I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

xtremeownage,

In a survival situation, you can go a long time(weeks depending on how much body fat you have stored) without eating food. But- water is required.

Eating food, generally produces poop.

Vitamins, trail-mix, etc, can provide the required nutrients as well, while somewhat minimizing the amount of poop production.

Another note, it is possible to hold your poop for a very long time. Although, this can result in “Clogged pipes”, which you do NOT want.

Peruvia,
@Peruvia@lemmy.ml avatar

First of all, I was having a nice day until I read this. But alas, here’s my two cents. Since you said you will be travelling, not eating will be a problem. Why? As other comments pointed out and as I went through this myself a few weeks ago(not intentionally, just financially dependent on irresponsible traumatised individuals who get to decide when/what/why I eat- I am working on it, don’t worry), not eating for extended amounts of time gets you weird cramps and liquid poop. You don’t want that, especially when you need to move. I don’t know the environment you will be in, but aim to eat a bit those days, processed solid foods will do. Cheese, eggs, bread(bagels),plain pasta(ALREADY BOILED) if available. Avoid sugar in fairly large quantities(dehydrating), coffee(obvs), fruits, even vegetables. Your body will hate you for this, so when it’s over please take it easy and eat&drink water properly. It’s good that you will be moving, hopefully not too intense activity(because you’d need to eat/drink water properly) as that will distract your brain from wanting to eat/drink water.(again, sauce: former retail worker, wasn’t done intentionally, I can’t stress this enough. It just sorta happens). Make sure that you at least sleep and rest properly, and as others have pointed out, this isn’t sustainable and not recommended by any means. Long term lack of nutrition fucks you up in ways I can’t even begin to describe, take that shit from me. In the offchance you tattoo your asshole(and that you are one who has that tentacle tattooed on the asshole and are having it re done/touched up), you can simply wash after you poop, you don’t have to go through this. Also you can try anti diuretic and anti liquid poop(for a lack of a better term) medicine. Looking foward for an update, hope you’ll be ok.

Moonwalk,
@Moonwalk@lemm.ee avatar

Just adding a comment so people will believe me when I tell them I was here when the "3 days without pooping" post happened :)

Good luck on your journey, OP!

IAm_A_Complete_Idiot,

I was here! :D

Tai,
@Tai@lemm.ee avatar

Obligatory "I was here" from me too

riccardo,

same :)

CoolRhino,

Honestly, the edits didn’t clarify much. I’m nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post

BuddhaBeettle,
@BuddhaBeettle@kbin.social avatar

Reading the edits, I just think OP is poop-shy and its either scared/ grossed out to poop on a camping trip, or has to use one of them "hole in the floor" toilets. At the end of the day, If OPs life is not on the line (which it doesn't sound as), its better to endure the poop than to endure whatever digestive torture they are about to inflict on themselves, but thats my opinion.

If it were something demanding like expedition to the everest they probably would have someone professional preparing them nad telling them what to and what not to eat.

Liempong_pagong,
@Liempong_pagong@lemmy.ml avatar

Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it’s like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he’s serious and frantic.

boopeditandnow,
@boopeditandnow@sh.itjust.works avatar

Is the goal to keep the poop inside your body? If it's allowed to come out and play, you could blend it with gatorade and consume it as soon as possible to minimize time spent outdoors.

atlasraven31,

(shakes head) that boy ain't right

dakerDraws,
@dakerDraws@pawb.social avatar

I think there's one important question we haven't covered yet. Do you also need to limit the amount you fart?

Because that could affect food choice. Or is that not a factor and you'll be able to discretely let loose somewhere?

Ghona76,

Everything about this post is weird and hilarious.

cly,

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

artaban,

there is no way this will be happen

BOB_DROP_TABLES,

This sounds like the beginning of great tifu post

TheShane,

I know I will. Now...

bionicjoey,

This could be our Jolly Rancher

Kyle,

Please refresh me on the jolly rancher story.

oshitwaddup,
@oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz avatar

If you google it you will find it, but you've been warned

erusuoyera,

No. Trust me, it's in your best interests.

goforliftoff,

I just hope OP doesn't break both arms while they're out doing... whatever it is they're going to be doing.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

After the self induced constipation, they'll need the poop knife for sure.

Canic,

Either that, or it’ll turn into a poop sword

Sooperstition,

Everything about this is fantastic. This level of shitposting is exactly what the fediverse needs

ethane,

This level of shitposting? So... no-shit posting?

techtask,

MREs. Particularly US MREs. You can eat em as much as you want and you won't have to go for a week.

Fear the end of the week, however

whenlifegivesyoureddit,

Glad I wasn't the only one to think ration packs. UK ones used to have similar effects

CanadaPlus, (edited )

Especially if you don't rehydrate them properly. That's where the reputation comes from at least partly.

Edit: Or so I hear.

sethboy66,

What US MRE requires rehydration? Retort pouches are universally used to carry wet rations, I thought the only hydration needed was for drink mixes like instant coffee and drink mixes.

CanadaPlus,

I'm actually just repeating what I've heard. I'll add a disclaimer.

That surprises me, though. It must add a lot of weight. The Canadian ones have dehydrated or partly dehydrated components.

StoicLime,
@StoicLime@lemmy.world avatar

We finally got shitposting on Lemmy, lessfgo!

eyy,

shitposting

C'mon read the whole thing man, its a no-shit post.

taladar,

No shit, Sherlock.

ATiredPhilosopher,

Brother/sister/sibling, please just poop.

4am,
@4am@lemmy.world avatar

Bro are you mailing yourself somewhere?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I wish I could mail myself out of this situation but nope.

MucherBucher,

Come on. The internet is kinda anonymous, you could tell us it's because it's your biggest kink and noone would bat an eye. If you don't tell in fear of IRL friends finding out... that's already gone anyways.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Heyy is it a situation you’re in voluntarily, you’ve been forced into it, or ‘voluntarily’ bc getting out of it would be more painful?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I wasn't forced and only two people know I'm holding my poop in. But they don't know what extents I'm willing to go to in order to achieve this.

adj16,

🤣

CanadaPlus,

This is exactly the sort of thing I'm guessing. Or stowing away.

TheRex1209,

I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD

bedrooms,

Thank god, I thought OP was going to torture their spouse lmao

frequency,
@frequency@lemmy.world avatar

My first thought was going on another Titanic expedition in a sub.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm not a woman and I will have access to toilets. I just cannot let my myself poop for certain reasons.

dom,

Is it kinky sex stuff

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

I think it's vanilla sex stuff but as a marathon (I consider anal sex to be vanilla)

dom,

I dont know if I consider anal with 3 days worth of scat to be vanilla

ErraticDragon,
@ErraticDragon@kbin.social avatar

I assumed OP would be willing to say it it was "just" that. This being the Internet and all, people admit to way weirder stuff all the time.

When I was a Boy Scout, we often had kids who would refuse to go. It was a whole thing that we had to check on. (Along with asking everyone how yellow their pee was.)

I remember one guy was in tears on the hike out, and it turned out that he had faked out the scoutmaster by taking a walk with the TP and shovel, but not actually gone. Poor kid was barely able to walk, but kept insisting he couldn't void either.

I only learned later how serious it can get if prolonged.

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