telegra.ph

tfw_no_toiletpaper, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

I still don’t understand why the cooking skill of my parents sucked this bad. I started cooking on my own when I moved out and even after just a bit of practise and good recipes you can cook tasty meals. How do you go on 50 years failing this, I don’t understand. If I see another bowl of dry rice, canned peas and ready marinated chicken from some discounter I’m going to throw up.

snausagesinablanket,
@snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world avatar

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  • Tlaloc_Temporal,
    @Tlaloc_Temporal@lemmy.ca avatar

    Practise is correct UK spelling.

    afraid_of_zombies,

    What does the UK know about English?

    DillyDaily,

    Practise is a verb, practice is a noun.

    I like to remember it with the following sentence.

    “The doctor had to practise his surgery skills before he could open his own private practice clinic”

    Verb, S=surgery. Noun, C=clinic

    michaelmrose,

    It’s funny that you offer correction. UK English makes this distinction, US English doesn’t and uses practice for both. Internationally where many English speakers mix neither usage can really be said to be incorrect. Pedantry fail.

    DillyDaily,

    Eh, I’m not that invested as to feel I’ve failed. To fail you need to try. I just like fighting fire with fire when I see people correcting other’s spelling online.

    At the end of the day, as long as you’re communicating your message effectively whatever you’ve written has done it’s job. I’m dyslexic, people offering unnecessary spelling advice irks me, so if they make a “mistake” (at least, as far as prescriptive English goes) I’m going to annoy them the same way their comments annoys everyone else. If they’re not annoyed by it, well who cares, nothing gained nothing lost.

    alekwithak,

    Boomers came up as fast food franchises and convenience foods began to dominate. The equal rights movement meant more women in the workplace and less in the kitchen and instead of spreading the burden, capitalism filled in the gaps.

    AnagrammadiCodeina,

    Too many people order shitty delivery so that they can save 15 minutes cooking while spending 3 times more

    Smoogs,

    And damage the organs with the much higher salt and sugar content.

    AnagrammadiCodeina,

    Well to damage the organs you need to eat VERY badly for decades but yes in general i agree

    Smoogs,

    Much can go wrong before 50.

    afraid_of_zombies,

    Because they did cook well at one point. It took hours, it involved a lot of cleanup, and 4 year old you whined and complained for some chicken nuggets and the fucking candy bar your aunt gave you without talking to your parents first.

    So they gave up. The tantrums, the rejection, the effort. None of it was worth it. Like pretty much every skill in life it atrophied.

    RoquetteQueen,
    @RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works avatar

    I loved to cook and I’m good at it. My 5-year-old won’t eat a burger I made and asks instead to go to the “burger store”. I don’t want to cook much anymore.

    afraid_of_zombies,

    Know the feeling. Feel so defeated. Fighting this losing battle against all the crap junk food people want to give my kids on top of the normal tendency of children to only enjoy bland food.

    rchive,

    Another explanation is that American cuisine got wrecked by the Great Depression. Everything that had flavor was expensive. People’s inability to purchase and make certain foods stopped generational transfer of knowledge on how to make certain things. Thankfully, after several generations it’s finally recovering.

    “Ethnic” food (non European) wasn’t as affected as much.

    I heard an interview about a book on it a few years ago but now I can’t find it.

    speck, to comicstrips in "Together" by Chris Hallbeck

    Because I assumed they were a male couple, that punchline landed differently

    populustree,

    they could be men, women, or even normal! that’s the cool part of this comic.

    Diprount_Tomato,
    @Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

    “Or even normal” 💀💀💀

    Adi2121,

    “I like all races, black, Asian, Hispanic, and normal”

    Diprount_Tomato,
    @Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

    Imagine thinking those are actual races

    Anticorp, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    “Oh my God!”

    Who is God’s God?

    UraniumBlazer,

    I

    BigPapaE,

    Super God, duh

    photonic_sorcerer,
    @photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    Dog

    uis,
    @uis@lemmy.world avatar

    Lauren Faust

    uis,
    @uis@lemmy.world avatar
    kux,
    @kux@kbin.social avatar

    just be an actual paedophile and get it over with

    uis,
    @uis@lemmy.world avatar

    WTF is this? What’s wrong with you?

    dangblingus,

    It’s commonly accepted by most people that don’t watch My Little Pony, that the grown ass men that do watch MLP, and always hyper obsess over it, may be subtly indicating that they are into other children’s things.

    uis,
    @uis@lemmy.world avatar

    Ah… Huh. Do they know that fans in order to not be adults now whould need to be 5 years old or younger when show started?

