I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

sputtersalt,
@sputtersalt@lemmy.world avatar

i'm so confused. what do you need all of this for. why are you being so secretive. what could possibly be this dramatic

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I swear I would've told yall if I could..

joakimcalais,

You’re gonna be on a sub right?

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

OP is probably a billionaire.

TheTeaMonster,

Yikes

swancheez,
@swancheez@lemmy.world avatar

Exactly where my mind went.

Dave_r,

Cheese.

StarkillerX42,

Brie for the first day, then Camembert for the nicely aged flavor. Smell isn’t an issue, right?!?

NichtElias,
@NichtElias@sh.itjust.works avatar

Can you tell us when you're done? This is already one of the most interesting posts on lemmy

StankFlipper,

Hardtack? They have tons of recipes online and it’s basically super dense, dry, cracker/bread you have to add water to. It’ll fill you up, it’s very compact, and you can make it out of household ingredients. Best of luck to you!

Xanthrax,
@Xanthrax@lemmy.world avatar

Try asking the bottoms from the lgbtq+ communities.

norbert,
@norbert@kbin.social avatar

They'd just tell you to do an enema.

danc4498,

Why do you need this?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm sorry but i really can't say that here

withdrawn,

Just stay away from expensive submersible trips.

jzefbeio54,

underrated comment

denemdenem,

As far as I know the last one went to shit real fast.

assa123,
@assa123@lemmy.world avatar

keep safe, I really hope you're not being used as a drug mule (or forcing someone to be one).

NewNewAccount,

Dude’s going to jail and has poop anxiety.

bernieecclestoned,

Can you take a packed lunch to jail?

It's no picnic! Lol

lunarshot,
@lunarshot@lemmy.world avatar

bro, did Jurassic Park teach us nothing? when you gotta go, you gotta go!

tinwhiskers,
@tinwhiskers@kbin.social avatar

If you make it to wherever you're going, please let us know the story!

jaeposten,
@jaeposten@midwest.social avatar

Sunflower seeds

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks a lot. I'm not sure I can easily find them where I am right now but I'll try.

Edit: Wait... don't sunflower seeds contain fibres? Shouldn't that make it harder to hold poop in?

snipe_at,
@snipe_at@lemmy.world avatar

i think the goal would be to eat the seed in the middle and not the husk

Kettlepants,

It won't be poop, it'll mostly be butter-style spread if that's all you're consuming. Wrapped up in a cellulose husk. Prepackaged for your convenience.

ArugulaZ,
@ArugulaZ@kbin.social avatar

Uh, are you David Blaine? Do you plan on burying yourself in a coffin for three days?

sarsaparilyptus,

GOMAD - Gallon Of Milk A Day

Can't promise you won't have severe diarrhea

Hyggyldy,

Such an oddly terrifying post.

groggy,

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud

copylefty,

I don't have any suggestions but would like to give my thanks for the quality content

paddythegeek,

I’d you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.

TheMightyCanuck,
@TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works avatar

Meat sweats lmao

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks a lot. It should be easy to find food like that where I'm going.

SirShanova,

At a guess, are you going to Philmont? Pack in, pack out your human waste?

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