Normalize patterns, stoning, sequins, and non-functional accessories; normalize wrap around single legged bottoms of all kinds.... I'm genderqueer so neither side of gendered clothing styles suits me ideally, so I mix them, but I'm not especially feminine, so I'd like to find like, thick flat black skirts, shawls, and all kinds of feminized items in more masculine styles, and of course the opposite for femme leaning enbies and varieties for any other potential aesthetic.
I think we should just take all the styles we have, mix them in the languages and symbols of any gendered styles we can, so everybody can wear any items they like best in styles they most appreciate aesthetically.
I would love to see more color and flair normalized for all kinds of men. I see so many dudes wearing the khaki pants, blue dress shirt uniform. Boring.
I want to go to work wearing cozy robes that give big buffs to intellect, haste, and mastery that give off a vibe of 10,000 souls of the dammed are sewn into the threads. You know, dress for the job you want. I guess cloaks would be a reasonable start since raid gear may be a bit of an inconvenience in the office.
The way I move through the world and the way people treat me is just fundamentally different to the way that they used to treat me. I have seen and lived “both sides” as it were
I sometimes still have trouble believing that it’s real…
It is real for sure. I’m a cis male with what is generally considered a woman’s name. At work, it is crazy how differently people treat me when they only know me through chat or email vs in person or on the phone. It gets really interesting meeting some people for the first time after communicating only via text for a while. So much changes right at that moment.
Robes, or whatever it is that Olgeird wears in The Witcher. Those would look fresh as hell and it would be nice to have an outfit to throw on like a dress.
Something that’s inexpensive, comfortable, and socially acceptable. I could not give a fuck less what it looks like. I don’t think a $5k suit shows that I know what I am doing; in fact, it suggests the opposite. Someone that purchases a $5k suit is bad with money. I’m not.
That is why I fell in love with shrooms, TBH. Psilocybin has resurrected a curiosity in me that I haven’t felt in years. I just seemed that at 40 years, there aren’t many situations that I haven’t seen or experienced in daily life. As a side benefit, I have learned how to grow mushrooms.
The “midlife crisis” is real. For me, it’s looking for new things to do, cutting out bad habits (drinking) and am trying not to think about how life is actually all downhill from here. I am not going to buy a sports car or anything, but some healthy experimentation with psychedelics does seem to scratch that itch.
I think I rationalized my fear by understanding just how much shit I have seen and I still have another 30 to 40 years left, which is a good thing.
For everyone wondering whether or not they’re depressed, there is a tool doctors use called the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI), broadly available online as a PDF. If you score high talk to your doctor about it. Take good care of yourselves fellow lemmings.
Additionally, mindfulness sometimes gets a bad rep but it’s an awesome way to reconnect with your ‘feeling’ side. There are many apps, I found one that really works for me and it’s awesome.
Ehh…I disagree with this if we are specifically talking about what the OP is referring to.
When you’re a child, everything is new, making all of it exciting. For example…as a child, OP had only experienced winter a few times. As an adult, they’ve experienced countless winters. It becomes routine instead of new and so it fades into the background. And with adult obligations to worry about, we don’t have that worry free child mind that can drift off like that. It’s just part of getting older.
OP, sometimes it’s worth making a conscious decision to stop and take a moment to notice and experience your surroundings. There’s a thunderstorm outside? Grab a warm cup of coffee and just try to watch and listen for a moment. If possible, open a window (that won’t let rain in) or sit outside under an awning and just take in all of your senses. Go out for a walk without any music and without using your phone. Try to look at the trees and birds around you and take it in. Smell the air…has the grass been recently cut? Has it rained recently? Is there mud around? Is someone nearby grilling some food? Are there leaves on the ground? Try stepping on one. Do they crunch or are they soft and wet?
As a child, everything is new. As an adult, it’s routine and boring. But you can still manage to capture a small bit of this feeling back if you actively decide to stop from time to time and consciously try to take in your surroundings for a moment. Stop and try to feel all of your senses.