    Anticorp,

    What? My Little Pony was created in like 1981. Anyone who watched the show when it aired is middle aged now.

    uis, (edited )
    @uis@lemmy.world avatar

    I was talking about G4

    kux,
    @kux@kbin.social avatar

    your idolisation of children's pony cartoons is a flimsy front for your attraction to children. castrate yourself

    Detheroth,

    Wouldn’t it be more logical to suggest that idolisation of a children’s pony show is more of a front for a furry? Or is it because the show is created for children, if an adult likes it they’re a pedophile?

    I always assumed MLP fans were closer to furries. The show is about horses, not kids?

    Anticorp,

    Why are you expecting logic from someone as hateful and moronic as the person you’re responding to?

    Detheroth,

    Fair point. Kinda makes me just as moronic doesn’t it?

    If he ever wants to explain his reasoning, I’m happy to hear it. Even if it’s just to get an opposing perspective. FWIW, Ive never seen MLP and couldn’t care less who watches it.

    kux,
    @kux@kbin.social avatar

    i'd rather be a furry than a paedophile, but i'd rather be dead than be either

    but that's not helpful and as you asked reasonably, it's more gut feeling than reasoning, but since i'm here i'll try to reason it out. MLP obsessives like your man here, i'm not talking about e.g. parents who watch it with their kids and think it's ok, keeps 'em quiet, kills the time etc, but people like uis who reply unprompted with pony spam if not seriously disturbed themselves are part of a community full of seriously disturbed people

    take those image links, the images are hosted at derpicdn.net which if you navigate directly to it resolves to derpibooru.org. on the face of it not all that alarming but this will assuage only the most casual observer. if you use the filters link on the header and choose 'everything' [1] (not selected by default) and return to the homepage you will see some severely foul shit.

    if you then go to 'all time top scoring' [2] you will see what is popular amongst these harmless cartoon enjoyers. the ponies, being designed for children, are childlike in appearance and can be seen displaying their imagined pony genitals, sucking pony dicks and getting fucked. bronies like uis post harmless images like those in the thread above but those images are found amongst several thousands of stills and animations of them which are rather less harmless. visit the links below to verify, or don't, i'm going away to delete my history and wish i never started to reply to this bullshit in the first place

    [1] https://derpibooru.org/filters/56027
    [2] https://derpibooru.org/search?q=*&sf=score&sd=desc

    Honytawk,

    Furries want to be their fursona and usually also fuck in them (not with them).

    While bronies have jars with their favourite pony, which they masturbate over to fill the jar with semen.

    Vespair,

    Nobody wants you here, and I suspect nobody else has ever wanted you anywhere else either. Please spill back into the sewers with the rest of the waste.

    Spzi,

    The infinite regress of creator’s creators.

    Diprount_Tomato,
    @Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

    God.

    MonkderZweite,

    The author.

    uis,
    @uis@lemmy.world avatar
    boatsnhos931,

    Bill Murray

    ThePac, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    Anybody trying to tell me that sauteed veggies taste as good as a hamburger has lost from the beginning.

    Jumi,

    I’d take those over some greasy burgers any time of the day

    FuglyDuck,
    @FuglyDuck@lemmy.world avatar

    Greasy burgers? Sure.

    Good, craft burgers? Naw

    Surdon,

    Honestly fresh veggies sautéed right are better than any hamburger, and I love to eat meats

    ThePac,

    Insanity.

    ours,

    Top tier, fresh, sautéed, and properly spiced asparagus as pictured in the comic over a conventional burger? Count me in.

    Or a good artichoke. Yum.

    I feel too many people grew up eating overcooking mushy veggies that weren’t properly seasoned.

    JoeyHarrington,

    Canned veggies ducked everything up for kids

    Smoogs,

    I’m also a meat eater but have to disagree with you there. I prefer variety because eating the same salty slop gets boring. Maybe you have abused your tastebuds . If you take a break from certain foods it recalibrates the taste buds.

    Theharpyeagle,

    Maybe you just need to find the right veggies or the right seasoning. I wouldn’t say I love veggies more or less than a burger, but they add much needed variety.

    EfreetSK, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein
    @EfreetSK@lemmy.world avatar

    No! Salt kills you, cooking kills vitamins and when you think you do everything right, then your vegetables don’t have good enough quality and don’t have enough nutritients. Eating healthy means to suffer, deal with it!!! /s

    photonic_sorcerer,
    @photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    Or just dont overcook/boil your veggies. Everything in moderation.

    raynethackery,

    Some of us grew up with terrible cooks. Properly cooked broccoli was a religious experience for me.

