I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Aurix,

This has to be a kink thing, one of the weirder ones. Holding a plug, not sweating, because it is not wished?

Else it is something illegal. Drug mule, crossing a border which would either make the drugs visible, or maybe another crime to not leave obvious DNA traces. No sweating to not look suspicious on control? Not much stuff to disguise the longer travel?

FrankTheHealer,

I’m leaning towards drug smuggling

No pooping so they don’t expel the drug packets that they have ingested. No sweating so they dont seem nervous. And less peeinhg since will be travelling, on planes, cars etc

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

No kinky stuff involved.

No drugs involved.

No breaking-the-law-in-any-other-way involved.

magiccupcake,

I don't believe you.

NichtElias,
@NichtElias@sh.itjust.works avatar

Can you tell us when you're done? This is already one of the most interesting posts on lemmy

Dave_r,

Cheese.

StarkillerX42,

Brie for the first day, then Camembert for the nicely aged flavor. Smell isn’t an issue, right?!?

voluntaryexilecat,

May I suggest to get a foldable potty instead? They are super light and the size of an original Gameboy when folded. Combined with plastic bags and silicapowder (do not eat) it will help you stay healthy instead of dehydrated and constipated. If amazon is not fast enough, check the nearest baby mart. If you are just shy, there are also foldable privacy shields (camping section) available to let you do your business with privacy.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Toilets are readily available where I'm going; I can't do it for... other reasons..

Guy_Fieris_Hair,

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

iturnedintoanewt,

Aw crap we are going to need silly lemmy awards soon.

MargotRobbie,
@MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/38056362-0f6c-49e2-bc4a-8477eaa8edf2.jpeg

whyNotSquirrel,

you definitely have something here and should get in touch with the devs !

imaqtpie,
@imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works avatar

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/7ce10417-a187-4fc8-9a77-14dd7b2b9e6d.png

dom,

This hit me in the nostalgia

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Please keep the awards this way

CookieMonster,
@CookieMonster@lemmy.world avatar

It all went downhill when they introduced actual silver. Probably earlier, but that's when the monetization spam started.

cly,

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

artaban,

there is no way this will be happen

BOB_DROP_TABLES,

This sounds like the beginning of great tifu post

TheShane,

I know I will. Now...

bionicjoey,

This could be our Jolly Rancher

Kyle,

Please refresh me on the jolly rancher story.

oshitwaddup,
@oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz avatar

If you google it you will find it, but you've been warned

erusuoyera,

No. Trust me, it's in your best interests.

goforliftoff,

I just hope OP doesn't break both arms while they're out doing... whatever it is they're going to be doing.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

After the self induced constipation, they'll need the poop knife for sure.

Canic,

Either that, or it’ll turn into a poop sword

someguy3,

I'm guessing you're going backcountry or to a festival of some kind. I sympathize but using an outhouse or potta potty isn't bad, it's just a mental block. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more when you do things normally.

olpappy,
@olpappy@mander.xyz avatar

A small bottle of olive oil. It’s very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.

TheShane,

In large quantities... It will make your bum like a sluice gate!

Girtablulu,
@Girtablulu@feddit.de avatar

can confirm, ain't fun

jwu,

Yeah, but olive oil is also a mild laxative.
www.healthline.com/…/olive-oil-for-constipation

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I can’t imagine myself consuming more than a spoonful of oil, any oil

kraiden,

Olive oil is actually delicious. Can't speak to using it for non-poopy reasons, but throw some in a bowl, add a splash of balsamic vinegar, sprinkle in some chunky rock salt, and dip the bougiest bread you can find in that shit! Delicious!

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Well yes I agree, olive oil + salt is a godly combination, I just can’t imagine gulping it down like it’s a Fanta

Jimmycrackcrack,

I think the consumption of only oily fat will cause a bit of a shitsplosion and probably sooner than 3 days in.

highduc,

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

flambonkscious,

With photos, preferably...

demonmariner,
@demonmariner@lemmy.one avatar

Or blow up in someone's face.

Skooshjones,
@Skooshjones@vlemmy.net avatar

I'm here too, this feels like the beginning of a Lemmy legend :)

Good luck and stay safe!

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

3 days without pooping are perfectly doable. I’ve done it before when I was younger

eyy, (edited )

I don't have anything to add, I'm just planting my flag here so I can say I was here at the beginnings of lemmylore.

Here, have a cat picture as an offering:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0f514a9d-58ee-4397-89ea-39be645fb45f.png

wizard_cat,
@wizard_cat@kbin.social avatar

Same, this thread is legendary

PupBiru,
@PupBiru@kbin.social avatar

… omg “stickers” 😍

qjkxbmwvz,

I was there, Gandalf.gif

hungryphrog,

I was here 𓆏

wampastompa,
@wampastompa@social.fossware.space avatar

me too ⛳️

kraiden,

I wuz heer

theolodger,

The cat tax has been paid.

dystop,
@dystop@lemmy.world avatar

Dude the submersible's gone, there isn't gonna be another trip down there. Get your $250,000 back and do something meaningful with your life.

