I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

vriska,
@vriska@l.60228.dev avatar

8/10 with rice

olpappy,
@olpappy@mander.xyz avatar

A small bottle of olive oil. It’s very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.

TheShane,

In large quantities... It will make your bum like a sluice gate!

Girtablulu,
@Girtablulu@feddit.de avatar

can confirm, ain't fun

jwu,

Yeah, but olive oil is also a mild laxative.
www.healthline.com/…/olive-oil-for-constipation

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I can’t imagine myself consuming more than a spoonful of oil, any oil

kraiden,

Olive oil is actually delicious. Can't speak to using it for non-poopy reasons, but throw some in a bowl, add a splash of balsamic vinegar, sprinkle in some chunky rock salt, and dip the bougiest bread you can find in that shit! Delicious!

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Well yes I agree, olive oil + salt is a godly combination, I just can’t imagine gulping it down like it’s a Fanta

Jimmycrackcrack,

I think the consumption of only oily fat will cause a bit of a shitsplosion and probably sooner than 3 days in.

dRLY,
@dRLY@lemmy.ml avatar

This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!

WhoRoger,
@WhoRoger@lemmy.world avatar

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks. I'll try to find some food like that tomorrow. I have only 3 days to prepare.

WhoRoger,
@WhoRoger@lemmy.world avatar

For real, ask on some aviation community or Reddit. You'll find real pilots with very specific experience.

My guess would still be beef jerky, plus it's light and doesn't spoil. Also I'd start asap, so you can still get empty before the "trip" and not have much inside left.

TheShane,

Reddit?

I'd that like Digg or Tumblr? Doesn't ring a bell...

Jimi_Hotsauce,

Reddit? damn near took it out for a nice dinner!

vegivamp,
@vegivamp@feddit.nl avatar

There is something called low-residue diet, often needed before or after certain medical procedures. You might Google information on that.

Parsecale,
@Parsecale@kbin.social avatar

This person is for sure going to pack themselves onto a pallet for cheap LTL interstate transport or possibly descending to the Titanic in a questionable craft.

livus,
@livus@kbin.social avatar

Downthread they say they will also do a lot of walking. It does sound like some sort of... "informal migration" scheme.

Adama,

For anybody doing this seriously be careful. High salt/protein and low water sounds like a recipe for all kinds of issues.

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

livus,
@livus@kbin.social avatar

They should really drink oral rehydration salts instead of plain water.

Trebach,

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

And before that, you lose your balance, are vomiting and have diarrhea after you eat/drink something, and have seizures. Then your kidneys shut down.

The week in the hospital on IV fluids and dialysis recovering was not pleasant.

BasicWhiteGirl, (edited )
@BasicWhiteGirl@kbin.social avatar

I just watched a movie(bad thriller) about hikers. They popped some pill before they started to climb to stop them from pooping. Wonder what it was and if pilots also take something besides just diet.

1st,

Probably Imodium. Most hikers keep it in their pack in case they get gerardia

benignintervention,

I was incapacitated by the shits in Toronto and Imodium locked that shit down

AkioDAccolade,

I wish Imodium worked on what I have right now. Been dumping straight liquid into the can every 25-30 mins for 7 days. I'm dying over here.

Doc says either norovirus or ecoli, Imodium does not touch it.

bigkahuna1986,

I ate some undercooked turkey and dumped for 2 days and just wanted to die at the end. 7 days seems unimaginable.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

7 days is a lot.
Try and stay hydrated, don't pass out, get well.

Quereller,
@Quereller@kbin.social avatar

Cholera

apis,
@apis@kbin.social avatar

If it is that bad then probably better out than in, but you may need to be on a drip to avoid dangerous dehydration, so keep your doctor updated. Hope you recover soon!

assclapcalamity,

*giardia

sectorfour,
@sectorfour@kbin.social avatar

*giardiniera

sethboy66,

*Ghirardelli

WheresYourShoe,

Thank you. I knew it was wrong, but it broke my brain and I couldn't think of the correct word, lol.

UnmeltedByRain,
@UnmeltedByRain@lemmy.world avatar

Immodium AD should help stop you up. (I'm not a doctor.)

chunky,
@chunky@lemmy.world avatar

Keep that sphincter clenched tight! You got this.

KeavesSharpi,

I love that this is the flagship viral post for the new popular Lemmy. At this point, OP’s reason for not pooping is tertiary to the entertainment! Also, I’m pretty sure it’s just social anxiety.

snek_boi,

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you’re okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I’m not sure that’s the case, for what it’s worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I've replied to quite a few people and I'm going to bed now.

I'll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

Wish me luck.

4am,
@4am@lemmy.world avatar

Remember: No vid, no did

(but seriously good luck and please don't hurt/injure yourself my friend. Godspeed!)

Feo,

Godspeed op. May your cheeks remain pristine.

Tagger,

Do we have remind me set up yet?

heartlessevil,

This is the first post on lemmy I've bookmarked, congrats

Vex_Detrause,

Please don't overthink it. You might get more urge to go when your trying not to poop. You got this! Please update us.

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

CAPSLOCKFTW,

NOSHITGANG

Wrrzag,
@Wrrzag@lemmy.ml avatar

I don’t have anything to add, I just wanna be part of this.

admin,

Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.

Plasma,
@Plasma@lemmy.ml avatar

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/bd727868-3c8f-4087-8024-773e02fed151.jpeg

assassinatedbyCIA,

The important first step is preparation. You need to clean the pipes. There should be nothing left inside you before you commence on the trip. So take some laxatives and do some cleaning. After you’re thoroughly pristine you must only consume a clear liquid diet, so clear juices and soft drinks (make sure you consume the full sugar version because that’s how you’ll get your energy). Take a multivitamin each day. On the second or third day take an Imodium, this is likely overkill but you won’t poop. Return to a normal diet on the third day but do so gradually over the course of a day or two. I cannot guarantee that this method will not damage your health and the risk will likely be greater if you have other health conditions, but you wont poop sooo.

ZcaT,
@ZcaT@lemmy.world avatar

Lemmy history!

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • asklemmy@lemmy.ml
  • localhost
  • All magazines
    •
    Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #