Does working as a security guard and having the company that contracted your company trying to get you to basically be their own personal police force count? I worked for a security company hired by Longs and the loss prevention manager of the Longs kept trying to get us to do things that, in California anyway, are illegal as a security guard. Such as digging through someone’s personal belongings. We can ask to look inside, but not touch, and we really can’t force them to comply. We could not arrest people. We couldn’t have weapons (not even allowed to carry a pocket knife while on duty with our guard cards). Little Napoleonic complex motherfucker didn’t care. He would insist that it was legal and we would just tell him to talk to our boss because he isn’t our supervisor, manager or even part of our company.
I used to work retail loss prevention and had several of the exact opposite- we’d get contract security to supplement our staff as a visual deterrent and they would then think they were given carte blanche to hassle whoever the fuck they wanted. It really didn’t take long to realize that as long as I treated shoplifters with respect, more often than not they would come with, take care of the paperwork, get their ticket from the real cops and then be on their way unless the jurisdiction required they get booked. But there would always be that one fuckhead trying to steal thousands of dollars worth of shit and then act like we had no right to stop or detain them . I know it varies by where you live, but we were fully allowed to make citizens arrests and would do so daily. In 21 years I got subpoenaed four times and testified once. Never lost one case.
When you notice yourself not wanting to do something you know you should do, do it anyways. For me, it started with taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work. Snowball it from there. That’s really the only way, there aren’t shortcuts.
Ahh I can imagine this helping. Can you remember any other examples?I think I’ve done stuff like this before with forcing myself to eat broccoli which I didn’t like but knew was good fkr me…
Sure! I used to hate doing the dishes and would let them pile up until I had no clean ones left, so then if I looked at the sink and saw that there were dishes I didn’t want to do, I’d do them anyways. When I wanted to stop, I’d just keep going until they were done. Even if my back started hurting and my hands were soggy, even when I was so bored I wanted to tear my eyes out, I’d just keep going until they were done.
Making your bed is something you can do every day to build willpower. You don’t HAVE to do it, and usually probably don’t want to, but it only takes like 5 minutes and makes your living space look nice, which makes it a good exercise.
Idk how old you are, but I’m old enough to no longer live with my parents. They’re like almost an hour away. When they call to invite me over, my knee-jerk reaction is to stay home, but I know they’re not gonna be around forever and I should see them every now and again, so I’ll force myself to go visit.
Going to the gym, or going on runs also helps. Working out is hard, and staying consistent is even harder. Lifting weights/getting exercise is just as much a mental battle as it is a physical one. 4-5 days per week, 5 exercises per session, 3 sets of 10 reps. It’ll take about an hour to complete. There are more efficient ways to work out, but that would be a good starting point. Alternatively, run/jog for 30 min, or go on an hour long walk 5 days per week.
In my head i call it the “Rule of least want to do”. If i have 2-3 tasks that need doing (ususlly work related), i think of which thing i least want to do. That’s the thing i get done, then move down the line.
Yeah that’s basically the concept/book Eat that Frog. Basically if you Eat a Frog or do you least liked task first thing in the morning it makes everything else easier and not so bad.
Heh I guess I can see how that helps. Because I was thinking something along the lines of forcing myself to close a YT video half way through, which is essentially the same effect. (Not that YT videos make me orgasm or anything lol)
For me, it’s 100% about positive self talk and mini goals. Instead of trying to motivate myself to run 5 miles, it’s one 100ft section at a time. Fix a goal I can see, then run there and give myself a mental high five for getting there. Then do it again one more time. And then one more time and on and on til I get to the end.
This is covered in a lot or depression literature, where you need to literally rewire your brain to defeat the attempt to reach homeostasis, which has become a depressed state. Little positive actions and thoughts that eventually rewire the neural pathways and create new ones little by little. If you want to learn more about that, the technical side made very understandable by a psychologist and neuroscientist who specializes in depression and anxiety, you should check out “The Upward Spiral”. It’s really good and i highly recommend it. It has helped me start the healing and coping process.
I feel the opposite. If someone goes on an “Ask” community and is responding to most answers, it feels like they’re trying to push an agenda. The polite thing, in my mind, is upvote the answers you get and only respond to ask clarifying questions or maaaaybe say thanks if anything is particularly insightful or helpful.
While of course i have a reason for posting this thread just like everyone else’s always does. It’d be really weird not having an abnormally high reply rate giving the spirit of my post lol. I could have gone the other way and intentionally replied to zero people as a joke.
Under normal conditions i would do like you say, just not for this post for obvious reasons.
edit: also, some people are just more invested or friendly, they might want some conversation. I do realise you are taking a stab at me, but its ok to chat a bit.
its a running joke in 196 communities that the only rule is to post before you leave. people are just letting everyone know they’re following that rule
I thought I also saw, at some point, a post saying the only rule was your post had to have “rule” somewhere in the title. (Probably in response to people making their required one post and already putting rule in the title). And after that I feel like I saw a lot more posts with rule in the title.
I’m pretty certain it’s not a rule there, everyone just kind of assumes it’s what you’re meant to do when they post, because they see every other post.
Kind of a self enforcing unofficial rule, I guess?
90% of willpower is preparation. Arrange your life to make the things you should do easier and the things you should avoid less convenient.
Example: To avoid sleeping in, or worse, dicking around on my phone instead of sleeping or getting up, I put my phone to charge on the other side of the bedroom.
Another: I put a speaker in my kitchen to listen to music when I wash dishes. A lot easier to wash just those last few pots, even if I feel like I’m ready for a break, if I want to finish the song.
Yeah I have been trying to do this and it has helped with my productivity. The problem is, it might make it easier for you to do but that is precisely because you are minimising the amount of willpower you have to use to get those things done. Which I think os what’s keeping me weak
I would try and avoid negative self talk (weak) as it can really just reenforce guilt/shame. The classic example I learned in therapy was should statements. When you think/say I should have… It can bring alot of negativity but it’s usually easy to change it to a could or would statement. I would have or could have xyz. Would/could can be a slippery slope to excuse/procrastinate things but it’s okay to legitimately give your self a break when the circumstances warrant it. Brains need downtime, you don’t have to be filling 100% of your day
doing prep work isn’t cheapening your willpower as long as your consistent and apply it to everything and not just the easy things. Another trick I learned is to try and break a task down into the smallest step you can do to make progress. Step one could literally be get a pad of paper, or change into work out clothes. It makes taking the next step easier and also is kinda like “Well I already have the pen and paper I might as well get writing” or “I’m changed so I might as well do something” even if it’s just a walk or jog. But again the key is consistentcy.
Oh thats a good point, turning a ‘should have’ into a ‘could have’ actually sounds really empowering because it must remove some of the guilt. And the taking the smallest step strategy sounds really helpful too – it reminds me of the concept of ‘non-zero days’ I read about a while back that I really have found effective
If I’m posting a question, I simply won’t have anything better to say to someone who answered with more expertise than me 🤷♂️. If I say thanks to everyone just for the sake of it, I feel like I’m clogging up the comment section.
I had a serious case of chickenpox right before I turned 21. All over crust, mouth, eyelids, ears, groin…I smelled like I was rotting and eventually was hospitalized for two weeks. The nurses took turns or drew straws or something. I pretty much went out of my mind for awhile.
On a positive note, afterwards, I didn’t have any kind of acne for like 5 years.
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