I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

morva,

hold it in

BoJack,
@BoJack@feddit.de avatar

I once survived 3 days without pooping at a festival. The secret was 15 liters of beer and ~ 9 cans of ravioli. But I peed A LOT.

Discoslugs,
@Discoslugs@lemmy.world avatar

9 cans of ravioli.

Ouch

Nommer,

No one wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli.

DovahFiST,

But I did, and I'm ashamed of myself.

Browning,

... Like a horse?

oldfart,

Larger amounts of beer have a laxative effect, at least on me. Hey Lemmy, who's the odd one, me or BoJack?

Sagittary,

Yeah but your friend Ricky will eat those 9 cans of ravioli before you know it

hemko,

I was here

RomanRoy,
@RomanRoy@lemmy.world avatar

I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.

zelifcam,
@zelifcam@lemmy.world avatar

stop asking

Proceeds to then write a detailed timeline of the events that will occur. Either this is a joke or someone needs to be talked too by an adult and explained how the human body works.

Hey OP! Food In == Food Out

There’s no way around it.

sussy_gussy,

You can hold it in for a while and if you eat less food but with more energy per volume, you can eat less -> poop less and still get enough energy.

sarchar,

Fast. Seriously. Drink just enough water to stay hydrated. Avoid diuretics like coffee and alcohol.

super_user_do,
@super_user_do@feddit.it avatar

Me surviving 1week without pooping

EuroNutellaMan,
@EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world avatar

OP I don't think this is what they meant when they said "don't be a party pooper"

Tarkcanis,

The only real answer is Pemmican.

evilsmurf,

Humane pemmican?

xtremeownage,

In a survival situation, you can go a long time(weeks depending on how much body fat you have stored) without eating food. But- water is required.

Eating food, generally produces poop.

Vitamins, trail-mix, etc, can provide the required nutrients as well, while somewhat minimizing the amount of poop production.

Another note, it is possible to hold your poop for a very long time. Although, this can result in “Clogged pipes”, which you do NOT want.

Peruvia,
@Peruvia@lemmy.ml avatar

First of all, I was having a nice day until I read this. But alas, here’s my two cents. Since you said you will be travelling, not eating will be a problem. Why? As other comments pointed out and as I went through this myself a few weeks ago(not intentionally, just financially dependent on irresponsible traumatised individuals who get to decide when/what/why I eat- I am working on it, don’t worry), not eating for extended amounts of time gets you weird cramps and liquid poop. You don’t want that, especially when you need to move. I don’t know the environment you will be in, but aim to eat a bit those days, processed solid foods will do. Cheese, eggs, bread(bagels),plain pasta(ALREADY BOILED) if available. Avoid sugar in fairly large quantities(dehydrating), coffee(obvs), fruits, even vegetables. Your body will hate you for this, so when it’s over please take it easy and eat&drink water properly. It’s good that you will be moving, hopefully not too intense activity(because you’d need to eat/drink water properly) as that will distract your brain from wanting to eat/drink water.(again, sauce: former retail worker, wasn’t done intentionally, I can’t stress this enough. It just sorta happens). Make sure that you at least sleep and rest properly, and as others have pointed out, this isn’t sustainable and not recommended by any means. Long term lack of nutrition fucks you up in ways I can’t even begin to describe, take that shit from me. In the offchance you tattoo your asshole(and that you are one who has that tentacle tattooed on the asshole and are having it re done/touched up), you can simply wash after you poop, you don’t have to go through this. Also you can try anti diuretic and anti liquid poop(for a lack of a better term) medicine. Looking foward for an update, hope you’ll be ok.

Liempong_pagong,
@Liempong_pagong@lemmy.ml avatar

Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it’s like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he’s serious and frantic.

dakerDraws,
@dakerDraws@pawb.social avatar

I think there's one important question we haven't covered yet. Do you also need to limit the amount you fart?

Because that could affect food choice. Or is that not a factor and you'll be able to discretely let loose somewhere?

Ghona76,

Everything about this post is weird and hilarious.

cobweb,
@cobweb@dataterm.digital avatar

my guess is they are either getting their butthole pierced or tattooed, but I know that OP won't confirm. THat's just my guess here. I really hope it's not something more gross than that, but I can't handle that.

bob,

do you need to stay in a tent for 5 days to get your butthole tattooed?

k_o_t,
@k_o_t@lemmy.ml avatar

no, but sometimes you’ll go to all kinds of far away and hard-to-access destinations to get a particular tattoo 🤷‍♀️

cobweb,
@cobweb@dataterm.digital avatar

I dunno, maybe? I've never had my butthole tattooed, I'm just making guesses here.

DrWeevilJammer,

That's too long. Who's your butthole tent piercing guy?

bob,

Oh, I'm embarrassed to say that I don't have one!

k_o_t,
@k_o_t@lemmy.ml avatar

this is the real answer hehe

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • asklemmy@lemmy.ml
  • localhost
  • All magazines
    •
    Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #