I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Pili,

I'm so happy I can be a part of this historical moment.

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

It's okay.

I'll poop for your share too, friend.

nihilomaster,

Just don’t eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.

Gobidev,

Wat

Knusbiegel,

Did you sign an NDA?

GratefullyGodless,
@GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world avatar

I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

HerrLewakaas,
@HerrLewakaas@lemmy.world avatar

This is the perfect comment, I laughed so hard

Xaxetrov,

I was there.

silentdon,

This is why I joined lemmy.

Bayblade,

Would love an update haha

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Update: haven't pooped yet

FarFarAway,

Have you considered something that causes constipation? Immodium, cheese, Blended up guava seeds...

ChrislyBear,

I was here for the poop post of 2023!

unomas,

someone should create a badge to mark this special occasion. "I was here for the famous poop post of 2023"

abcd,

This is the content I was waiting for! I’ve read this while sitting on my throne 😂😂😂💩

ChrislyBear,

+1

the_kgb,

+#2

JesusTheCarpenter,

!RemindMe 7 days

kresten,

I'm sure it's coming at some point, we'll just need more fleshed out bot APIs

rainfern,

:'|

PotjiePig,

VeryLostRedditors

FleaCatcher,

For Jesus, I'll set-up an alarm on my phone.

MrDude,

Eat carbs, drink Gatorade or Powerade and poop before hand. Bro whatever you're doing I expect an update post!

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