I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

jeena,
@jeena@jemmy.jeena.net avatar

I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri's_fast

He apparently also only pooped every 2 months diabetes.co.uk/…/story-angus-barbieri-went-382-da…

SojournerWeaver,

You’re doing a medical study for money and you don’t like to poop in public places. That’s my guess.

squirrel_bear,

OP, there’s help available if you have OCD.

Jrussell,

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

andrr_464,

frrrrrr

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@vlemmy.net avatar

Update because I still get one or two comments in my inbox daily asking me about this thing.

Yes, I did succeed.

No, I’m not telling anyone what all of this was about.

I got constipated after the thing was over and made a post asking for help.

The promised picture of my porcelain throne: https://vlemmy.net/pictrs/image/a4c98c35-2653-4af6-921e-ffd7cae33035.webp

codyofficial,

You’re a lemmy legend.

Albinoss,

Lemgend.

Tankyiu,

What a time to be alive!

FizzOnMyJayce,

Update plz?

Jackolantern,

This is one of those threads that’s going go be legendary is it? Like the eating their own foot on early Reddit

MaybeItWorks,

I’m honestly pretty sure I’ve read this on reddit and it’s a repost. Trying to remember which sub I read it on. This is not the first time in the past few weeks that I’ve read a person mysteriously trying to avoid pooping for a few days.

That’s a weird early Lemmy comment on my part.

SmokesForBreakfast,

Poop is always popular. Poop is universal. Poop is fun. We all poop. Poop is guaranteed engagement. While I don’t mind a poop post here and there, I sure hope we won’t bring all of those obviously fake posts from Reddit over here.

redpen,
@redpen@lemmy.world avatar

How did it go?

thunderstruck,

What a post to kick off the reddit exodus

LittleYellowDigger,

And so it begins. This is where legends are made.

Mortalsub,

This is God-tier Meme master content, well done OP

n00b001,

Remember to bring the poo knife

evader_fateful,

It’s been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!

Please update when back!

codyofficial,

Sort comments by new to see his latest update.

baatliwala,

Wut

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • asklemmy@lemmy.ml
  • localhost
  • All magazines
    •
    Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #