I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

AbyssalChord,
@AbyssalChord@feddit.de avatar

I‘ll just leave a comment to prove that I witnessed a Lemmy legend in the making.

hastadi,

internet passport is stamped

fatboy93,

I was there and I saw what you did, Saw it my own two eyes

CassowaryTom,

Alright, what the hell? I also was here.

ComatoseSquirrel,
@ComatoseSquirrel@lemmy.ml avatar

Sadly, I wasn’t here yet.

MapleSoda,
@MapleSoda@lemmy.ca avatar

Likewise! 🤣

llamatador,

Oh hell. Me too. Just to say I was there.

takeonme,

I was here too

clutch,

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/008351ac-1493-4c5d-a749-366c2f543851.jpeg

smallerdemon,

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/f46549dc-5bf9-4188-a142-35629aa585a0.png

amphy,
@amphy@lemmy.ca avatar

count me in lmfao

fade,
@fade@feddit.de avatar

Just leaving a comment to remember I was there when the 3 day no poop thing happened

XPost3000,

Same here

NichtElias,
@NichtElias@sh.itjust.works avatar

Can you tell us when you're done? This is already one of the most interesting posts on lemmy

theunfounded,

The only thing that makes sense to me is that they are flying, not checking a bag and therefore they are unable to bring their poop knife.

joshuaacasey,
@joshuaacasey@lemmy.world avatar

and there we have. a reddit meme has transcended reddit onto a higher plane of existence.

OMG_its_mustard,
@OMG_its_mustard@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

All I can think of is that OP is going to some kind of comic-con and has intricate body paint/an outfit that is so inconvenient to take on and off that they'd rather minimize their food and drinks for 3 days.

cobweb,
@cobweb@dataterm.digital avatar

my guess is they are either getting their butthole pierced or tattooed, but I know that OP won't confirm. THat's just my guess here. I really hope it's not something more gross than that, but I can't handle that.

bob,

do you need to stay in a tent for 5 days to get your butthole tattooed?

k_o_t,
@k_o_t@lemmy.ml avatar

no, but sometimes you’ll go to all kinds of far away and hard-to-access destinations to get a particular tattoo 🤷‍♀️

cobweb,
@cobweb@dataterm.digital avatar

I dunno, maybe? I've never had my butthole tattooed, I'm just making guesses here.

DrWeevilJammer,

That's too long. Who's your butthole tent piercing guy?

bob,

Oh, I'm embarrassed to say that I don't have one!

k_o_t,
@k_o_t@lemmy.ml avatar

this is the real answer hehe

silentdon,

This is why I joined lemmy.

risottinopazzesco,

Just poop as much as possible before leaving. For three days you can fast, it’s very much doable.

I was here when the 3 days without pooping post dropped.

DubiousInterests,

I would say try to poop just before you leave to and fast for an extra 24-48 hours beforehand too if they can manage.

joakimcalais,

You’re gonna be on a sub right?

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

OP is probably a billionaire.

TheTeaMonster,

Yikes

swancheez,
@swancheez@lemmy.world avatar

Exactly where my mind went.

4am,
@4am@lemmy.world avatar

Bro are you mailing yourself somewhere?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I wish I could mail myself out of this situation but nope.

MucherBucher,

Come on. The internet is kinda anonymous, you could tell us it's because it's your biggest kink and noone would bat an eye. If you don't tell in fear of IRL friends finding out... that's already gone anyways.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Heyy is it a situation you’re in voluntarily, you’ve been forced into it, or ‘voluntarily’ bc getting out of it would be more painful?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I wasn't forced and only two people know I'm holding my poop in. But they don't know what extents I'm willing to go to in order to achieve this.

adj16,

🤣

CanadaPlus,

This is exactly the sort of thing I'm guessing. Or stowing away.

lodion,
@lodion@aussie.zone avatar

https://aussie.zone/pictrs/image/5f11dac2-3539-4927-9b21-939f9d370713.jpeg

Seven,
@Seven@lemmy.world avatar

Its over, Lemmy is big enough to be its own thing now. This post proves it...

EuroNutellaMan,
@EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world avatar

OP I don't think this is what they meant when they said "don't be a party pooper"

xtremeownage,

In a survival situation, you can go a long time(weeks depending on how much body fat you have stored) without eating food. But- water is required.

Eating food, generally produces poop.

Vitamins, trail-mix, etc, can provide the required nutrients as well, while somewhat minimizing the amount of poop production.

Another note, it is possible to hold your poop for a very long time. Although, this can result in “Clogged pipes”, which you do NOT want.

gun,
@gun@lemmy.ml avatar

You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don’t want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

You left out fetish, phobia, paid orgy, trying to convince someone that you live on a diet of sunlight, and stranded in a submarine as potentials.

wildeaboutoskar,
@wildeaboutoskar@lemmy.world avatar

I would recommend against doing this because you will end up feeling awful. We poo for a reason. Please be careful.

That said, immodium and low strength codeine both bung you up- depending on where you live you may be able to get both from a pharmacy.

MeticulousBastard,

I'm pretty sure sometimes I poop for no reason.

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