I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Bone,

Someone’s gonna need a poop knife after day 3…

Snippet0136,

Steak and eggs, it’s what astronauts use to not shit for days. your body absorbs most of the material rather than excreting it. your looking for anything “low residue”.

Sleo,

If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he’s probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that’s coming in a few days.

Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It’s not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let’s just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.

In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren’t too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing… And it was all free!).

Eid Al Adha-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha?wp…

Hajj - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj?wprov=sfla1

Repost from: lemmy.ca/comment/549502

monkeytrench,

posting for posterity. what a way to start the lemmy journey. and godspeed to op, shine on you crazy diamond.

bahnburner,

Breast milk has very few undigestible solids. Just saying.

lavendedreams,

This is the weirdest fucking thing I’ve seen on the Internet in a long time.

leraje,
@leraje@lemmy.ml avatar

Are you being human trafficked?

Roggie,

first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.

INeedMana,
@INeedMana@lemmy.world avatar

I think, the point is, that this is the shit no-one has seen. It’s still hidden inside OP. Lurking

greatwhitebuffalo41,
@greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net avatar

I was thinking, “is this the thing? The first thing all the reddit people get to see coming to Lemmy? Is this history???”

But seriously, WTF

professor,

I’m honestly more curious about this than I was about any of the locked safes.

awkwardtheturtle,

fuck lemmy fuck you all im the real awkward the turtle fuck you /u/spez

BongRipsMcGee420,

Just bring a wheel of cheese as your only food. Nobody will find that strange...

PM_ME_FEET_PICS,

Avoid fiber like plague

Wirrvogel,

I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.

KeefChief12,

Just tell us the reason.

archomrade,

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you’ll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don’t poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it’s release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

nix,

This advice definitely fits OP’s specifications, but definitely worth stressing that if you only eat fruits and meats for a while you’re gonna have a BAD time when you do finally poop.

archomrade,

Yea, I mean generally I wouldn’t advise not pooping for 3 days, but who am I to question OP’s motivation 🤷‍♂️

uint8_t,

I would add to this a proper enema in the beginning to start from zero. that way 3 days are easy.

source: I was bedridden for over a week in a hospital. ate. did not poop.

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