    SARGEx117,

    My wife grew up with terrible cooks. So did I, but I learned to cook to make my own food, she resorted to microwaves, frozen pizzas, and 2 (in my opinion extremely bland but will never say because she was super happy to make it for me) dishes she figured out.

    Since being with me, she has figured out she likes chicken, salmon and tilapia, medium steak, a few vegetables, and quite a few other things. Her parents UNDERCOOKED chicken and seafood, made steak into charcoal or still bloody with no in between which made her not trust any pink, and they boiled the everloving shit out of every vegetable until peas were mush and broccoli looked like it was rotting.

    They also never had real mayonnaise, and she only ever had miracle whip and thought she hated mayo.

    And tea was always super weak and filled with sugar, so she never had real tea until she tried mine one day and went “I thought you said this was tea?”

    Total speculation: I think the reason so many of our parents suck at cooking is because they didn’t learn before having kids, and when it came time to either spend shitloads on carryout or figure out cooking, they just remembered the basic ingredients from their own childhood, but we’re never around for the spices or cook times. And since internet wasn’t really a “I need a recipe, let me google that on my phone real quick” until much later, it was that or find a cookbook with all your favorite recipes.

    oce,
    @oce@jlai.lu avatar

    That’s depressing, glad you saved her.

    oce,
    @oce@jlai.lu avatar

    I always snort cocaine with moderation.

    RampantParanoia2365,

    Kills some of them, but guess what happens when you enjoy it, and therefore eat a lot of them?

    ozymandias117,

    Oh my god. You’re saying the vitamins are going extinct???

    Diprount_Tomato,
    @Diprount_Tomato@lemmy.world avatar

    Breathing KILLS you! 100% of people who breathe die, so stop breathing RIGHT NOW to live a healthy life!

    edgemaster72,
    @edgemaster72@lemmy.world avatar

    And have you heard about this dihydrogen monoxide stuff? It’s apparently just as bad!

    havokdj, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    So the question is…

    Who was he referring to when he said “oh my god”?

    Venat0r,

    His son.

    havokdj,

    Semantics aside, Jesus is supposed to be the physical embodiment of god, so wouldn’t it still pretty much just be the same guy?

    agarorn,

    This is a very debated question which mostly depends on which Christian confession you belong to.

    en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity

    SatansMaggotyCumFart,

    If the father, son and holy ghost had an orgy would it be a threesome or just masturbating?

    MystikIncarnate,

    Asking the real questions.

    weirdwallace75,

    That’s a whole mess of differing theologies, some of which (many of which) have been declared heretical.

    The general term for this branch of theology is Christology and lots of stuff has been written about it.

    Donttaintmebro,

    Don’t try try to bring logic to the illogical.

    ours,

    It’s both the same and different. The contradiction is a “feature” of the Christian faith.

    lingh0e,
    Grass,

    I would have written that as “oh my me”

    MargotRobbie, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein
    @MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar

    For lazy people like me: air fryer works great for asparagus and broccoli, taste good even with only salt.

    DillyDaily,

    As a lazy person who grew up with a parent who’s method of cooking vegetables was just “boil it till its grey!”, if a vegetable can be eaten raw, I will be eating it raw.

    Raw broccoli dipped in garlic greek yoghurt is delicious, nutritious and fast/lazy to prepare.

    I’m on the hunt for a vegan alternative that is decent, but until then, crunchy carrots and sugar snap peas are my go-to lazy veggies.

    Smoogs,

    Raw broccoli…Oh man I do not want to smell your farts. I mean you don’t even have to boil them but give them just a hot dip to reduce the raffinose

    ours,

    Or just steamed a bit. I hate mushy broccoli with a passion.

    DillyDaily,

    Maybe it’s because I’m on prescription probiotics and digestive enzymes, but I haven’t noticed a drastic change in my farts from the broccoli. They used to absolutely reek before I went low-dairy and started being a little more mindful of FODMAPS.

    Now pea protein powder? that amplifies my flatulence to war crime levels.

    Pitco88,

    Raw broccoli and a good hummus is a great alternative. It’s a salad combination i use quite frequently.

