I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

MajorMajormajormajor,

1 word: pancakes. Nature's cork.

assclapcalamity,

okeydokey for the weirdo who doesn't shit from eating flour, eggs and milk. maybe you should drink more water?

unomas,

pancakes. Nature’s cork.

Nobody's ever said that before.

MajorMajormajormajor,

You obviously haven't rolled a pancake up into a cylinder and give it the tappy tap up the ol' poop chute eh? You're missing out.

homesnatch,

Intense scribbling.. With or without the maple syrup?

MajorMajormajormajor,

Without, do you want ants? That is how you get ants.

Biff,
@Biff@lemmy.world avatar

This is like some bizzaro 90's sitcom. "Quick, I need your help to not poop for 3 days! No time to explain!"

seppoenarvi,

Imodium

dekatron,

Guess you're visiting the Titanic shipwreck in a submarine...

oxideSeven,
@oxideSeven@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.

thiccdiccnicc,
@thiccdiccnicc@sh.itjust.works avatar

Op is gonna meet their stinky penpal in person and wants to save a special gift for when they get together, how romantic 😍

eduardm,

Whatever you do, DON'T visit fecalfunny.com

666dollarfootlong,

My guess: Airsoft or paintball MilSim (Military-Simulation) operation. OP is a sniper. There is an ambush. Long-shot: re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden. OP's crush is there. OP's butthole is sore, so they want a few days of no toilets to allow their bottom to heal.

jerkface,
@jerkface@lemmy.ca avatar

If it's important you can easily just not eat for three days. Otherwise, there's nothing you can eat that will be safe and prevent you from pooping.

skiguy0123,

Give birth right before your trip

TheAnonymouseJoker,
@TheAnonymouseJoker@lemmy.ml avatar

I would recommend passing your time by letting out the poop and taking it back in. That is all the finest advice I can provide you for this fasting endeavour.

MrComradeTaco,

An uncle died for not pooping for 3 days

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

Yeah, but whose uncle hasn’t?

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

My one pedo uncle got so constipated that the shit inside of him crushed his heart. Nobody was upset by it.

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

Enough fediverse for today, jeez.

TIN,

That sentence is a wild ride!

FleaCatcher,

How??

LaunchesKayaks,
@LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world avatar

He was that bloated and full of shit.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm scared now WHAT

FrankTheHealer, (edited )

I dont think you can die from not pooping for 3 days. I go 3 days without pooping sometimes because my metabolism is slow as fuck.

A week or longer without pooping? Yeah might cause issues, but 3 days is fine

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Same here, did it when I was younger. Day 3 was rough but it was definitely doable.

ergifruit,

as someone with IBS, cold/frozen liquids are the way to go... pun fully intended. it might be a bit difficult to keep things cool, but frozen sports drinks and the like are good for keeping you going. it's really unhealthy, and i absolutely can't recommend it, but it should work. you get a lot of your water intake from food, too, so if it's not getting any of that, the water you ingest from liquids/frozen liquids is gonna get sucked up by your large intestine and, in theory, you'll need the toilet less. good luck with, uh. your thing.

Yoldark,

Get some mana or soilent, stuff like that.

You need to eat it before your journey as your bowels need to adapt, once it is good you will have one poop per week as there is not a lot of fibers in it.

It is cheap also. You got everything you need to be well.

brainschaden,

I was here for this glorious moment, we have to solve the puzzle and guess why he is doing this

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