lemm.ee

lightnsfw, to lemmyshitpost in How much for cuddles?

How many stickers do I get for painting the ceiling?

Traegert, to comicstrips in "Bigger Than Better" by Mr.Lovenstein

We’re losing customers love

You could offer better service dates and lower prices infidelity

Haha no, I’m just gonna merge have children

Gnelfo,

Are you ok?

Traegert, (edited )

No. Do I come off as okay?

TimewornTraveler, to lemmyshitpost in How much for cuddles?

Holy fucking shit his face…

This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.

LemmyKnowsBest,

He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.

Anticorp, to comicstrips in "Kite Flying" by Twonks Comic

Do you think Benjamin Franklin was a virgin? No. Benjamin Franklin fucked, and flew kites.

Zozano, (edited ) to lemmyshitpost in How much for cuddles?

Step 1: drink water

Step 2: piss

Step 3: put seat down

Step 4: repeat 5 more times

Step 5: wait till I’m nagged

Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat

Step 7: continue ignoring child’s needs

Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is

AgentGrimstone, to memes in Spices too

When I first started to cook for myself, I ignored using onions and garlic because I didn’t think they would make that big a difference 🤡

LemmyKnowsBest,

I always thought onions and garlic made breath bad so I don’t put them on anything and I don’t give them to anyone.

Fades, to lemmyshitpost in How much for cuddles?

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

Smoogs,

Why is she also the therapist? He’s a grown adult and could take some initiative.

fckreddit, (edited ) to comicstrips in "Kite Flying" by Twonks Comic

Staying a virgin is easy. Just develop a shitty personality or maybe even a personality disorder like I did and viola, you are now a forever virgin.

However, living as a virgin is much more difficult. Between self-loathing and depression, you could turn suicidal. Again like I did.

TheRealLinga,

Sorry to hear man, I hope you have found some way to move on and enjoy life

fckreddit,

At this point, the best I can do is hope. I am lost. Thanks though.

Napain, to lemmyshitpost in How much for cuddles?

are the straights ok?

duckythescientist,

No we aren’t 😞

TseseJuer,

do gays not give bjs after a certain amount of gold stars?

Agent641, (edited )

How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Yes.

afraid_of_zombies,

Yes this is outrage bate.

MaoZedongers,

hahaha

no

simin, to memes in Spices too

health benefits too

angrystego, to memes in Spices too

Why 3 onions though? Why no chives?

Tristaniopsis, to memes in Spices too

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY ALLIUM.

Tristaniopsis, to memes in Spices too

There used to be an garlic restaurant near my old house and basically EVERYTHING was garlic based. It was heaven.

Guess what. They had garlic ice cream and it was DELICIOUS. Nothing like I thought it would be. It was light and sort of fruity and sweet.

Goddamit I miss that place.

Dabundis,

I’d guess the garlic was deeply roasted until brown and sweet for the ice cream?

Tristaniopsis,

You are probably correct. Slowly… veeeeerrrry slowly.

Mananasi, to memes in Spices too

I am very sad I can’t eat these anymore due to IBS

Stegotron,

I was this way for years. I eventually recovered a lot and slowly weened back onto them. Good luck and take care.

Mananasi,

Thank you for the kind words! I didn’t know I could maybe have these again at some point in the future. Did you just try them every now and again to see how you reacted? Do you still need to watch out?

Defectus,

Same for me when i had ibd (still do but in remission). But after bettering my gut microbiome I could eat everything again.

Raxiel, to memes in Spices too

Their foil is pretty good at keeping stuff fresh too (as well as making good anti-mind-control hats)

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