So I’m not sure how applicable this is - I’m a programmer, and I’m not neurotypical - but here’s how it works for me
If this, then that. When a certain trigger happens, I’ve conditioned myself to stop my train of thought and reevaluate
When I realize I’m uncomfortable or agitated, I first ask myself “am I dehydrated? Am I overheated?”. If not, I look at the situation… If I’m talking to someone and feel agitated, is it because of something that happened earlier today, is it because I’m just in a mood, or is there any other reason this is a me thing, and snapping at them would be unfair.
It’s a lot of introspection, and I’m not sure it applies to someone who doesn’t need coping mechanisms like this… But here’s how it applies to logical fallacies:
If someone says something I feel is wrong, first I ask myself, why do I think that?
Maybe I’ve been taught wrong. I first heard the vaccines cause autism from a parent who said “I think he was susceptible, and the shock to his system from the vaccines triggered his autism”. On it’s face, that made sense - it wasn’t until a coworker sighed and walked away after a comment I made that I googled it, and there was evidence against it and none for it, so I changed my mind immediately. I had no facts, one opinion by someone with a personal stake in it, and so I was wrong.
So if I only “know” a thing because I was told or because I assumed it, I immediately pull out my phone and look for evidence. You can do it very quick with practice, and people generally respond well when you take them seriously - either you go “huh, I guess you’re right” and they’re all smiles, or you show them what you found and go into the conversation with sources - either they can refute the source or you know they’re ignoring the numbers
So now, let’s say you’re arguing something not so clear-cut, I have a reason to believe what I do based on facts, but the answer isn’t obvious.
So first off, I don’t care if you’re the surgeon general or an anonymous Lemmy poster - ideas matter, people don’t. The only time you trust authority is when you aren’t able to understand the issue - and that comes up plenty, but it has no place in a conversation about the issue - you should be trying to understand ideas if you’re talking about it. If they bring up a person, that’s not an actual argument… Just ignore the names and the titles.
Hitler was right about some things, George Washington was wrong about some things - pretending otherwise is dumb. I’m on Hitler’s side about interior design… Nazi stuff looks imposing and regal. I’m also Jewish, so I’m not exactly a fan of the guy. Ideas matter, where they come from has nothing to do with anything
Next, is “if I can’t understand why someone would do/think this, I’m missing facts”. If you can’t give me a solid argument for the other side, I take everything you say about the topic with a grain of salt. No one is evil in their own story, no one takes a hilariously bad stance just because they’re dumb… They have a reason to think that way, and if I can’t understand why, then I’m missing something.
And if I’m missing something, it’s foolish to make up my mind before I hear what that is.
Then you get to the actual arguments. I lay it out in my head. I break down the individual statements - do they make sense individually? Are they actually related to each other?
Most of all, it’s important to see the difference between winning the argument and making a point. I’m not a great speaker - i don’t remember specifics well, I remember my conclusions. I lose arguments all the time, and I pride myself on the fact that if I realize I’m wrong, I’ll turn on a dime and own up to it.
But winning an argument and being right are almost unrelated things.
Finally, go back and fact check. The argument might be long over, but the goal should always be to understand better and gain a deeper perspective - follow up for your own sake
So my advice is: stop, reevaluate, and refocus. Every time something doesn’t sound right to you, take a minute. Take a breath, remember your goal, and decide if what you’ve just been told changes that.
It’s easy to get buried in details or lost in the heat of the moment, so make a habit of taking yourself out of it
The point is your gained wisdom through experience. That’s what the old people always tried to tell us.
Are you going to solve any of those problems? No. Are you going to be able to join some organization or movement that solves them? Probably no. Will you be able to affect any change that the world will take notice of? Probably not.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a part of it. Not everything that has value makes meaningful changes on the world. There was a French artist, Marcel Duchamps, who once exhibited a urinal. This was clearly not an attempt to move art in any direction, or change public perception, he was kinda just being an asshole. But it had that effect anyway. People still get pissy about it, in the form of, “Is it art?” conversations. Is it? Doesn’t matter. It was a low effort one-off idea that has lasted for decades.
Life isn’t actually a race to see how much you can achieve. And if it was that, then it wouldn’t be measured by money. It wouldn’t be measured by “legacy,” the way we use that word for rich people and sports stars. If it really was a contest, then it would be based on how much good you can manage in the face of constant depressive onslaught.
