I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

EuroNutellaMan,
@EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world avatar

OP I don't think this is what they meant when they said "don't be a party pooper"

super_user_do,
@super_user_do@feddit.it avatar

Me surviving 1week without pooping

sarchar,

Fast. Seriously. Drink just enough water to stay hydrated. Avoid diuretics like coffee and alcohol.

zelifcam,
@zelifcam@lemmy.world avatar

stop asking

Proceeds to then write a detailed timeline of the events that will occur. Either this is a joke or someone needs to be talked too by an adult and explained how the human body works.

Hey OP! Food In == Food Out

There’s no way around it.

sussy_gussy,

You can hold it in for a while and if you eat less food but with more energy per volume, you can eat less -> poop less and still get enough energy.

RomanRoy,
@RomanRoy@lemmy.world avatar

I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.

hemko,

I was here

BoJack,
@BoJack@feddit.de avatar

I once survived 3 days without pooping at a festival. The secret was 15 liters of beer and ~ 9 cans of ravioli. But I peed A LOT.

Discoslugs,
@Discoslugs@lemmy.world avatar

9 cans of ravioli.

Ouch

Nommer,

No one wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli.

DovahFiST,

But I did, and I'm ashamed of myself.

Browning,

... Like a horse?

oldfart,

Larger amounts of beer have a laxative effect, at least on me. Hey Lemmy, who's the odd one, me or BoJack?

Sagittary,

Yeah but your friend Ricky will eat those 9 cans of ravioli before you know it

morva,

hold it in

LevelUp,
@LevelUp@dataterm.digital avatar

Eat a diet with hardly any fibre before you go. The last time I was bunged up for 4 days I had eaten a lot of meat and not enough veggies in comparison. It'll either help, or you'll just have a very big poop idk.

I would recommend lessening your fibre as a minimum if you must though!

bec,
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m just glad I’m here to witness this lol

Anyways, wouldn’t a liquid meal replacement do the trick? Something like Huel?

unhearing,

Doesn't huel have lots of fibers that will be excreted?

bec,
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

Just checked and it says it has 7g fiber per serving. Don’t know if it’s too much, honestly. Jusy thought that since it’s liquid it would be making less waste!

Kinga,

Huel is quite infamous for having lots of fiber and causing absolute monster shits before you get used to it. Like it really makes you go every few hours on top of the shits being just extra nasty

bec, (edited )
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

Didn’t know lol as I said I assumed that a liquid diet would help, guess I was very wrong lol

edit: maybe there are other similar meal replacements that have not as much fiber? If that’s the only downside. I suggested Huel because I don’t know of any other

Truth is, I challenged OP to this poopless challenge and I was trying to undermine their effort, but don’t snitch on me

Pulptastic,

The best thing you can eat is nothing. Take a 3 day water only fast. Maybe 4 days, start before your trip to get out all the poop ahead of time.

Vitaly_Chernobyl,
@Vitaly_Chernobyl@dataterm.digital avatar

OP confirmed as drug mule

olbaidiablo,

Leading up go on an mostly liquid diet. Diet shakes would probably do it. And just don't eat solid food. This, BTW, is going to suck when it's over as you'll feel like you need your bowel disimpacted. But it is possible.

ZcaT,
@ZcaT@lemmy.world avatar

Lemmy history!

assassinatedbyCIA,

The important first step is preparation. You need to clean the pipes. There should be nothing left inside you before you commence on the trip. So take some laxatives and do some cleaning. After you’re thoroughly pristine you must only consume a clear liquid diet, so clear juices and soft drinks (make sure you consume the full sugar version because that’s how you’ll get your energy). Take a multivitamin each day. On the second or third day take an Imodium, this is likely overkill but you won’t poop. Return to a normal diet on the third day but do so gradually over the course of a day or two. I cannot guarantee that this method will not damage your health and the risk will likely be greater if you have other health conditions, but you wont poop sooo.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • asklemmy@lemmy.ml
  • localhost
  • All magazines
    •
    Loading…
    Loading the web debug toolbar…
    Attempt #