I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

BendyLemmy,
@BendyLemmy@lemmy.ml avatar

For limited opportunities to pee, I’d carry a good sized bottle and limit drinking to sipping water/an electrolyte beverage through a straw.

For limiting poop, I’d try to be empty ahead of time, and just take something solid like bread and cheese which means you probably could go through three days without pooping.

Moonwalk,
@Moonwalk@lemm.ee avatar

Just adding a comment so people will believe me when I tell them I was here when the "3 days without pooping" post happened :)

Good luck on your journey, OP!

IAm_A_Complete_Idiot,

I was here! :D

Tai,
@Tai@lemm.ee avatar

Obligatory "I was here" from me too

riccardo,

same :)

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

Linebeck,

lmaooooo

Leafimo,

the real LPT is always in the comments

JesusTheCarpenter,

This guy kinks

riktor,
@riktor@kbin.social avatar

This is the way

DoucheAsaurus,
@DoucheAsaurus@kbin.social avatar

while you're out at your fuck-tent

I'm dead holy shit 🤣

Very_Bad_Janet,

eat like a twink!

Is this why they call it the BRAT diet?

manifex,

Gimping: A Primer

HorrorSpirit,
@HorrorSpirit@lemmy.ml avatar

This is going to become a historical post. I don’t have any advice as i have never been in such a predicament myself but i wish you best of luck and no shit!

macrocephalic,

I have a friend who was in the army and said they had to do 100+km training hikes. No one wanted to have to stop to poo so the first thing they did, before even starting, was to eat the block of cheese from their ration packs. They called it plug cheese.

half_built_pyramids,

I was here for the poop thing

Don't eat chipotle

Relic5646,

Uncomfortable pooping somewhere with no bidet available?

gun,
@gun@lemmy.ml avatar

You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don’t want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

You left out fetish, phobia, paid orgy, trying to convince someone that you live on a diet of sunlight, and stranded in a submarine as potentials.

skrttskrtt911,

This post is gold. To parrot a couple others, anti-diarrhea medicine always locks me up for a day or two

risottinopazzesco,

Just poop as much as possible before leaving. For three days you can fast, it’s very much doable.

I was here when the 3 days without pooping post dropped.

DubiousInterests,

I would say try to poop just before you leave to and fast for an extra 24-48 hours beforehand too if they can manage.

Neptune014,

I dont have any advice. Just wanted to day I was here before the reason was revealed.

bigkahuna1986,

I just want to be a part of this history. Also maybe like protein shakes?

Phantom_Engineer,
@Phantom_Engineer@lemmy.ml avatar

My only advice would be to have a back up plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, and there’s no guarantee you won’t get an unpleasant surprise. You say you’ll use the toilet if you’re about to shit yourself, but what if you can’t make it and do end up shitting yourself because you put it off so long?

KittenBiscuits,

OP is literally asking us the most efficient way to get backed up. What other backup plan could they need?

OP, can you get hold of any stimulant appetite suppressants? They'll pull double doody for you. You'll eat less and be constipated.

jystfact,

Are you, by any chance in a submarine?

MissJinx,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

Disasters come in threes. One sub down, better wait until the next 2 explode too

badgerific,

There's no advice that's going to be effective in stopping poop in those circumstances...

100beep,

To answer the actual question, cheese and meat.

Bageler,

Unless lactose intolerance is a factor. Then just meat. A lot of jerky.

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