B20bob,
@B20bob@lemmy.world avatar

Bro, I've been trying to figure out why this poor guy would possibly need to meet these requirements.. I think you nailed it on the head. lmao well played OP.

eyy,

You nearly made me spit out the water in my mouth. Thanks.

BurnedDonutHole,

Get anti diarrhea medicine, have electrolyte drinks in moderation.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Wouldn’t those give you constipation after you’ve finished though

baseless_discourse,

Eat laxative after, simple.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I just dk if it works like that

BurnedDonutHole,

His toilet schedule is not my problem. Joking aside laxatives will solve the issue or his own metabolism after a while.

ShakeThatYam,
@ShakeThatYam@lemmy.world avatar

Or legally prescribed opiates

BurnedDonutHole,

Since op is talking about walking and staying in a tent I’m guessing op will need all the mental and physical faculties working instead of being sedated.

yarr,
@yarr@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Taking bets:

  • Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
  • Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
  • Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
  • Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
  • Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
  • Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
  • Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
  • Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
  • Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
  • Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.
lowleveldata,
  • Just doing it for the sake of it because life is short

I'm betting on this one

666dollarfootlong,

My guess: Airsoft/paintball whatever MilSim operation.

Edit: OP is a sniper in said operation. Perhaps re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden?

Darorad,

I don't see bottoming on that list

mizu6079, (edited )
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Okay I'll give in a tiny bit only because this barely narrows it down: one of them is ridiculously close to what is actually the case. Like, I'm actually doing the thing you mentioned in the point, just your reasoning is wrong.

P.S.: The actual reasoning is borderline impossible for anyone to guess so just stop trying guys.

rackmountrambo,

You can poop in the shipping container dude, what are the people shoulder to shoulder to you going to do? Leave?

LufyCZ,

Just for readability, these are the options with reasoning:

  • Attending an event (festivalor convention)
  • Long journey, such as a cross-country trip (probably this one, as OP mentioned walking+travelling by train)
  • Reality TV Show / film
Sleo,

He’s probably out on the Hajj, they travel to some of the key points by train. The bathroom facilities are not ideal and that’s why he is asking for ways to trim down his poop times.

LufyCZ,

But he said that he’d make the whole trip twice and that he’d be able to poop the second time

Sleo,

As part of the hajj, the entire community travels to various points in and around the city. One of the points that’s only for a few days is in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside the official boundaries of the city of Makkah. When they are in the tent (it’s a fancy tent, air conditioned but with zero privacy with 20 other guys), the bathrooms there are communal, which in turn are not the cleanest in the world. Most of them are the eastern squatty potty style. Let’s just say not going there for a poop seems very tempting. The counter to it is, most of the food there is free, and it is really good… So it’s a very delicate balance to say the least.

This is all speculation on my part, given the timing of it. For all we know it could be some weird kinky camping thing the guy is into!

firipu,

Is it a sex thing? Please don't let it be a sex thing.

redonyo,

So much of what we do is horrible now a days. It would be nice if it was just a sex thing

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

Damn, I thought you were just an Amazon employee.

Butane,
@Butane@lemmy.world avatar

You are donating your poop for fecal implants.

CoolBeance,
@CoolBeance@lemmy.world avatar

You're going to a Burning Man-style event and you don't want to poop on June 25th because it's Anne Frank's birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to "Anne Frank" your poop for three days

eyy,

undefined> You’re going to a Burning Man-style event and you don’t want to poop on June 25th because it’s Anne Frank’s birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to “Anne Frank” your poop for three days

Congratulations, you're the first person in the world to use that sentence.

L3s, (edited )
@L3s@lemmy.world avatar

One of those scenarios + poop shy around S/O, S/O family, or friends is my guess.

Edit: also, cheese, lots of cheese.

Edit2: is this the new "found a safe"?

JesusTheCarpenter,

Why would he not want to say the reason though? If that was the case, the OP could just say he is a shy pooper. Instead we now suspect that this is some kind of orgy with a fetish.

LufyCZ,

They said that facilities would be everywhere "as normal".

Also, they said they'd be taking travelling, the same route twice, first time around they can't poop, second time they can.

L3s,
@L3s@lemmy.world avatar

Not sure how this goes against my theory?

whyNotSquirrel,

yeah, other people could move after day 3, allowing them to fume the tent

breakerfall,

This is amazing.

wildeaboutoskar,
@wildeaboutoskar@lemmy.world avatar

I would recommend against doing this because you will end up feeling awful. We poo for a reason. Please be careful.

That said, immodium and low strength codeine both bung you up- depending on where you live you may be able to get both from a pharmacy.

MeticulousBastard,

I'm pretty sure sometimes I poop for no reason.

downdaemon,
@downdaemon@lemmy.ml avatar

hahah ok this is good content

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