The world has never seemed like it has a point to most people. But they try their best, and they make meaningful impact on the lives of others, often without intention or even knowledge of having done so .
One of my most influential people has no idea that he did anything. He’s around somewhere, although I haven’t seen him for 20 years. All he did was treat me like a person when I was a dumb teenager (not to say all teenagers are dumb, but I was). It really wasn’t much. But I hadn’t been treated that way before, so to me it’s influential because it was something he did that he didn’t have to do.
That guy is not going to be lying on his deathbed thinking, “At least I was a good influence on scared of planes.” For all I know, he doesn’t remember me. Doesn’t matter. He spread some good into the world. That’s your job. That’s your point.
Just be a better you tomorrow than you are today, as many days as you can manage. Know that no one does that every day. And you’ll live a meaningful life that maybe has influence. Your legacy is you.
OP I would read the above comment a couple times and anytime you’re feeling down. Especially the part about just being a positive influence on those around you, that’s all most of us can hope for. Be the light in the darkness, as they say.
In addition to these methods of finding some peace within, I’d also say that the world is not as bad as it sometimes seems. It’s difficult because “bad news” generates more outrage and clicks. And as you said the world is indeed run by money, so we get it shoved in our faces a lot. But there is always good too. By my estimate, I’d say about 2/3 of people just want to live a life of peace and fellowship with their neighbors, friends, and family. The other third kinda suck. But hey, they scream the loudest and seek out positions where they can abuse power, so we end up hearing about them and being influenced by them more.
The world has problems, no doubt. Climate change is real and it’s going to affect our lives for a number of generations, but it probably won’t be the end of humanity. We’ll adapt, and with any luck the technology that is being worked on today will save us from the worst of it. Species going extinct is sad, but it’s also a normal part of evolution and has happened for millions of years without our help. Our ignorance and negligence has exacerbated the problem and is directly responsible for the extinction of many species, I get it, that sucks. But we’ve also rescued many from the brink of extinction. Most folks aren’t evil, we’re just a little dumb, and greedy.
War, poverty, corruption, again big setbacks to humanity, but, whether it makes you feel any better or not, these things are consistent throughout all of human history. Remember, 1/3 of people kinda suck. However there’s an argument to be made that none of these issues are as bad today as they have been in the past. I think of all of the above as our room for improvement as a species, something to be hopeful for.
It’s important to be mindful of our shortcomings, but don’t beat yourself up by focusing on them all the time. Instead, consider all the good that we’ve accomplished. Medicine, civil rights, scientific discoveries, technology, art in its many forms, advancements for the disabled, we’re coming up on robotic limbs and hands controlled by your mind, that is simply incredible. In nearly every way the quality of life today vastly exceeds what it did even just 150 years ago, and the average person today lives better than kings of yesterday. Air conditioning? Cold, clean drinking water? A hot shower??! If I were shoved back in time and couldn’t ever take a hot shower… well I’d be very very upset.
TLDR; Yea, sometimes we suck pretty hard. But there are people doing good in the world every single day, and we have come a long way already from our worst habits and living conditions. It’s entirely fair to be optimistic about and fight for the future you want to see.
Well said. I would also add that for me, stopping my consumption of news has dramatically increased my happiness. The news outlets only spread negative fear mongering bs. Most of it you can't change. I stopped consuming negative media and its helped a ton.
I’ve had this exact same thought for so much of my life and it’s always made me feel a little better. We all get there eventually, no need to rush it, may as well just find out what comes next.
I think it has always been like this. We have always been on the edge of progress or total destruction. You may want to watch the Oppenheimer movie as the fears we have now about end of the world, were the same then, maybe even worse.
Throughout history people have worried about the end and while they are not wrong to have concern as there are just so many vectors to take us out, some self inflicted, we have survives and thrived. Fearing the doom scenario seems normal but we have been doing for so long despite doing so well on so many key metrics overall that I think this reality needs to be the focus. Although, I did read a paper once that said worry is just mother-natures way of ensuring we avoid bad things by making them uncomfortable. Maybe we all need to lean into the uncomfortableness as it will come to us sooner than later anyways.
I’d like to relax people around me, make them happy and communicative. Imagine entering public transport during rush hour, and all of a sudden, everyone around you puts away the phone and people start to talk to eachother, with a smile on their face.
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