I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

swancheez, 2 years ago

Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.

Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.

mizu6079, 2 years ago

I can tell you about the results but not why I'm doing this. Sorry!

tj111, 2 years ago

Just buy poo-pourri and take a poo my guy. N one will know.

sunaurus, 2 years ago

What I would do in this situation would be a 4-day fast. It's not for everybody, but you might want to at least consider it, because it's definitely doable, and some people even claim it's healthy (disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, don't take medical advice from random people on the internet).

To prepare, I would suggest switching to OMAD (one meal a day - effectively you will be fasting 23h every day) up until the trip. OMAD will help your body adjust to long periods of not eating. To be successful with OMAD, you need to ensure that your single meal will cover your daily calorie and nutrient needs. There's a bunch of resources about it online if you search.

Eat your last meal 48h before the trip - this will give you a chance to empty your bowels before you leave. Every day, make sure you drink enough electrolytes + take multivitamins. On the final day of your trip, it should be safe to have a SMALL meal (do not overdo it, you can hurt yourself by eating too much after a fast) - it should take your body over a full day before you'll need to poop.

How long do you have to prepare? Personally, when I first started doing OMAD, it took me over a month before my body became adjusted to fasting. But now, it just feels completely natural.

mizu6079, 2 years ago

I have only two days to prepare. I'll also have to walk around a lot during those three days so I don't think I'll be able to survive with only one meal.

Badass_panda, 2 years ago

If you need to walk around a lot, it'll be tougher to do it on am empty stomach, but not impossible. You have plenty of energy stores to last 3 days unless you're significantly underweight to start with.

You will not be able to eat your daily allowance of calories for three days and not need to poop during that time. It's just not a thing that's going to happen for you.

If you are determined to eat and not poop, eat protein bars, and take an anti diahrreal (e.g., Imodium). You won't poop, but day 4-5 will be awful.

Ropianos, 2 years ago

I'm not sure what "walk around a lot" means exactly but I've interpreted it as hiking and I'm fairly certain that you will have a very bad time when hiking for three days without ANY food.

And why do you think that you won't be able to consume enough calories without food? All kinds of drinks should have enough energy to sustain you, e.g. soft drinks, especially if you sweat and therefore drink more than 2l a day. In the worst case you can also just eat sugar.

mizu6079, 2 years ago

I'll walk to a certain place... Take a train to place 2... on and on until I return to my current location for a few days and can finally poop again before starting on the same journey again (but i can poop this time).

mizu6079, 2 years ago

I don't mind severe constipation as long as i don't have to poop for those three days. Thanks a lot.

patchw3rk, 2 years ago

I added your response to https://kbin.com/m/bestof and/or @bestof

BiaThemis, 2 years ago

Just a heads up, you are linking the wrong URL. It should be https://kbin.social/m/bestof instead of .com

jaeposten, 2 years ago

Sunflower seeds

mizu6079, 2 years ago

Thanks a lot. I'm not sure I can easily find them where I am right now but I'll try.

Edit: Wait... don't sunflower seeds contain fibres? Shouldn't that make it harder to hold poop in?

snipe_at, 2 years ago

i think the goal would be to eat the seed in the middle and not the husk

Kettlepants, 2 years ago

It won't be poop, it'll mostly be butter-style spread if that's all you're consuming. Wrapped up in a cellulose husk. Prepackaged for your convenience.

Vitaly_Chernobyl, 1 year ago

OP confirmed as drug mule

Dirty_Dan, 2 years ago

Can’t say I recommend it but if I were given this unique challenge I suppose I would try MREs. MRE meals are designed to have the nutrients needed for soldiers and not cause repeated bowl movements.

atlasraven31, 2 years ago

I can confirm. The peanut butter will seal up your butthole like super glue. Desert sand helps clog everything up.

Dazed_Confused, 2 years ago

And that's one reason why I hate sand...

evilsmurf, 1 year ago

Do they still have the little gum packets that open the pipes back up?

Sooperstition, 2 years ago

Everything about this is fantastic. This level of shitposting is exactly what the fediverse needs

ethane, 2 years ago

This level of shitposting? So... no-shit posting?

