I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

TheRex1209,

I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD

bedrooms,

Thank god, I thought OP was going to torture their spouse lmao

frequency,
@frequency@lemmy.world avatar

My first thought was going on another Titanic expedition in a sub.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm not a woman and I will have access to toilets. I just cannot let my myself poop for certain reasons.

dom,

Is it kinky sex stuff

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

I think it's vanilla sex stuff but as a marathon (I consider anal sex to be vanilla)

dom,

I dont know if I consider anal with 3 days worth of scat to be vanilla

ErraticDragon,
@ErraticDragon@kbin.social avatar

I assumed OP would be willing to say it it was "just" that. This being the Internet and all, people admit to way weirder stuff all the time.

When I was a Boy Scout, we often had kids who would refuse to go. It was a whole thing that we had to check on. (Along with asking everyone how yellow their pee was.)

I remember one guy was in tears on the hike out, and it turned out that he had faked out the scoutmaster by taking a walk with the TP and shovel, but not actually gone. Poor kid was barely able to walk, but kept insisting he couldn't void either.

I only learned later how serious it can get if prolonged.

4am,
@4am@lemmy.world avatar

Bro are you mailing yourself somewhere?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I wish I could mail myself out of this situation but nope.

MucherBucher,

Come on. The internet is kinda anonymous, you could tell us it's because it's your biggest kink and noone would bat an eye. If you don't tell in fear of IRL friends finding out... that's already gone anyways.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Heyy is it a situation you’re in voluntarily, you’ve been forced into it, or ‘voluntarily’ bc getting out of it would be more painful?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I wasn't forced and only two people know I'm holding my poop in. But they don't know what extents I'm willing to go to in order to achieve this.

adj16,

🤣

CanadaPlus,

This is exactly the sort of thing I'm guessing. Or stowing away.

Ciari,

Are you planning to film one of those "shipping myself in a box" videos? 😭

RickRussell_CA,
@RickRussell_CA@lemmy.world avatar

It's about preparation. Approximate gut motility for a healthy adult on a light diet is about 48-60 hours. So, stop eating 3 days before you leave, poop out all you possibly can before your 3 day period starts. Drink about 500ml water per day in the days leading up to the 3 day period. It wouldn't hurt to prep with a mild laxative to remove as much gut content as possible.

Once the timer starts, start eating small amounts only after the first day. For water, about 500ml per day. The good news is that what you pee out can't take much more space than the fresh water you drink.

This assumes you are relatively sedentary. If you perform manual labor during the 3 day period, you'll need to increase water intake, and possibly food intake, to avoid exhaustion.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks! I have exactly 3 days left so I'll get started right now.

MrComradeTaco,

An uncle died for not pooping for 3 days

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah, but whose uncle hasn’t?

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

My one pedo uncle got so constipated that the shit inside of him crushed his heart. Nobody was upset by it.

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

Enough fediverse for today, jeez.

TIN,

That sentence is a wild ride!

FleaCatcher,

How??

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

He was that bloated and full of shit.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm scared now WHAT

FrankTheHealer, (edited )

I dont think you can die from not pooping for 3 days. I go 3 days without pooping sometimes because my metabolism is slow as fuck.

A week or longer without pooping? Yeah might cause issues, but 3 days is fine

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Same here, did it when I was younger. Day 3 was rough but it was definitely doable.

person, (edited )
@person@feddit.de avatar

Nut Butters: Peanut or almond butter in small jars or packets. They are calorie-dense and can be eaten in small quantities.

Crackers: Plain crackers are low in fiber and can be filling.

Cheese: Hard cheeses like cheddar can be easy on the stomach and don’t require refrigeration for short periods.

Protein Bars: Opt for bars that are low in fiber.

Dried Meat: Such as beef jerky, can be a good source of protein.

Nuts and Seeds: In moderation, these can be good sources of energy.

Bottled Water: You’ll need to stay hydrated, but since you mentioned you can’t pee very often, drink just enough to not feel thirsty.

Electrolyte packets or tablets: To keep your electrolyte balance in check without consuming too much liquid.

Godspeed!

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks a lot! I'll go hunting for these as soon as the stores open for the day.

Granite,
@Granite@kbin.social avatar

Avoid foods with lots of fiber leading up to the trip! And then take lots of fiber after you’re home safely.

collegefurtrader,

I think David Blane talked about this on Hot Ones

Xanthrax,
@Xanthrax@lemmy.world avatar

Try asking the bottoms from the lgbtq+ communities.

norbert,
@norbert@kbin.social avatar

They'd just tell you to do an enema.

eulheim,
@eulheim@feddit.de avatar

I had a very good time reading this.

I’d recommend to throw some Loperamidhydrochlorid in the mix, not sure if you can find it in your pharmacy. When I’ve been too Music Festivals, we’ve always had some as an emergency, if the toilets would be clogged (which happened a lot).

Stay strong 👍🏻

Vex_Detrause,

Just be careful with these, if you overdo it you'll have constipation. Which is also dangerous when it lasts long.

Butt to add on the solution codeine or Tylenol#3 or narcotics can decrease motility which results in constipation.

techtask,

MREs. Particularly US MREs. You can eat em as much as you want and you won't have to go for a week.

Fear the end of the week, however

whenlifegivesyoureddit,

Glad I wasn't the only one to think ration packs. UK ones used to have similar effects

CanadaPlus, (edited )

Especially if you don't rehydrate them properly. That's where the reputation comes from at least partly.

Edit: Or so I hear.

sethboy66,

What US MRE requires rehydration? Retort pouches are universally used to carry wet rations, I thought the only hydration needed was for drink mixes like instant coffee and drink mixes.

CanadaPlus,

I'm actually just repeating what I've heard. I'll add a disclaimer.

That surprises me, though. It must add a lot of weight. The Canadian ones have dehydrated or partly dehydrated components.

copylefty,

I don't have any suggestions but would like to give my thanks for the quality content

Juliie,

Avoid fiber like a plague, already

So no to popular fruits and vegetables, no carrots, beets, strawberry, apples

Hmm but also it would be good to actually poop last day before hike so maybe take some pills for that day before for a huge splasshh bbbrrrr

When you return expect to give birth to a shitman

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I haven't eaten fibre for a while to prepare for this. I don't mind severe constipation but i just need to get through those 3 days without pooping. Also not going on a hike idk why everyone is assuming that. Anyways, thanks.

joakimcalais,

You’re gonna be on a sub right?

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

OP is probably a billionaire.

TheTeaMonster,

Yikes

swancheez,
@swancheez@lemmy.world avatar

Exactly where my mind went.

groggy,

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

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