I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

vriska,
@vriska@l.60228.dev avatar

8/10 with rice

Maajmaaj,
@Maajmaaj@lemmy.ca avatar

Lemmy finally feels like home now. 😂😂

mustardman,

This is the first Lemmy Moment

ikidd,
@ikidd@lemmy.world avatar

I regularly do this on backpacking trips.

Don't ask me how, I don't even know. I call it Camping Constipation Mode. I usually leave on a Thursday afternoon and get home Sunday night without feeling the urge to shit. And I eat as normally as you can when backpacking, I guess. Seems like most of the dehy food should make you thread a needle at 10 paces but doesn't seem to affect me that way.

agamemnonymous,

Yes! Whenever I go camping, my body just figures it out for days.

SuperNerd,

NASA has a paper on how to not poop for days. It’s on the Internet. Before space toilets there was only a space bag with finger scissor/scoop holes. It didn’t work, poop got everywhere. The paper goes into detail about fecal matter being everywhere after early multi-day missions.

So they figured it out. Their system works – I’ve also had my own reasons.

dart,

OP, the answer is obviously to starve yourself and use a buttplug

Kouran,

I was here when this post happened.

Aldo,

History in the making, baby!

OmegaZX,

Lemmy is good just because of this post

tymon,

I have done two seven-day fasts and four three-day fasts. You'll want to prep with fasting practice and then watch your water intake to make sure you're not dehydrated.

I would pay $50 to know why the fuck you're doing this.

theunfounded,

The only thing that makes sense to me is that they are flying, not checking a bag and therefore they are unable to bring their poop knife.

joshuaacasey,
@joshuaacasey@lemmy.world avatar

and there we have. a reddit meme has transcended reddit onto a higher plane of existence.

OMG_its_mustard,
@OMG_its_mustard@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

All I can think of is that OP is going to some kind of comic-con and has intricate body paint/an outfit that is so inconvenient to take on and off that they'd rather minimize their food and drinks for 3 days.

Blazingflames6073,
@Blazingflames6073@lemmy.world avatar

One of the more interesting posts I've seen here

JWBananas,
@JWBananas@kbin.social avatar

You're gonna need a bigger knife

headlesscyborg,
@headlesscyborg@lemmy.ml avatar

You’re putting so much effort to avoid pooping… but you should put the same effort into making sure that once this whole thing is over, there’s a toilet you can sit on for a few hours without being interrupted. If I was you, I’d choose one in advance and call there for a reservation.

snek_boi,

My shitless friend will arrive at that toilet in pain for having held all that shit inside. While I support the idea of reserving a toilet as soon as possible, I hope they don’t sit on it for too long. We don’t want to add hemorrhoids to the list of pains 🥵

Smoogs,

It’s ok. He/she/them will understand that people do poop. They aren’t worth it if they can’t Accept this

Padit,

Use anti diarrhea medication, for example Loperamide, it's available in every normal pharmacy (found it in France and Germany, no idea where you are). It will basically numb all your muscles in your gut and it will become impossible to poop.

For three days that should be fine, but you should reduce your food volume a bit.

This is unhealthy and stupid!!! But it works and is not crazy dangerous for your body.

P.S.:I guess you should just overcome your social fears and poop like a normal person.

Gabtraf,

Is there a healthy way to not shit for 3 days by force?

tourist,
@tourist@lemmy.world avatar

This is unhealthy and stupid!!

So long as we're giving this kind of advice, I don't know why we're stopping at loperamide

OP, heroin and other psychotropic opioids do the exact same thing. They're much cheaper and more fun.

You could also superglue your anus shut. Fun imho but many will disagree

mdwhite999,

I love the escalation in this comment

Yadaran,

My man went all in haha

confetti_8tVST5,

Really feels like home y'know

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