PeefJerky, 2 years ago

Oh I love the inline images!

archomrade, 1 year ago

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you’ll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don’t poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it’s release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

nix, 1 year ago

This advice definitely fits OP’s specifications, but definitely worth stressing that if you only eat fruits and meats for a while you’re gonna have a BAD time when you do finally poop.

archomrade, 1 year ago

Yea, I mean generally I wouldn’t advise not pooping for 3 days, but who am I to question OP’s motivation 🤷‍♂️

uint8_t, 1 year ago

I would add to this a proper enema in the beginning to start from zero. that way 3 days are easy.

source: I was bedridden for over a week in a hospital. ate. did not poop.

chunky, 1 year ago

Keep that sphincter clenched tight! You got this.

Peruvia, 2 years ago

First of all, I was having a nice day until I read this. But alas, here’s my two cents. Since you said you will be travelling, not eating will be a problem. Why? As other comments pointed out and as I went through this myself a few weeks ago(not intentionally, just financially dependent on irresponsible traumatised individuals who get to decide when/what/why I eat- I am working on it, don’t worry), not eating for extended amounts of time gets you weird cramps and liquid poop. You don’t want that, especially when you need to move. I don’t know the environment you will be in, but aim to eat a bit those days, processed solid foods will do. Cheese, eggs, bread(bagels),plain pasta(ALREADY BOILED) if available. Avoid sugar in fairly large quantities(dehydrating), coffee(obvs), fruits, even vegetables. Your body will hate you for this, so when it’s over please take it easy and eat&drink water properly. It’s good that you will be moving, hopefully not too intense activity(because you’d need to eat/drink water properly) as that will distract your brain from wanting to eat/drink water.(again, sauce: former retail worker, wasn’t done intentionally, I can’t stress this enough. It just sorta happens). Make sure that you at least sleep and rest properly, and as others have pointed out, this isn’t sustainable and not recommended by any means. Long term lack of nutrition fucks you up in ways I can’t even begin to describe, take that shit from me. In the offchance you tattoo your asshole(and that you are one who has that tentacle tattooed on the asshole and are having it re done/touched up), you can simply wash after you poop, you don’t have to go through this. Also you can try anti diuretic and anti liquid poop(for a lack of a better term) medicine. Looking foward for an update, hope you’ll be ok.

BurnedDonutHole, 2 years ago

Get anti diarrhea medicine, have electrolyte drinks in moderation.

SubArcticTundra, 2 years ago

Wouldn’t those give you constipation after you’ve finished though

baseless_discourse, 2 years ago

Eat laxative after, simple.

SubArcticTundra, 2 years ago

I just dk if it works like that

BurnedDonutHole, 2 years ago

His toilet schedule is not my problem. Joking aside laxatives will solve the issue or his own metabolism after a while.

ShakeThatYam, 2 years ago

Or legally prescribed opiates

BurnedDonutHole, 2 years ago

Since op is talking about walking and staying in a tent I’m guessing op will need all the mental and physical faculties working instead of being sedated.

MrComradeTaco, 2 years ago

An uncle died for not pooping for 3 days

Ghostalmedia, 2 years ago

Yeah, but whose uncle hasn’t?

LaunchesKayaks, 2 years ago

My one pedo uncle got so constipated that the shit inside of him crushed his heart. Nobody was upset by it.

victron, 2 years ago

Enough fediverse for today, jeez.

TIN, 2 years ago

That sentence is a wild ride!

FleaCatcher, 2 years ago

How??

LaunchesKayaks, 2 years ago

He was that bloated and full of shit.

mizu6079, 2 years ago

I'm scared now WHAT

FrankTheHealer, 2 years ago (edited 2 years ago)

I dont think you can die from not pooping for 3 days. I go 3 days without pooping sometimes because my metabolism is slow as fuck.

A week or longer without pooping? Yeah might cause issues, but 3 days is fine

SubArcticTundra, 2 years ago

Same here, did it when I was younger. Day 3 was rough but it was definitely doable.

WhoRoger, 2 years ago

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

mizu6079, 2 years ago

Thanks. I'll try to find some food like that tomorrow. I have only 3 days to prepare.

