I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

TheDudeV2,

Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So don’t eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.

Or, better yet, don’t even try to do this. You’re very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.

Bye,

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

thesilencenoise,

If I could give this comment an award, I would.

FleaCatcher,

You can say "nice dick" you know, it counts.

tfpc,

Nice cock bro.

freshzombie,
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who's going to mail himself somewhere would say.

candyman337,
@candyman337@lemmy.world avatar

Jesus wtf lol, this is one of those posts that's going to become a copypasta

Linebeck,

This is the kind of content we need, glorious

palarith,

It’s called a low residue diet badgut.org/…/low-residue-diet/

bartlebee,

https://infosec.pub/pictrs/image/f634e684-b824-473d-b403-a9a015f55ca1.jpeg``

achooie,

Try US MREs but skip the coffee, per 4chan

PolandIsAStateOfMind,
@PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml avatar

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

JesusTheCarpenter,

That is not overtime, it is during normal working hours.

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Im just posting so I can see my username on one of Whang's videos one day.

CoolRhino,

Honestly, the edits didn’t clarify much. I’m nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post

BuddhaBeettle,
@BuddhaBeettle@kbin.social avatar

Reading the edits, I just think OP is poop-shy and its either scared/ grossed out to poop on a camping trip, or has to use one of them "hole in the floor" toilets. At the end of the day, If OPs life is not on the line (which it doesn't sound as), its better to endure the poop than to endure whatever digestive torture they are about to inflict on themselves, but thats my opinion.

If it were something demanding like expedition to the everest they probably would have someone professional preparing them nad telling them what to and what not to eat.

artaban,

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

Zinx,

I'm here for whatever this ends up being

withersailor,

In poop.

Sowatee,

What the fuck?

swab148,

Limelight3019,

I'm proud to make this comment my first ever interaction (post, comment, or vote) on Lemmy.

eyy,

No shit! Good that you're participating, don't let that account go to waste.

Limelight3019,

No shit!

LOL!

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