I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Kurt,
@Kurt@lemmy.one avatar

I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I've replied to quite a few people and I'm going to bed now.

I'll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

Wish me luck.

4am,
@4am@lemmy.world avatar

Remember: No vid, no did

(but seriously good luck and please don't hurt/injure yourself my friend. Godspeed!)

Feo,

Godspeed op. May your cheeks remain pristine.

Tagger,

Do we have remind me set up yet?

heartlessevil,

This is the first post on lemmy I've bookmarked, congrats

Vex_Detrause,

Please don't overthink it. You might get more urge to go when your trying not to poop. You got this! Please update us.

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

eighty,

I really wish I knew what I did in the past to achieve this. Depression and poor eating habits?

Twaffle,

This thread is going to haunt me. One day, years from now while lying in bed and slowly drifting off to sleep, I'll suddenly sit bolt upright and exclaim, "Why couldn't that dude poop!?"

macrocephalic,

And what was on that hard drive sewn into the lining of the laptop bag?

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

You could try surviving on Soylent or an equivalent. It’s the nutrients you need to stay alive and operating normally stripped down to the bare minimum (so less material for you to have to poop). It might be diluted in water but that could be minimised and that small amount would probably leave you though sweat/breath anyway.

eyy,

But what is it made of?

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Iirc, oats and pea protein, plus some micronutrients

DrWeevilJammer,

For those not aware that this is a movie reference, check out the 1970s Charlton Heston movie "Soylent Green".

OtakuAltair,
@OtakuAltair@lemmy.world avatar

I don't know the answer, but now I can say I was here during the infamous 'Poop post' on Lemmy 10 years from now.

atwerp,

OP, you misunderstand the "no shitposts on lemmy" guideline, that's not what it means

makingStuffForFun,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

Boom tish! Lovely work

highduc,

You said if we guess you’d confirm so here’s my attempt.

Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that’s why you’d rather not?

downdaemon,
@downdaemon@lemmy.ml avatar

hahah ok this is good content

wildeaboutoskar,
@wildeaboutoskar@lemmy.world avatar

I would recommend against doing this because you will end up feeling awful. We poo for a reason. Please be careful.

That said, immodium and low strength codeine both bung you up- depending on where you live you may be able to get both from a pharmacy.

MeticulousBastard,

I'm pretty sure sometimes I poop for no reason.

breakerfall,

This is amazing.

yarr,
@yarr@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Taking bets:

  • Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
  • Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
  • Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
  • Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
  • Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
  • Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
  • Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
  • Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
  • Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
  • Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.
lowleveldata,
  • Just doing it for the sake of it because life is short

I'm betting on this one

666dollarfootlong,

My guess: Airsoft/paintball whatever MilSim operation.

Edit: OP is a sniper in said operation. Perhaps re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden?

Darorad,

I don't see bottoming on that list

mizu6079, (edited )
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Okay I'll give in a tiny bit only because this barely narrows it down: one of them is ridiculously close to what is actually the case. Like, I'm actually doing the thing you mentioned in the point, just your reasoning is wrong.

P.S.: The actual reasoning is borderline impossible for anyone to guess so just stop trying guys.

rackmountrambo,

You can poop in the shipping container dude, what are the people shoulder to shoulder to you going to do? Leave?

LufyCZ,

Just for readability, these are the options with reasoning:

  • Attending an event (festivalor convention)
  • Long journey, such as a cross-country trip (probably this one, as OP mentioned walking+travelling by train)
  • Reality TV Show / film
Sleo,

He’s probably out on the Hajj, they travel to some of the key points by train. The bathroom facilities are not ideal and that’s why he is asking for ways to trim down his poop times.

LufyCZ,

But he said that he’d make the whole trip twice and that he’d be able to poop the second time

Sleo,

As part of the hajj, the entire community travels to various points in and around the city. One of the points that’s only for a few days is in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside the official boundaries of the city of Makkah. When they are in the tent (it’s a fancy tent, air conditioned but with zero privacy with 20 other guys), the bathrooms there are communal, which in turn are not the cleanest in the world. Most of them are the eastern squatty potty style. Let’s just say not going there for a poop seems very tempting. The counter to it is, most of the food there is free, and it is really good… So it’s a very delicate balance to say the least.

