I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

totally1995,

thank you lemmy for this gift

Leap,

Oh my God, I have so many questions.

zoriel,

Happy i switched over to lemmy in time to whitness this

bec,
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m just glad I’m here to witness this lol

Anyways, wouldn’t a liquid meal replacement do the trick? Something like Huel?

unhearing,

Doesn't huel have lots of fibers that will be excreted?

bec,
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

Just checked and it says it has 7g fiber per serving. Don’t know if it’s too much, honestly. Jusy thought that since it’s liquid it would be making less waste!

Kinga,

Huel is quite infamous for having lots of fiber and causing absolute monster shits before you get used to it. Like it really makes you go every few hours on top of the shits being just extra nasty

bec, (edited )
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

Didn’t know lol as I said I assumed that a liquid diet would help, guess I was very wrong lol

edit: maybe there are other similar meal replacements that have not as much fiber? If that’s the only downside. I suggested Huel because I don’t know of any other

Truth is, I challenged OP to this poopless challenge and I was trying to undermine their effort, but don’t snitch on me

elpinko,
@elpinko@lemmy.ml avatar

so this is where Lemmys lore began

fade,
@fade@feddit.de avatar

Just leaving a comment to remember I was there when the 3 day no poop thing happened

XPost3000,

Same here

Seven,
@Seven@lemmy.world avatar

Its over, Lemmy is big enough to be its own thing now. This post proves it...

zelifcam,
@zelifcam@lemmy.world avatar

stop asking

Proceeds to then write a detailed timeline of the events that will occur. Either this is a joke or someone needs to be talked too by an adult and explained how the human body works.

Hey OP! Food In == Food Out

There’s no way around it.

sussy_gussy,

You can hold it in for a while and if you eat less food but with more energy per volume, you can eat less -> poop less and still get enough energy.

smstnitc,

Define "illegal". Like, marijuana is legal for recreational use in my state. I'm looking forward to some edibles when I get home, hahah

ComeScoglio,

That doesn't stop you from pooping though. Oh no... I'm too new to Lemmy for this to be one of my first comments...

Crabhands,
@Crabhands@lemmy.ml avatar

Ok i avoided replying to this for long enough. Based on your requirements, I’m making the following recommendations:

  • Nutrient-rich meal replacement bars: These bars are designed to provide a balanced mix of macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein, and fat) and essential vitamins and minerals. They are often fortified to meet nutritional needs, making them a convenient and space-saving option. However, they should not be relied upon as the sole source of nutrition for an extended period of time.
  • Dried fruits and nuts: Dried fruits are a concentrated source of natural sugars, fiber, and some essential nutrients. They provide energy and can help satisfy hunger. Nuts, on the other hand, are a good source of healthy fats, protein, and fiber. They offer satiety and provide a range of beneficial nutrients.
  • Jerky: Jerky, typically made from lean meats, is a good source of protein and can provide energy. It is compact, lightweight, and doesn’t require refrigeration. Be mindful of the sodium content.
  • Meal replacement shakes: These shakes are formulated to provide a balance of macronutrients and essential micronutrients. They often contain protein, carbohydrates, healthy fats, and a blend of vitamins and minerals. They are easy to consume and require minimal preparation.
  • Energy gels: Energy gels are designed to provide quick energy in the form of simple carbohydrates. They are often used by athletes during intense physical activities. While they offer a rapid energy boost, they do not provide substantial nutrients beyond carbohydrates.
mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I've packed the first three you mentioned 👍 Thanks a lot for the reply!

Rogue_General,
@Rogue_General@lemmy.world avatar

Glad you got an actual reply, but your post is unexpectedly funny at first read. This is definitely going in the Lemmy hall of fame whether you like it or not - congrats!

ComeScoglio,

Some dried fruits are notoriously good for helping bowel movement, though, just be aware.

flint5436,

Aren't some dried fruit laxative? Ate a bag of dates once, and boy did I have to run to the shitter.

AlmightySnoo,
@AlmightySnoo@lemmy.world avatar

Just keep pushing it back inside when it tries to come out.

nx2,

Premium comment.

moreeni,

Why push it? You can just glue your ass, think smarter, not harder

confetti_8tVST5,

Really feels like home y'know

Smoogs,

It’s ok. He/she/them will understand that people do poop. They aren’t worth it if they can’t Accept this

JWBananas,
@JWBananas@kbin.social avatar

You're gonna need a bigger knife

DuckMaster17,
@DuckMaster17@lemmy.world avatar

Nothing screams comedy quite like a man refusing to shit for three days.

j4k3,
@j4k3@lemmy.world avatar

Or failing

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