I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

MrDude,

Eat carbs, drink Gatorade or Powerade and poop before hand. Bro whatever you're doing I expect an update post!

TheDudeV2,

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

freshzombie,
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

palarith,

It’s called a low residue diet badgut.org/…/low-residue-diet/

bartlebee,

https://infosec.pub/pictrs/image/f634e684-b824-473d-b403-a9a015f55ca1.jpeg``

achooie,

Try US MREs but skip the coffee, per 4chan

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Im just posting so I can see my username on one of Whang's videos one day.

artaban,

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

Sowatee,

What the fuck?

swab148,

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

Please post again after your ordeal, OP.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I won't be able to come online during or right after the three-day period but if i remember it afterwards I'll update the post with an edit

TheRecycledMoth,

“If you remember”

Do you do things like this often enough that you forget which ones you posted about?

TheShane,

This was my reaction!

bigkahuna1986,

I’ve got a friend with ADHD and forgetting to update is something he would totally do.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

!remindme 2 wee -- aw fuck now I'm sad

scrof,
@scrof@lemmy.world avatar

Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

The thing is... I can't poop at all. Bricks won't work either.

TheShane,

Vitamins, electrolyte drinks, maybe pudding cups that won't upset your stomach...

scrof,
@scrof@lemmy.world avatar

Then don't pack food, get some vitamins, you won't die. It's physically impossible I think not to poop if you eat anything at all and I wouldn't recommend forcing a constipation as it can cause you more harm than it's worth.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

This is kind of a group thing and I'm the only one not allowed to poop for personal reasons. They'll be expecting me to eat food that's at least somewhat normal.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

damn dude, how many guys are you going with 👀

MudSkipperKisser,

Well this got even more interesting

MudSkipperKisser,

Well this got even more interesting

oxideSeven,
@oxideSeven@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Dude. At this point, just explain. No one knows you on here. This is ridiculous.

Trebach,

The canned tuna at the store here is packed in salt water so I have to drain it before eating.

TheShane,

Like a Wombat!

BendyLemmy,
@BendyLemmy@lemmy.ml avatar

For limited opportunities to pee, I’d carry a good sized bottle and limit drinking to sipping water/an electrolyte beverage through a straw.

For limiting poop, I’d try to be empty ahead of time, and just take something solid like bread and cheese which means you probably could go through three days without pooping.

MinFapper,

Soylent?

Should be available at most grocery stores

PastaTrees,
@PastaTrees@lemmy.world avatar

I can't tell if it's made from people or not

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

I had GI issues that forced me to live off protein shakes like soylent for months. You still poop, but it turns into more of a Nutella spread.

Vex_Detrause,

Why would you compare it with Nutella! I'll forever remember @Ghostalmedia poop when I eat Nutella.

specks, (edited )

Yeah, after a few days on a Soylent diet, should enter reduced pooping mode. Since people only poop every few days I believe.

And for the record, you don't have to drink a while bottle for a meal. Can nurse a single bottle throughout the day.

HorrorSpirit,
@HorrorSpirit@lemmy.ml avatar

This is going to become a historical post. I don’t have any advice as i have never been in such a predicament myself but i wish you best of luck and no shit!

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