I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

MesaCoast,

Aha! You are joining the circus!!!

DontAskAboutUpdog,

I loled so hard at this I spill my beer.

promitheas,
@promitheas@iusearchlinux.fyi avatar

Your last three posts are a roller coaster in wondering “What’s this guy up to?”. Thanks for the laughs

https://iusearchlinux.fyi/pictrs/image/808e9ced-05ef-4254-993c-7fd37452cd14.png

limecool,

It must be troll posts. No way this is real

eduardm,

Whatever you do, DON'T visit fecalfunny.com

Gobidev,

Wat

achooie,

Try US MREs but skip the coffee, per 4chan

swab148,
ArugulaZ,
@ArugulaZ@kbin.social avatar

Uh, are you David Blaine? Do you plan on burying yourself in a coffin for three days?

Granite,
@Granite@kbin.social avatar

Avoid foods with lots of fiber leading up to the trip! And then take lots of fiber after you’re home safely.

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