I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

olpappy,
@olpappy@mander.xyz avatar

A small bottle of olive oil. It’s very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.

TheShane,

In large quantities... It will make your bum like a sluice gate!

Girtablulu,
@Girtablulu@feddit.de avatar

can confirm, ain't fun

jwu,

Yeah, but olive oil is also a mild laxative.
www.healthline.com/…/olive-oil-for-constipation

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

I can’t imagine myself consuming more than a spoonful of oil, any oil

kraiden,

Olive oil is actually delicious. Can't speak to using it for non-poopy reasons, but throw some in a bowl, add a splash of balsamic vinegar, sprinkle in some chunky rock salt, and dip the bougiest bread you can find in that shit! Delicious!

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Well yes I agree, olive oil + salt is a godly combination, I just can’t imagine gulping it down like it’s a Fanta

Jimmycrackcrack,

I think the consumption of only oily fat will cause a bit of a shitsplosion and probably sooner than 3 days in.

someguy3,

I'm guessing you're going backcountry or to a festival of some kind. I sympathize but using an outhouse or potta potty isn't bad, it's just a mental block. You'll enjoy yourself a lot more when you do things normally.

cly,

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

artaban,

there is no way this will be happen

BOB_DROP_TABLES,

This sounds like the beginning of great tifu post

TheShane,

I know I will. Now...

bionicjoey,

This could be our Jolly Rancher

Kyle,

Please refresh me on the jolly rancher story.

oshitwaddup,
@oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz avatar

If you google it you will find it, but you've been warned

erusuoyera,

No. Trust me, it's in your best interests.

goforliftoff,

I just hope OP doesn't break both arms while they're out doing... whatever it is they're going to be doing.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

After the self induced constipation, they'll need the poop knife for sure.

Canic,

Either that, or it’ll turn into a poop sword

Guy_Fieris_Hair,

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

iturnedintoanewt,

Aw crap we are going to need silly lemmy awards soon.

MargotRobbie,
@MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar
whyNotSquirrel,

you definitely have something here and should get in touch with the devs !

imaqtpie,
@imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works avatar
dom,

This hit me in the nostalgia

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Please keep the awards this way

CookieMonster,
@CookieMonster@lemmy.world avatar

It all went downhill when they introduced actual silver. Probably earlier, but that's when the monetization spam started.

voluntaryexilecat,

May I suggest to get a foldable potty instead? They are super light and the size of an original Gameboy when folded. Combined with plastic bags and silicapowder (do not eat) it will help you stay healthy instead of dehydrated and constipated. If amazon is not fast enough, check the nearest baby mart. If you are just shy, there are also foldable privacy shields (camping section) available to let you do your business with privacy.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Toilets are readily available where I'm going; I can't do it for... other reasons..

Dave_r,

Cheese.

StarkillerX42,

Brie for the first day, then Camembert for the nicely aged flavor. Smell isn’t an issue, right?!?

NichtElias,
@NichtElias@sh.itjust.works avatar

Can you tell us when you're done? This is already one of the most interesting posts on lemmy

Aurix,

This has to be a kink thing, one of the weirder ones. Holding a plug, not sweating, because it is not wished?

Else it is something illegal. Drug mule, crossing a border which would either make the drugs visible, or maybe another crime to not leave obvious DNA traces. No sweating to not look suspicious on control? Not much stuff to disguise the longer travel?

FrankTheHealer,

I’m leaning towards drug smuggling

No pooping so they don’t expel the drug packets that they have ingested. No sweating so they dont seem nervous. And less peeinhg since will be travelling, on planes, cars etc

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

No kinky stuff involved.

No drugs involved.

No breaking-the-law-in-any-other-way involved.

magiccupcake,

I don't believe you.

StankFlipper,

Hardtack? They have tons of recipes online and it’s basically super dense, dry, cracker/bread you have to add water to. It’ll fill you up, it’s very compact, and you can make it out of household ingredients. Best of luck to you!

tinwhiskers,
@tinwhiskers@kbin.social avatar

If you make it to wherever you're going, please let us know the story!

swancheez,
@swancheez@lemmy.world avatar

Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.

Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I can tell you about the results but not why I'm doing this. Sorry!

tj111,

Just buy poo-pourri and take a poo my guy. N one will know.

socsa,

OP, please do not rape.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

What does that have to do with my question...

Chocrates,

Just don't eat and mainline kaopectate?

mcpheeandme,

OP could get constipated by doing a bunch of opioids. Obviously not recommended.

scrof,
@scrof@lemmy.world avatar

Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

The thing is... I can't poop at all. Bricks won't work either.

TheShane,

Vitamins, electrolyte drinks, maybe pudding cups that won't upset your stomach...

scrof,
@scrof@lemmy.world avatar

Then don't pack food, get some vitamins, you won't die. It's physically impossible I think not to poop if you eat anything at all and I wouldn't recommend forcing a constipation as it can cause you more harm than it's worth.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

This is kind of a group thing and I'm the only one not allowed to poop for personal reasons. They'll be expecting me to eat food that's at least somewhat normal.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

damn dude, how many guys are you going with 👀

MudSkipperKisser,

Well this got even more interesting

MudSkipperKisser,

Well this got even more interesting

oxideSeven,
@oxideSeven@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Dude. At this point, just explain. No one knows you on here. This is ridiculous.

Trebach,

The canned tuna at the store here is packed in salt water so I have to drain it before eating.

TheShane,

Like a Wombat!

sputtersalt,
@sputtersalt@lemmy.world avatar

i'm so confused. what do you need all of this for. why are you being so secretive. what could possibly be this dramatic

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I swear I would've told yall if I could..

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