As a lazy person who grew up with a parent who’s method of cooking vegetables was just “boil it till its grey!”, if a vegetable can be eaten raw, I will be eating it raw.
Raw broccoli dipped in garlic greek yoghurt is delicious, nutritious and fast/lazy to prepare.
I’m on the hunt for a vegan alternative that is decent, but until then, crunchy carrots and sugar snap peas are my go-to lazy veggies.
Maybe it’s because I’m on prescription probiotics and digestive enzymes, but I haven’t noticed a drastic change in my farts from the broccoli. They used to absolutely reek before I went low-dairy and started being a little more mindful of FODMAPS.
Now pea protein powder? that amplifies my flatulence to war crime levels.
I still don’t understand why the cooking skill of my parents sucked this bad. I started cooking on my own when I moved out and even after just a bit of practise and good recipes you can cook tasty meals. How do you go on 50 years failing this, I don’t understand. If I see another bowl of dry rice, canned peas and ready marinated chicken from some discounter I’m going to throw up.
It’s funny that you offer correction. UK English makes this distinction, US English doesn’t and uses practice for both. Internationally where many English speakers mix neither usage can really be said to be incorrect. Pedantry fail.
Eh, I’m not that invested as to feel I’ve failed. To fail you need to try. I just like fighting fire with fire when I see people correcting other’s spelling online.
At the end of the day, as long as you’re communicating your message effectively whatever you’ve written has done it’s job. I’m dyslexic, people offering unnecessary spelling advice irks me, so if they make a “mistake” (at least, as far as prescriptive English goes) I’m going to annoy them the same way their comments annoys everyone else. If they’re not annoyed by it, well who cares, nothing gained nothing lost.
Boomers came up as fast food franchises and convenience foods began to dominate. The equal rights movement meant more women in the workplace and less in the kitchen and instead of spreading the burden, capitalism filled in the gaps.
Because they did cook well at one point. It took hours, it involved a lot of cleanup, and 4 year old you whined and complained for some chicken nuggets and the fucking candy bar your aunt gave you without talking to your parents first.
So they gave up. The tantrums, the rejection, the effort. None of it was worth it. Like pretty much every skill in life it atrophied.
I loved to cook and I’m good at it. My 5-year-old won’t eat a burger I made and asks instead to go to the “burger store”. I don’t want to cook much anymore.
Know the feeling. Feel so defeated. Fighting this losing battle against all the crap junk food people want to give my kids on top of the normal tendency of children to only enjoy bland food.
Another explanation is that American cuisine got wrecked by the Great Depression. Everything that had flavor was expensive. People’s inability to purchase and make certain foods stopped generational transfer of knowledge on how to make certain things. Thankfully, after several generations it’s finally recovering.
“Ethnic” food (non European) wasn’t as affected as much.
I heard an interview about a book on it a few years ago but now I can’t find it.
Steam broccoli and cauliflower together in a microwave or steamer of your choice with butter and whatever seasonings you like. Toss in a wok with ripping hot olive oil until golden brown on the edges. Make sure to be rough with the broccoli and cauliflower, you want it to be crushed a bit. Shit slaps and it so easy. Idk if it’s healthy anymore after all the butter and oil but whatever. you can adjust the butter levels as needed but make sure there’s enough oil in the wok
Butter isn’t bad for you per-se, it’s the quantity that gets you. It’s a pretty calorie dense food, and it has a lot of other things in it that, when taken in large quantities will clog up your cardiovascular system.
Used in proper moderation and it’s wonderful. Throwing a whole stick of it into a single serving at every meal is probably too much.
Disclaimer: I am neither a health professional, nor a nutritionist.
Unnecessary racist comment but it’s OK since its against the one group that its OK to be racist towards. This wouldn’t fly if it was about black people and a similar gotcha line
Well the scottish side have been here in southern California for about 150 years, the Irish for about 110 years, and the German for about 100 years. Also I can be under high UV and only start burning after about 2 hours.
We conquered that weakness, now if only we could get rid of the madness, actually nevermind on that one being able to go into a berserk fury by will alone is fucking useful. Good for cussing out shitty bosses and feeling high as a kite while at it, just gotta keep from trying to kill them.
As a Fitzpatrick skin type 1 living in Australia, zinc is my best friend.
I’m pale enough that you can’t even tell I’ve got white paste on my face, and I’m physically blocking the sun.
I have a 50 SPF moisturiser that I use daily before I leave the house, even in winter, and I reapply it several times a day in summer, but I still get sun burnt if I don’t also wear zinc.
Now that I’m older I’ve gotten a lot better at often wearing a wide brim hat and long sleeves in the summer, but it’s not always possible.
Zinc is also reef safe for beach wear, and doesn’t contain avobenzone so it will provide longer protection from UVA rays, and no risk of irritation if applied prior to swimming in a chlorinated pool. (avobenzone and chlorine are not friends)
I’ll be sure to pass this on to all my vampi… I mean, wow, that is a very fascinating thing to read, I’ll surely take what you said into consideration the next time I’m shopping for sunscreen.
Because who buys spices at the regular grocery store, it’s like $4 for a 50g bag. You gotta go to the Asain grocer or Indian market for those delicious half kilo bags for $6.
Then put them in an old pasta sauce jar and shove them in your pantry and let them get old and off gas their aroma until they’re just bland sawdust…but act like you’re still better than other white people because you own spices.
A four-panel Mr. Lovenstein comic titled “THIS COMIC MADE POSSIBLE THANKS TO EELS OF WOOD”
The first panel shows an angry pink humanoid standing on a green circle, holding a bunch of asparagus spears and speaking to a yellow-skinned, bearded humanoid barely in the panel. The pink humanoid is saying “HEY GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE HEALTHY FOOD TASTE BAD?”