    HughJanus, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    I’m lazy so here’s lazy delicious veggie tip:

    Get a rice cooker. Get rice and FROZEN pre-processed (chopped) veggies. These are still very inexpensive, require no preparation, last forever in the freezer, and are actually FRESHER than “fresh” veggies, since they are picked when ripe and then flash frozen rather than picked prematurely and sprayed with a ripening agent. Your rice cooker should come with a veggie tray so you can cook the rice and veggies simultaneously. Drop them in there and fire it up. Get yourself some “simmering sauce” and heat it up in a pan for ~15 minutes and baby you got a stew goin’.

    FreshLight,

    WTF are you me?!

    Retrograde,
    @Retrograde@lemmy.world avatar

    Can you elaborate on this so called simmerin’ sauce please

    AgnosticMammal,

    Any packet sauce mix like curry or gravy’ll work too

    I’ve also heard you can cook a chicken breast on top of the bed of rice

    HughJanus,

    It’s just like a pre-mixed (typically middle-Eastern) sauce with coconut milk and spices and thing like that pre-prepared. It shouldn’t have any preservatives or anything you can’t pronounce.

    Barack_Embalmer,

    There’s many options for sauces, depending on your preferences and dietary requirements, but there are a few key common steps.

    For example many Indian curry type sauces can begin with frying diced onions, some ginger, garlic, chillis, coriander seed powder, cumin powder, turmeric powder, black pepper, and tomato paste, then coconut milk to form the main body of the sauce. Don’t worry if you don’t have access to all of these, mix and match. Then finish with fresh coriander leaves.

    Or a simple marinara type sauce begins with frying diced onions, garlic, tomato paste, followed by a glass of wine and a can of tomato to make the main body of the sauce. Add basil at the very end, as the flavor is delicate and destroyed by heat.

    Notice in both cases we begin with aromatics - onions, garlic, spices - that get heated up to release the volatile flavor compounds. Then deglazing the pan and simmering with something that constitutes the main bulk of the sauce - e.g. canned tomato or coconut. Then finishing with more delicate herbal flavors that get desroyed by extended cooking. This is a general pattern that appears in foods from all over the world. The crucial part is learning how long each ingredient requires to cook for, and therefore what stage it gets added.

    Once you get used to this you can begin to enjoy the creativity and rewarding nature of cooking, and explore the world through food. Like the Indian example above can be quite easily modified into a Thai green curry with a few substitutions such as extra green chillis, galangal instead of ginger, and finishing with Thai basil.

    I’d say another crucial aspect is appreciating the importance of emulsions - a colloidal suspension of small fat particles in water - which results in a rich and unctuous mouthfeel. Many of our favorite foods and sauces are emulsions (butter, mayonnaise, pesto, curry). But I don’t want to overload you with information as I’ve already written a lot. Good luck.

    Floey,

    Also a starch slurry or roux are easy ways to thicken sauces, controlling the consistency of a sauce can be important depending on what you are tossing in it or putting it over.

    15liam20,

    Can you elaborate on where the stew is going?

    WhiskyTangoFoxtrot,

    It’s chasing after their refrigerator.

    JoeBigelow,
    @JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca avatar

    Is Stew alright, like in the head?

    Rubanski,

    Veggy tray? Do you mean the steam “table”?

    HughJanus,

    Sure, let’s go with that.

    joenforcer,

    and are actually FRESHER than “fresh” veggies

    As an adult who thought that they hated pretty much all veggies (especially broccoli and corn) and found out that I absolutely love them when prepared fresh and that the bagged versions tasted like ass, I’m gonna call bullshit on that.

    It might work for you, but nothing beats freshly-prepared corn, whether grilled in the husks or cut and sauteed.

    Barack_Embalmer,

    The foodtuber Adam Ragusea happens to have two videos addressing these specific topics:

    The superiority of flash frozen foods: www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_PMnCpaJiQ

    Food starts rotting the instant it’s harvested, and continues doing so while it’s packaged, transported, and stored on the shelf. Modern flash freezing techniques preserve foods perfectly, halting the microorganisms that cause decomposition, and avoiding the damage caused by large ice crystal formation that’s inevitable with slow domestic freezers.

    The selective breeding and genetic engineering of sweetcorn: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIVG54wNPd0

    Interestingly with the sweetcorn, it used to be that it had to be eaten immediately after harvest, so much so that you’d have the water boiling before even picking them. However with modern developments they can remain fresh much longer.

    HughJanus,

    You can call bullshit on whatever you want but it’s a scientific fact.

