I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

PolandIsAStateOfMind,
@PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml avatar

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

JesusTheCarpenter,

That is not overtime, it is during normal working hours.

achooie,

Try US MREs but skip the coffee, per 4chan

bartlebee,

https://infosec.pub/pictrs/image/f634e684-b824-473d-b403-a9a015f55ca1.jpeg``

palarith,

It’s called a low residue diet badgut.org/…/low-residue-diet/

candyman337,
@candyman337@lemmy.world avatar

Jesus wtf lol, this is one of those posts that's going to become a copypasta

Linebeck,

This is the kind of content we need, glorious

freshzombie,
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

Bye,

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

thesilencenoise,

If I could give this comment an award, I would.

FleaCatcher,

You can say "nice dick" you know, it counts.

tfpc,

Nice cock bro.

TheDudeV2,

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

MrDude,

Eat carbs, drink Gatorade or Powerade and poop before hand. Bro whatever you're doing I expect an update post!

JesusTheCarpenter,

!RemindMe 7 days

kresten,

I'm sure it's coming at some point, we'll just need more fleshed out bot APIs

rainfern,

:'|

PotjiePig,

VeryLostRedditors

FleaCatcher,

For Jesus, I'll set-up an alarm on my phone.

abcd,

This is the content I was waiting for! I’ve read this while sitting on my throne 😂😂😂💩

ChrislyBear,

+1

the_kgb,

+#2

unomas,

someone should create a badge to mark this special occasion. "I was here for the famous poop post of 2023"

ChrislyBear,

I was here for the poop post of 2023!

FarFarAway,

Have you considered something that causes constipation? Immodium, cheese, Blended up guava seeds...

Bayblade,

Would love an update haha

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Update: haven't pooped yet

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