This is all speculation on my part, given the timing of it. For all we know it could be some weird kinky camping thing the guy is into!

firipu,

Is it a sex thing? Please don't let it be a sex thing.

redonyo,

So much of what we do is horrible now a days. It would be nice if it was just a sex thing

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

Damn, I thought you were just an Amazon employee.

Butane,
@Butane@lemmy.world avatar

You are donating your poop for fecal implants.

CoolBeance,
@CoolBeance@lemmy.world avatar

You're going to a Burning Man-style event and you don't want to poop on June 25th because it's Anne Frank's birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to "Anne Frank" your poop for three days

eyy,

undefined> You’re going to a Burning Man-style event and you don’t want to poop on June 25th because it’s Anne Frank’s birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to “Anne Frank” your poop for three days

Congratulations, you're the first person in the world to use that sentence.

L3s, (edited )
@L3s@lemmy.world avatar

One of those scenarios + poop shy around S/O, S/O family, or friends is my guess.

Edit: also, cheese, lots of cheese.

Edit2: is this the new "found a safe"?

JesusTheCarpenter,

Why would he not want to say the reason though? If that was the case, the OP could just say he is a shy pooper. Instead we now suspect that this is some kind of orgy with a fetish.

LufyCZ,

They said that facilities would be everywhere "as normal".

Also, they said they'd be taking travelling, the same route twice, first time around they can't poop, second time they can.

L3s,
@L3s@lemmy.world avatar

Not sure how this goes against my theory?

whyNotSquirrel,

yeah, other people could move after day 3, allowing them to fume the tent

BurnedDonutHole,

Get anti diarrhea medicine, have electrolyte drinks in moderation.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Wouldn’t those give you constipation after you’ve finished though

baseless_discourse,

Eat laxative after, simple.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I just dk if it works like that

BurnedDonutHole,

His toilet schedule is not my problem. Joking aside laxatives will solve the issue or his own metabolism after a while.

ShakeThatYam,
@ShakeThatYam@lemmy.world avatar

Or legally prescribed opiates

BurnedDonutHole,

Since op is talking about walking and staying in a tent I’m guessing op will need all the mental and physical faculties working instead of being sedated.

dystop,
@dystop@lemmy.world avatar

Dude the submersible's gone, there isn't gonna be another trip down there. Get your $250,000 back and do something meaningful with your life.

B20bob,
@B20bob@lemmy.world avatar

Bro, I've been trying to figure out why this poor guy would possibly need to meet these requirements.. I think you nailed it on the head. lmao well played OP.

eyy,

You nearly made me spit out the water in my mouth. Thanks.

highduc,

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

flambonkscious,

With photos, preferably...

demonmariner,
@demonmariner@lemmy.one avatar

Or blow up in someone's face.

Skooshjones,
@Skooshjones@vlemmy.net avatar

I'm here too, this feels like the beginning of a Lemmy legend :)

Good luck and stay safe!

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

3 days without pooping are perfectly doable. I’ve done it before when I was younger

eyy, (edited )

I don't have anything to add, I'm just planting my flag here so I can say I was here at the beginnings of lemmylore.

Here, have a cat picture as an offering:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0f514a9d-58ee-4397-89ea-39be645fb45f.png

wizard_cat,
@wizard_cat@kbin.social avatar

Same, this thread is legendary

PupBiru,
@PupBiru@kbin.social avatar

… omg “stickers” 😍

qjkxbmwvz,

I was there, Gandalf.gif

hungryphrog,

I was here 𓆏

wampastompa,
@wampastompa@social.fossware.space avatar

me too ⛳️

kraiden,

I wuz heer

theolodger,

The cat tax has been paid.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • asklemmy@lemmy.ml
  • localhost
  • All magazines
    •
    Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #

    Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 134217728 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 20975616 bytes) in /var/www/kbin/kbin/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/Profiler/FileProfilerStorage.php on line 171

    Fatal error: Allowed memory size of 134217728 bytes exhausted (tried to allocate 10071680 bytes) in /var/www/kbin/kbin/vendor/symfony/error-handler/ErrorRenderer/HtmlErrorRenderer.php on line 339