I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

brainschaden,

I was here for this glorious moment, we have to solve the puzzle and guess why he is doing this

diffaldo,

try OMAD and drink sugary drinks while in your journey. Godspeed!

Snuzii,

I guess try taking some OTC medicine for diarrhea, should make you constipated.

Harpa,

I don't even want to know the answer because it'll be less entertaining than lemmy's collective imagination.

As for the question: I think your biggest problem is going to be inducing a proper clearout shortly before you go on your trip. Maybe laxatives?

Edit: I just realized, is the reason you don't want to go despite having toiles available stuff like hemorrhoids or an anal fissure? Because if so, there are creams for that my friend.

nani,

Eat Domino's pizza. It gives me constipation everytime I eat it.

Gradually_Adjusting,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

I hope nobody ever finds out

ChrislyBear,

I was here for the poop post of 2023!

MrDude,

Eat carbs, drink Gatorade or Powerade and poop before hand. Bro whatever you're doing I expect an update post!

StankFlipper,

Hardtack? They have tons of recipes online and it’s basically super dense, dry, cracker/bread you have to add water to. It’ll fill you up, it’s very compact, and you can make it out of household ingredients. Best of luck to you!

Chocrates,

Just don't eat and mainline kaopectate?

mcpheeandme,

OP could get constipated by doing a bunch of opioids. Obviously not recommended.

eulheim,
@eulheim@feddit.de avatar

I had a very good time reading this.

I’d recommend to throw some Loperamidhydrochlorid in the mix, not sure if you can find it in your pharmacy. When I’ve been too Music Festivals, we’ve always had some as an emergency, if the toilets would be clogged (which happened a lot).

Stay strong 👍🏻

Vex_Detrause,

Just be careful with these, if you overdo it you'll have constipation. Which is also dangerous when it lasts long.

Butt to add on the solution codeine or Tylenol#3 or narcotics can decrease motility which results in constipation.

collegefurtrader,

I think David Blane talked about this on Hot Ones

snipe_at,
@snipe_at@lemmy.world avatar

hey i saw that you only have a few days, you should go ahead and reduce your food intake today

evader_fateful,

It’s been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!

Please update when back!

codyofficial,

Sort comments by new to see his latest update.

PM_ME_FEET_PICS,

Avoid fiber like plague

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