You can never make these feelings new again, but sometimes I find some satisfaction in watching and listening to the world around me.
Photography helped me with this, and I know not everyone is creative, but editing photos personally helped me find some wonder. You can do so much with perspective and change an image into something completely different with just the right modifications… Anyway. The world is shifty and we have all been in it too long and are Hella jaded. You just have to find novel things, even if it is harder for our brains to view that way, we can even trick our brains by doing mundane things in a new way. Like for instance instead of shaving in the shower or bathroom, go outside into nature, bring a mirror and shave there. I remember Michio Kaku saying something like this and the added bonus is it will make your life feel longer too, since it is adding novelty, your brain doesn’t just go into autopilot.
I think a big part of it is that when we are young, all of these are new experiences to us. And as such, they carry a lot more emotion and stimulation.
As an adult, you’ve experienced many things. To some degree, your brain is likely acustomed to it.
Something that helps is breaking out of your routines and experiencing new things. I’ve heard our neural pathways described as the grooves that form on a hill when sledding. When you first slide down the hill, you’re making brand new grooves. Each trip is different and unique. But over time, trails get established and you end up using the same worn trails over and over.
Experiencing new, bespoke things is like breaking out of the trails and making a new one.
At least, that’s my understanding! I’m not a proffessional, just someone who can relate to what you’re describing :)
Not just cause of age, but people disregard feeling when they don’t find it comfortable with. People want to be treated in someway and don’t want you feel in other shape or form.
Which is another reason why we tame/shape our feelings abiding by the social norms.
I used to be over friendly in my 20s. That behaviour isn’t appreciated in professional relationships. I had to change my attitude towards people overtime and stop emphathizing with them, to a certain degree.
It is certainly a matter of environment and peers you had around you, not age.
Definitely agree. To your point on new things, I still feel that sense of awe and wonder when I go on trips to places I’ve never been, hear an awesome song for the first time, or even learn something new. It takes a certain level of motivation to feel those senses as you age (mid 30s here), and determination to seek those things out. I know I am lucky in that I’m at a stage in life where I have the resources to make some of these happen, but a lot of it is also forcing the free time to both seek out experiences and also be able to appreciate them.
I have to agree. I grew up in a tropical climate and moved to the northern part of the northern hemisphere several years ago. The first few winters I would look like some kind of child lost in the wonder of the beauty of snow falling because I’d never lived in a place that had snow. Sometimes I still have those moments.
I am not a doctor, but it could be depression. It is really difficult to not feel terrible sometimes given the state of the world right now.
I think one of the reasons people like having kids, is because they can see the world through there eyes. Everything you’ve already experienced numerous of times, they get to see for the first time and relay there joy to you. And you get to show them. Ignoring the depressing reality, painting a picture of the world like it once felt to you.
Yep. Each time you perform the same action, say the same words, think the same thoughts the connection of the neural pathways responsible for those things are strengthened. It is why depression and anxiety and other mental issues are so hard to reverse. It is possible though. I urge anyone who thinks they have depression to look up a book called “The Upward Spiral.” It is co-written by a neuroscientist and a psychologist and was really eye opening for me on the inner workings of the brain when it comes to depression and anxiety and has helped me at least start on a path to making myself better.
It’s probably just a me thing, but I would love to see in the workforce a shift back to the 60s in style.
As someone in their mid-twenties, I like the idea of in an office setting looking your absolute best or when you are serving someone at a store or restaurant/fast food place looking slightly nicer.
As someone who has had to do that, no, it needed to go away. I get wanting to look nice, but clothes need to be practical too. There's not much point to it when you're setting at a desk looking at PC monitor all day. It's expensive to buy, and expensive to keep clean. And back in the 60s it wasn't 45c in the shade either. Making employees wear suits and ties like back then is apt to kill a few people.
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