Shoplifting was popular.
My parents had a can of tecate in their fridge dating to a 4th of July party we had in 1985... until finally around 2004, my brother's friend drank it. He didn't really have much of a comment on the quality.
I saw this 70 year old guy waiting at the hospital today, with his 70 year old wife in a wheelchair, produce wearing by his brand new TRUMP hat (along with a chain wallet, like he was 20 and it was 1996). My thought was: why the fuck does this loser have to fuck up society before he dies of old age?