WhoRoger, 2 years ago

For real, ask on some aviation community or Reddit. You'll find real pilots with very specific experience.

My guess would still be beef jerky, plus it's light and doesn't spoil. Also I'd start asap, so you can still get empty before the "trip" and not have much inside left.

TheShane, 2 years ago

Reddit?

I'd that like Digg or Tumblr? Doesn't ring a bell...

Jimi_Hotsauce, 2 years ago

Reddit? damn near took it out for a nice dinner!

vegivamp, 2 years ago

There is something called low-residue diet, often needed before or after certain medical procedures. You might Google information on that.

Parsecale, 2 years ago

This person is for sure going to pack themselves onto a pallet for cheap LTL interstate transport or possibly descending to the Titanic in a questionable craft.

livus, 2 years ago

Downthread they say they will also do a lot of walking. It does sound like some sort of... "informal migration" scheme.

Adama, 2 years ago

For anybody doing this seriously be careful. High salt/protein and low water sounds like a recipe for all kinds of issues.

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

livus, 2 years ago

They should really drink oral rehydration salts instead of plain water.

Trebach, 2 years ago

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

And before that, you lose your balance, are vomiting and have diarrhea after you eat/drink something, and have seizures. Then your kidneys shut down.

The week in the hospital on IV fluids and dialysis recovering was not pleasant.

BasicWhiteGirl, 2 years ago (edited 2 years ago)

I just watched a movie(bad thriller) about hikers. They popped some pill before they started to climb to stop them from pooping. Wonder what it was and if pilots also take something besides just diet.

1st, 2 years ago

Probably Imodium. Most hikers keep it in their pack in case they get gerardia

benignintervention, 2 years ago

I was incapacitated by the shits in Toronto and Imodium locked that shit down

AkioDAccolade, 2 years ago

I wish Imodium worked on what I have right now. Been dumping straight liquid into the can every 25-30 mins for 7 days. I'm dying over here.

Doc says either norovirus or ecoli, Imodium does not touch it.

bigkahuna1986, 2 years ago

I ate some undercooked turkey and dumped for 2 days and just wanted to die at the end. 7 days seems unimaginable.

InEnduringGrowStrong, 2 years ago

7 days is a lot.
Try and stay hydrated, don't pass out, get well.

Quereller, 2 years ago

Cholera

apis, 1 year ago

If it is that bad then probably better out than in, but you may need to be on a drip to avoid dangerous dehydration, so keep your doctor updated. Hope you recover soon!

assclapcalamity, 2 years ago

*giardia

sectorfour, 2 years ago

*giardiniera

sethboy66, 2 years ago

*Ghirardelli

WheresYourShoe, 2 years ago

Thank you. I knew it was wrong, but it broke my brain and I couldn't think of the correct word, lol.

Roggie, 1 year ago

first day on lemmy, and this is the shit i see right off the bat. I found my reddit replacement.

INeedMana, 1 year ago

I think, the point is, that this is the shit no-one has seen. It’s still hidden inside OP. Lurking

greatwhitebuffalo41, 1 year ago

I was thinking, “is this the thing? The first thing all the reddit people get to see coming to Lemmy? Is this history???”

But seriously, WTF

person, 1 year ago

Sherlock emerges from the shadows of his contemplation, his penetrating gaze alight with a glimmer of the mind's razor-edged acuity, dancing over the hushed assembly.

"Ah, a conundrum indeed! But the game is afoot, my good fellows. Let us untangle this web of mystery step by step."

He begins to pace, his long fingers steepled in front of him, his sharp gaze distant.

"Firstly, we must examine the peculiar constraints Mizu has imposed upon himself. He wishes to abstain from the natural act of defecation for three days, intending to consume food that occupies minimal space, while also reducing perspiration. He will stay in a well-equipped tent, with access to adequate sanitation should the need arise, yet he insists he will resist such necessity."

He stops, turning sharply on his heel to face the crowd, the dramatic swish of his coat filling the silence.

"Despite these restrictions, Mizu explicitly denies embarking on a hiking trip or attempting to smuggle contraband. Yet he is engaged in a journey of some kind, returning to his place of origin before embarking on the same route again."

He taps his forehead lightly, his gaze thoughtful.

