I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

BoJack,
@BoJack@feddit.de avatar

I once survived 3 days without pooping at a festival. The secret was 15 liters of beer and ~ 9 cans of ravioli. But I peed A LOT.

Discoslugs,
@Discoslugs@lemmy.world avatar

9 cans of ravioli.

Ouch

Nommer,

No one wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli.

DovahFiST,

But I did, and I'm ashamed of myself.

Browning,

... Like a horse?

oldfart,

Larger amounts of beer have a laxative effect, at least on me. Hey Lemmy, who's the odd one, me or BoJack?

Sagittary,

Yeah but your friend Ricky will eat those 9 cans of ravioli before you know it

Moonwalk,
@Moonwalk@lemm.ee avatar

Just adding a comment so people will believe me when I tell them I was here when the "3 days without pooping" post happened :)

Good luck on your journey, OP!

IAm_A_Complete_Idiot,

I was here! :D

Tai,
@Tai@lemm.ee avatar

Obligatory "I was here" from me too

riccardo,

same :)

Thedogspaw,
@Thedogspaw@midwest.social avatar

This is the shit posting I like to see

Leap,

Oh my God, I have so many questions.

Crabhands,
@Crabhands@lemmy.ml avatar

Ok i avoided replying to this for long enough. Based on your requirements, I’m making the following recommendations:

  • Nutrient-rich meal replacement bars: These bars are designed to provide a balanced mix of macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein, and fat) and essential vitamins and minerals. They are often fortified to meet nutritional needs, making them a convenient and space-saving option. However, they should not be relied upon as the sole source of nutrition for an extended period of time.
  • Dried fruits and nuts: Dried fruits are a concentrated source of natural sugars, fiber, and some essential nutrients. They provide energy and can help satisfy hunger. Nuts, on the other hand, are a good source of healthy fats, protein, and fiber. They offer satiety and provide a range of beneficial nutrients.
  • Jerky: Jerky, typically made from lean meats, is a good source of protein and can provide energy. It is compact, lightweight, and doesn’t require refrigeration. Be mindful of the sodium content.
  • Meal replacement shakes: These shakes are formulated to provide a balance of macronutrients and essential micronutrients. They often contain protein, carbohydrates, healthy fats, and a blend of vitamins and minerals. They are easy to consume and require minimal preparation.
  • Energy gels: Energy gels are designed to provide quick energy in the form of simple carbohydrates. They are often used by athletes during intense physical activities. While they offer a rapid energy boost, they do not provide substantial nutrients beyond carbohydrates.
mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I've packed the first three you mentioned 👍 Thanks a lot for the reply!

Rogue_General,
@Rogue_General@lemmy.world avatar

Glad you got an actual reply, but your post is unexpectedly funny at first read. This is definitely going in the Lemmy hall of fame whether you like it or not - congrats!

ComeScoglio,

Some dried fruits are notoriously good for helping bowel movement, though, just be aware.

flint5436,

Aren't some dried fruit laxative? Ate a bag of dates once, and boy did I have to run to the shitter.

dakerDraws,
@dakerDraws@pawb.social avatar

I think there's one important question we haven't covered yet. Do you also need to limit the amount you fart?

Because that could affect food choice. Or is that not a factor and you'll be able to discretely let loose somewhere?

brav0zulu,
@brav0zulu@midwest.social avatar

I didn’t see this answer, so sorry if it’s been said, but just don’t eat. It’s three days, after all. Incidentally I’ve read that if you ate solely what your body needed to survive, it would take 20-40 days to even build up enough waste to have to poop.

Wreckronomicon,

This might cause a different problem...runny shit and then they'll have no choice but to poop.

Stalinwolf,
@Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca avatar

Holy shit. Alright, so naturally I have to ask if it's possible to eat just what you need to survive and still remain somewhat healthy. Or are you slowly withering at this point? What's the middle-ground here? How long can a person survive on just the bare minimum before their body becomes too weak?

Crackhappy,
@Crackhappy@lemmy.world avatar

This is absolutely correct. You can survive just fine for three days with no food. You'll be tired and cranky but alive.

dekatron,

Guess you're visiting the Titanic shipwreck in a submarine...

Knusbiegel,

Did you sign an NDA?

Ciari,

Are you planning to film one of those "shipping myself in a box" videos? 😭

TheRex1209,

I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD

bedrooms,

Thank god, I thought OP was going to torture their spouse lmao

frequency,
@frequency@lemmy.world avatar

My first thought was going on another Titanic expedition in a sub.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm not a woman and I will have access to toilets. I just cannot let my myself poop for certain reasons.

dom,

Is it kinky sex stuff

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

I think it's vanilla sex stuff but as a marathon (I consider anal sex to be vanilla)

dom,

I dont know if I consider anal with 3 days worth of scat to be vanilla

ErraticDragon,
@ErraticDragon@kbin.social avatar

I assumed OP would be willing to say it it was "just" that. This being the Internet and all, people admit to way weirder stuff all the time.

When I was a Boy Scout, we often had kids who would refuse to go. It was a whole thing that we had to check on. (Along with asking everyone how yellow their pee was.)

I remember one guy was in tears on the hike out, and it turned out that he had faked out the scoutmaster by taking a walk with the TP and shovel, but not actually gone. Poor kid was barely able to walk, but kept insisting he couldn't void either.

I only learned later how serious it can get if prolonged.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I miscalculated. The poopless days begin tomorrow, not today. About 28 hours left.

Spidertax,

Are you trying to build up a giga shit, so you can clog your nemesis’s toilet?

Cloak,
@Cloak@lemmy.ml avatar

Thanks for the update

rockmeat,

will you keep us posted on how it's going?

headlesscyborg,
@headlesscyborg@lemmy.ml avatar

Since you added the hours left, the whole (not-)pooping thing sounds way more serious now. Damn, maybe if you added some countdown timer, I’d stop laughing.

Spoiler: I won’t

Badkid,

The forbidden poop saga continues...

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Currently sitting on the toilet. Taking my last shit. 12 hours and 33 minutes left.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

It’s not working.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Is this what giving birth feels like?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Help.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I’m looking up at the ceiling, my mouth open in a silent scream of rage and desperation. Cords stand out on my neck as every neuron in my brain wills that stubborn piece of poop to pass through my hole. My phone is in my hand, playing this video on loop. Yet, the fecal brick resists. It is not showing any signs of giving in. However, I am determined to clear myself out before the three-day period starts. I am not giving up.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I gave up. I forced it so hard it almost made me throw up. I’m going to bed.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Attempt 2 at taking my last shit.

UPDATE: I failed again.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

UPDATE: I HAVE OFFICIALLY SHITTEN MY LAST SHIT!

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

The shitless period has begun.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Day 1 of not shitting started 4 hours ago, but it’s time for the real journey to start. Goodbye my friends. Wish me luck.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Day 1 is over. I have not shitten.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Very bad situation can’t focus on grammar and stuff but i almost shat only forced myself not to becoz cant disappoint lemmings anyways bye now that’s the day two update

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

3 DAYS OVER I MADE IT LESGOO

oxideSeven,
@oxideSeven@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.

unomas,

someone should create a badge to mark this special occasion. "I was here for the famous poop post of 2023"

JesusTheCarpenter,

!RemindMe 7 days

kresten,

I'm sure it's coming at some point, we'll just need more fleshed out bot APIs

rainfern,

:'|

PotjiePig,

VeryLostRedditors

FleaCatcher,

For Jesus, I'll set-up an alarm on my phone.

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