I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

silentdon,

This is why I joined lemmy.

Xaxetrov,

I was there.

GratefullyGodless,
@GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world avatar

I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

HerrLewakaas,
@HerrLewakaas@lemmy.world avatar

This is the perfect comment, I laughed so hard

Knusbiegel,

Did you sign an NDA?

Gobidev,

Wat

nihilomaster,

Just don’t eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

It's okay.

I'll poop for your share too, friend.

Pili,

I'm so happy I can be a part of this historical moment.

gsa32,

I was here

Gradually_Adjusting,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

We've all had our in-jokes, but holding-it-in-jokes? That's deucedly clever.

eyy,

You have some real talent there, don't let it go to waste.

_haha_oh_wow_,
@_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works avatar

Not to worry, they already started a movement.

Xathonn,
@Xathonn@kbin.social avatar

I was here

lewosadebu,

Not sure if this is a troll post...

But in case not, in my experience black chocolate and banana helps in these kind of situations...

And don't drink apple or grape juice, or the opposite will happen 🙃

indomara,

This whole thread is hilarious, especially because I regularly go 5-7 days. Longer if I am traveling. I even take fiber!

I recently had to do the bowel screen and because I go so long between samples I had to get special forms and submit each sample individually, lol.

lewosadebu,

Hey anything from once a week to three days a day is "normal" 😉

Gwyntale,

Have you ever considered how much of your body weight at any given time is poop?

indomara,

No, but I did once read that the length of human intestines can vary anywhere from 3-7 meters, so it stands to reason that some people are just slower to process things.

eyy,

This whole thread is hilarious, especially because I regularly go 5-7 days. Longer if I am traveling. I even take fiber!

That sounds unlikely, you must be full of shit.

If it's true, well... you must be full of shit.

baseless_discourse,

It depends on the diet, I grow up with a diet that is high on oil, chilli, and veggie, I had no problem pooping everyday.

Then I went to college, the only veggies I can find are overcooked broccoli or cold iceberg lettuce. I can easily go a week without pooping, since my digestive system is just not used to these kind of diet.

Obviously it is extremely uncomfortable to go weeks without pooping. I would prefer to poop like normal, but I cannot find the diet I am used to in college.

oxideSeven,
@oxideSeven@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.

MicrosoftSam,

Okay but why?

breadsmasher,
@breadsmasher@lemmy.world avatar

Stuck in a submarine without a proper toilet

D3F4U1T_ARS,
@D3F4U1T_ARS@lemmy.world avatar

LMFAO XD

Gradually_Adjusting,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

I hope nobody ever finds out

Pellotto,

I was here for it.

PeefJerky,
@PeefJerky@lemmy.ml avatar
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