The problem is that a version of this advice can be very helpful. As someone who has suffered from ongoing mental health issues and also work in an industry where I regularly support people with mental health issues, one piece of advice I often give is to identify what traumas are you unnecessarily holding on to, which are contributing to your depression/anxiety etc.
When you can let go of some of the more mundane stresses in your life, you have more energy to tackle the real issues you’re facing. Of course this is much easier said than done and has to be used as part of a more wholeistic approach, but sometimes the advice to just learn to let it go is very good advice.
Unfortunately, many people don’t understand that intricacy and so just repeat the surface level comment which is far from helpful. And this in turn also leads to a push back in the other direction where people who could genuinely benefit from letting go of some of their stress refuse to do so because they have spent so long being told that’s all there is to it.
There’s heaps of psychology research into therapeutic approaches and all that stuff out there if you’re willing to essentially do a degree on the topic, but personally I like to keep things as simple as possible so anyone can start applying it straight away.
I usually start with the picture story book The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside (there’s a read along of it on youtube) to frame the conversation. It helps to set up the idea that the “worries” are real and are having an effect on the individual. Also that many people struggle to know how to deal with them and end up giving bad advice, often because they are carrying their own bag of worries. I also at this point remind them that we are unlikely to get rid off all the problems, eg I can’t cure your depression or rebuild your brain to make it neuro-typical, but we can make it so they are the only things in your bag making it a lot easier to carry.
Then I’ll talk about a Catastrophe Scale. This is where we take a worry and rank it on a scale out of 10 of how bad is it really. 1 is a minor problem that will go away on it’s own, and 10 is an extreme issue that will have a permanent impact on your life. Like in the book, many problems stop being an issue once you realize they are only a 1 or 2 on the scale. This is the “just get over it” point. Other’s need some attention but can easily be solved or passed on to someone else in your support network to handle, but once you’ve spent that small amount of energy, it’s gone. This is the where we see the value of another piece of despised advice, “stop worrying and just do it” or “have you tried going for a walk outside today”. Once again, often spouted advice by people who think of it as the only thing needed without understanding how it fits into a complete treatment plan.
Finally that just leaves the real problems, the ones that are less easy to deal with. But without having to carry the weight of the whole bag of worries, we now have a capacity to take those worries to therapy or a doctor to medicate etc, and just generally do the more difficult and complex work that’s needed.
Our “cheese” has a very mild flavor, overall, but melts thoroughly and very quickly, which is mainly what we use it for. This is why you find it on things like grilled cheese and cheeseburgers, but if you see a slice cold it’s a little extra sad, since you’re missing out on the one thing it’s actually good at.
“American cheese” usually means a processed sliced cheese made from melted cheese curds. It’s most often found in cheeseburgers, especially fast-food-style cheeseburgers.
Related cheeses include Midwestern brick cheese which is used in Detroit-style pizza, which is a whole lot tastier than any fast-food cheeseburger.
Yep. OP is a mega douchenozzle but sorting by new does in fact show a lot of porn. I simply have anything marked as nsfw not show the thumbnail. Problem solved.
Another solution if you don’t want to turn them off completely is either to:
Join an instance that has lemmynsfw and its alternatives blocked.
Or
Block them yourself, I don’t know how to do this on browser but if you use this site on mobile, the app “connect for lemmee” has an option to block all comments and posts from people of any instance you choose, which is a lot more effective than blocking communities separately.
Find a trade. If you’re good at what you do, it really doesn’t matter how wierd or fucked up you are. You can even get in full-on arguments with your boss that get forgotten about once everyone calms down.
Lost out on a good job opportunity with this one. I was going to do some interview prep and someone just told me to, “be yourself, they just want to get to know you.” Yeah bullshit… didn’t get that gig and did interview prep for a different opportunity. It went incredibly well the second time around.
As long-term career advice, I think this is helpful In finding something that doesn’t drag you down. If you can’t be yourself at work it’s going to be far more taxing.
But I absolutely understand this is a luxury to be able to be in that position of being choosy about your employer.
You’ll be far happier in an environment that enjoys you for being you, but you’ll find a job quicker by saying what they want to hear
I don’t want to see assholes with low IQ who cannot be bothered to look at the settings and documentation of the apps and websites they use and who’ll judge others based on his own preconceptions and biases.
– People choose to share nudes or go into porn for a very wide variety of reasons, and you should not be assuming anything about their self-esteem, dignity or self-worth, because you don’t know them or anything about them other than they chose a different lifestyle than yours.
It’s ok to not want to see it, you can turn it off in the setting or block the user/instance/domain that may be not properly tagging their adult content, but it is absolutely not ok to judge other users and insult them publicly just because you don’t like their lifestyle.
– People choose to share nudes or go into porn for a very wide variety of reasons, and you should not be assuming anything about their self-esteem, dignity or self-worth, because you don’t know them or anything about them other than they chose a different lifestyle than yours.
I have an entire friend group that shares nudes like it’s selfies because for us it’s just body parts like any other and we can admire the beauty of the human body. No feelings of vice or dirtiness involved whatsoever. I can go around seeing naked people and just appreciate the beauty without feeling dirty or even thinking about sexual intercourse and look respectfully. I feel comfortable being naked around my friends, I’ve been around friends literally hooking up next to me, it’s no big deal at all. I’m cute you’re cute, do you wanna sword fight? I’ll happily talk about my sexual life (within respect of privacy of course). I’ll talk you through your kitty issues and not think any differently. It’s healthy in my opinion.
IMO healthy porn exists, there’s a whole world between anti porn and hardcore fetish porn. I see nothing wrong with a casual pair of boobies or a dick.
Some people are indoctrinated by religion to feel like their body is dirty and needs to be hidden away, and feel shame to even think about sex or feel sexually stimulated by anyone but their spouse, and that’s okay if that’s their choice. And for some people it’s just normal life stuff. I personally think religion is harmful and worthless but I don’t go around calling people practicing it low life sheeps with no self worth or sexually frustrated closeted perverts.
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