"The desire to limit perspiration indicates a need to control body odor and moisture - potentially to avoid detection or discomfort. The same logic may apply to his endeavor to restrict bowel movement. This points to a need to stay confined in a small, potentially shared, space for extended periods."

He turns away, pacing once more as he traces the threads of the narrative.

"His choice of diet - minimal and compact - suggests a limited ability to dispose of waste. This, coupled with the significant investment in a large, air-conditioned tent, speaks of a measure of affluence, yet a necessity to live in a manner that does not align with this status."

He spins around, eyes gleaming with realization.

"Consider the pattern of his journey. It is repeated, yet with a sojourn at his original location - a pause that allows for the resumption of normal bodily function."

He points at the crowd, his voice ringing out with certainty.

"Mizu, my dear audience, is not embarking on a mere trip. He is engaging in a performance, a role that demands these unusual conditions. But what performance could that be? Think, ladies and gentlemen, of an endeavor that requires one to remain in a compact, enclosed space for days, sharing it perhaps with others, yet intermittently returning to a home base."

His voice drops to a hush, his eyes intense.

"A role that demands a significant investment in a temporary abode but necessitates confinement in close quarters. A role where control of bodily functions and odors becomes vital. And what is that role, you ask?"

He raises his arms, his voice echoing dramatically in the silence.

"Mizu, ladies and gentlemen, is partaking in a competitive reality television show or a similar endeavor. A program that demands participants to live in close proximity, often in limited spaces like a train compartment or a shared tent. This necessitates careful control over body functions to minimize discomfort. The mid-journey return to his origin represents a break in the filming schedule, allowing him to revert to his normal physiological routines before starting the second leg of the journey."

He sweeps his arm out, his eyes twinkling with a triumphant gleam.

"There you have it, my dear fellows. A peculiar request, indeed, but quite understandable under the unforgiving lens of reality television. Not as mundane as a hiking trip, not as nefarious as smuggling, but every bit as demanding."

TokyoMonsterTrucker, 1 year ago

OK, CHATGPT, WE GET IT, YOU'RE CLEVER.

JK, well done

fragmentcity, 1 year ago

Hercule Poirot sat in his armchair, eyebrow raised as he read the peculiar Lemmy comment before him. His mustache twitched in amusement at the dramatic flair with which the analysis was presented. He admired the cleverness and relevance to the topic, but couldn't shake a feeling of familiarity, as if he'd encountered a similar style of writing before.

The detective leaned back, his mind busy with the details concerning the case brought to him by an anonymous client. The client had claimed that the comment was generated by an LLM, an algorithmic language model, and sought Poirot's expertise in evaluating the comment's authenticity. It was a clever observation, but Poirot wondered if such a deduction could truly be made based on the content alone.

With a thoughtful stroke of his mustache, Poirot dissected the essence of the comment. He noted the grandiose language, the crafted phrases, and the lack of personal touch. It seemed constructed solely to impress, rather than convey genuine insight.

Poirot's eyes scanned the room, landing on a shelf of books. He remembered a similar style of writing he'd come across in a novel written by a pretentious author. He retrieved the book, finding a passage that matched the tone of the Lemmy comment.

"Ah, mon ami," Poirot muttered, smiling wryly. "It seems our LLM has not proven as original or interesting as they would have us believe."

Poirot focused on the motive behind such an endeavor. Why would someone generate a comment that mimicked an author's style? Perhaps an aspiring writer sought attention or validation.

With a triumphant glint, Poirot concluded that the motive behind the LLM's imitation was simply a lack of creativity. The individual had chosen to emulate a well-known author's style, believing it would garner attention.

"It seems, mon ami, that even in writing, some are tempted to take shortcuts," Poirot mused, shaking his head. "But true brilliance lies not in imitation, but in the unique voice and perspective one brings to the table."

With that, Hercule Poirot closed the book and returned it to its place on the shelf. He had solved the case of the Lemmy comment, revealing it to be an uninspiring endeavor. Poirot hoped that the aspiring writer behind the LLM would find their own voice and path of genuine creativity.

falk1856, 1 year ago

Close, but not quite. No mention of “ze little grey cells”