    Smoogs, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    Seriously though I’m amazed at how many people don’t understand basic cooking and how easy and necessary it is to take interest in self health and basic nourishment. But then get shocked when their organs start to shut down before 50. Like “omg they are trying to kill us all with salt and sugar in fast food” shouldn’t be a shock anymore. It’s capitalism. That’s how it works. They don’t care about your body.

    fosforus, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    Children: uhh, it’s now even worse

    sharkfucker420, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein
    @sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

    Steam broccoli and cauliflower together in a microwave or steamer of your choice with butter and whatever seasonings you like. Toss in a wok with ripping hot olive oil until golden brown on the edges. Make sure to be rough with the broccoli and cauliflower, you want it to be crushed a bit. Shit slaps and it so easy. Idk if it’s healthy anymore after all the butter and oil but whatever. you can adjust the butter levels as needed but make sure there’s enough oil in the wok

    MystikIncarnate,

    Butter isn’t bad for you per-se, it’s the quantity that gets you. It’s a pretty calorie dense food, and it has a lot of other things in it that, when taken in large quantities will clog up your cardiovascular system.

    Used in proper moderation and it’s wonderful. Throwing a whole stick of it into a single serving at every meal is probably too much.

    Disclaimer: I am neither a health professional, nor a nutritionist.

    sharkfucker420,
    @sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

    Yeah of course but I use a shit ton

    PeriodicallyPedantic, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    Correction: Why is tasty unhealthy food so much easier than tasty healthy food?

    vixven_random,

    Have you tried eating those unhealthy food raw/unseasoned? With enough butter/sugar anything will taste like heaven

    PeriodicallyPedantic,

    Adding enough butter, sugar, salt, etc is easy, and makes it unhealthy. Making it taste good without lots of butter, sugar, salt is hard.

    That’s kind of my entire point

    Grippler,

    Tasty unhealthy foods are also way tastier than even the tastiest veggie dish.

    Honytawk,

    That is only true in the meat addicted West.

    Go to India and get yourself some nice authentic curry.

    Grippler,

    You’re falsely assuming that junk food is always meat based. But a curry dish ain’t got nothing on a deep fried Snickers.

    CarbonIceDragon,
    @CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social avatar

    From what I understand, it’s that foods containing lots of fats, sugars, salt etc aren’t normally unhealthy, out in the wild. When you’re worried about not starving, foods with energy storage substances like sugar are a good thing, and the amount you’ll get in some wild fruit or something isn’t bad. Salt is an essential thing to get enough of, and overabundance of it in food isn’t common. So, rather than evolve some ability to know exactly what substances we need and only want to eat food with those exact things, we have the evolutionary shortcut of “sweet things are good, fatty things are good, salty things are usually good, etc”. Our biology hasn’t really evolved to for the possibility of us farming stuff that contains sugar on an industrial scale, extracting and concentrating that sugar, and then putting unnaturally large concentrations of it in everything.

    PeriodicallyPedantic,

    That is my understanding as well. But that wouldn’t work in the context of the joke, where god just designed everything.

    fsxylo, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    Cook nearly any veggie in shallots, cream, whisked in egg, top with Parmesan, broil until brown.

    Veggie gratin that isn’t the most healthy but is better than nothing, and brilliant served as a side to steak. I recommend mushrooms, spinach or zucchini.

    Ookami38,

    Was gonna say, that sounds pretty high in fat. Definitely better than a lot of the alternatives, but I’d only call it just this side of not healthy.

    The real problem is that healthy food really is only good if it’s fresh, and so it’s a lot more inaccessible than shitty, processed either frozen or fast food.

    feedum_sneedson,

    It’s unhealthy.

    mojo, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein

    Ok but why sugar taste so good

    chaorace,
    @chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org avatar

    CALORIE

    FuglyDuck,
    @FuglyDuck@lemmy.world avatar

    Because natural foods are sweet when they’re the most nutritious.

    Fruit, for example, or carrots (which convert it’s starches into sugars to avoid freezing.)

    Prior to modern food preservation and heavily processed foods, getting calories was hard enough on its own, so we’re primed to seek calorie rich food.

    We’ve evolved- technologically- to the point that’s no longer true, but our biology hasn’t caught up yet.

    EveningPancakes,

    Because it’s seasoned with diabetes

    EmperorHenry, to comicstrips in "Just Season It" by Mr.Lovenstein
    @EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Cuddle fish and asparagus…or vanilla paste?

    Retrograde,
    @Retrograde@lemmy.world avatar

    Yes

    EmperorHenry,
    @EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

    Okay, I’ll eat both…just as soon as apple and/or amazon sews your lips to my anus. Maybe I’ll stack some fiberone bars on top of it so that I fart for a few hours before the shit comes out.

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