I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Pili,

I'm so happy I can be a part of this historical moment.

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

It's okay.

I'll poop for your share too, friend.

nihilomaster,

Just don’t eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.

Gobidev,

Wat

Knusbiegel,

Did you sign an NDA?

risottinopazzesco,

Just poop as much as possible before leaving. For three days you can fast, it’s very much doable.

I was here when the 3 days without pooping post dropped.

DubiousInterests,

I would say try to poop just before you leave to and fast for an extra 24-48 hours beforehand too if they can manage.

Xaxetrov,

I was there.

PolandIsAStateOfMind,
@PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml avatar

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

JesusTheCarpenter,

That is not overtime, it is during normal working hours.

silentdon,

This is why I joined lemmy.

FarFarAway,

Have you considered something that causes constipation? Immodium, cheese, Blended up guava seeds...

ChrislyBear,

I was here for the poop post of 2023!

unomas,

someone should create a badge to mark this special occasion. "I was here for the famous poop post of 2023"

Juliie,

Avoid fiber like a plague, already

So no to popular fruits and vegetables, no carrots, beets, strawberry, apples

Hmm but also it would be good to actually poop last day before hike so maybe take some pills for that day before for a huge splasshh bbbrrrr

When you return expect to give birth to a shitman

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I haven't eaten fibre for a while to prepare for this. I don't mind severe constipation but i just need to get through those 3 days without pooping. Also not going on a hike idk why everyone is assuming that. Anyways, thanks.

Zinx,

I'm here for whatever this ends up being

withersailor,

In poop.

candyman337,
@candyman337@lemmy.world avatar

Jesus wtf lol, this is one of those posts that's going to become a copypasta

Linebeck,

This is the kind of content we need, glorious

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