The second panel shows the yellow-skinned, bearded humanoid in more detail. It has a halo and is wearing a white robe. It’s rolling its eyes angrily as it responds “OH MY GOD! DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU EVERYTHING?”
The third panel shows the still-angry yellow-skinned humanoid cooking the asparagus spears in a frying pan over the open flame of a gas stove as the pink humanoid watches on amazed. The yellow humanoid is saying “SAUTÉ 'EM AND DON’T FORGET THE SEASONING! STIR AND TASTE AS YOU COOK!”
The final panel shows a close-up of the pink humanoid holding a half-eaten asparagus spear with its mouth full and eyes wide in awe as it says “IT’S… DELICIOUS!” A response from off-screen replies “OF COURSE IT IS!”
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Cook nearly any veggie in shallots, cream, whisked in egg, top with Parmesan, broil until brown.
Veggie gratin that isn’t the most healthy but is better than nothing, and brilliant served as a side to steak. I recommend mushrooms, spinach or zucchini.
Was gonna say, that sounds pretty high in fat. Definitely better than a lot of the alternatives, but I’d only call it just this side of not healthy.
The real problem is that healthy food really is only good if it’s fresh, and so it’s a lot more inaccessible than shitty, processed either frozen or fast food.
I just spent Thanksgiving with my family, and was reminded how much my parents love boiling things. Fucking disgusting, no spices either? Fuck bland potatoes. It takes almost no effort to just toss a bunch of fucking spices on them and then put them in the oven.
Isnt thanksgiving a month from now? Are you like from the future? Why did you suddenly come back? Is the whole world doomed and you came back to warn us of something terrible?!?!?
My dad does this, just boils vegetables and potatoes so long that they’re reduced to their component quarks and then serves them in a bowl with nothing on them. For bonus points, he makes sure they’ve cooled off to room temperature before we eat. I want to blame the Great Depression for this style of “cuisine”, but he was born after that shit.
No excuse for bland potatoes. Even boiled, they can taste good. Low effort, throw some dill on those bastards. It’s that easy. My mom is diabetic, and down a kidney, so salt and sugar are not really things in the food she makes, but it always tastes good.
Get a rice cooker. Get rice and FROZEN pre-processed (chopped) veggies. These are still very inexpensive, require no preparation, last forever in the freezer, and are actually FRESHER than “fresh” veggies, since they are picked when ripe and then flash frozen rather than picked prematurely and sprayed with a ripening agent. Your rice cooker should come with a veggie tray so you can cook the rice and veggies simultaneously. Drop them in there and fire it up. Get yourself some “simmering sauce” and heat it up in a pan for ~15 minutes and baby you got a stew goin’.
It’s just like a pre-mixed (typically middle-Eastern) sauce with coconut milk and spices and thing like that pre-prepared. It shouldn’t have any preservatives or anything you can’t pronounce.
There’s many options for sauces, depending on your preferences and dietary requirements, but there are a few key common steps.
For example many Indian curry type sauces can begin with frying diced onions, some ginger, garlic, chillis, coriander seed powder, cumin powder, turmeric powder, black pepper, and tomato paste, then coconut milk to form the main body of the sauce. Don’t worry if you don’t have access to all of these, mix and match. Then finish with fresh coriander leaves.
Or a simple marinara type sauce begins with frying diced onions, garlic, tomato paste, followed by a glass of wine and a can of tomato to make the main body of the sauce. Add basil at the very end, as the flavor is delicate and destroyed by heat.
Notice in both cases we begin with aromatics - onions, garlic, spices - that get heated up to release the volatile flavor compounds. Then deglazing the pan and simmering with something that constitutes the main bulk of the sauce - e.g. canned tomato or coconut. Then finishing with more delicate herbal flavors that get desroyed by extended cooking. This is a general pattern that appears in foods from all over the world. The crucial part is learning how long each ingredient requires to cook for, and therefore what stage it gets added.
Once you get used to this you can begin to enjoy the creativity and rewarding nature of cooking, and explore the world through food. Like the Indian example above can be quite easily modified into a Thai green curry with a few substitutions such as extra green chillis, galangal instead of ginger, and finishing with Thai basil.
I’d say another crucial aspect is appreciating the importance of emulsions - a colloidal suspension of small fat particles in water - which results in a rich and unctuous mouthfeel. Many of our favorite foods and sauces are emulsions (butter, mayonnaise, pesto, curry). But I don’t want to overload you with information as I’ve already written a lot. Good luck.
Also a starch slurry or roux are easy ways to thicken sauces, controlling the consistency of a sauce can be important depending on what you are tossing in it or putting it over.
As an adult who thought that they hated pretty much all veggies (especially broccoli and corn) and found out that I absolutely love them when prepared fresh and that the bagged versions tasted like ass, I’m gonna call bullshit on that.
It might work for you, but nothing beats freshly-prepared corn, whether grilled in the husks or cut and sauteed.
Food starts rotting the instant it’s harvested, and continues doing so while it’s packaged, transported, and stored on the shelf. Modern flash freezing techniques preserve foods perfectly, halting the microorganisms that cause decomposition, and avoiding the damage caused by large ice crystal formation that’s inevitable with slow domestic freezers.
Interestingly with the sweetcorn, it used to be that it had to be eaten immediately after harvest, so much so that you’d have the water boiling before even picking them. However with modern developments they can remain fresh much longer.
Okay, I’ll eat both…just as soon as apple and/or amazon sews your lips to my anus. Maybe I’ll stack some fiberone bars on top of it so that I fart for a few hours before the shit comes out.
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