I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Neptune014,

I dont have any advice. Just wanted to day I was here before the reason was revealed.

downdaemon,
@downdaemon@lemmy.ml avatar

hahah ok this is good content

breakerfall,

This is amazing.

socsa,

OP, please do not rape.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

What does that have to do with my question...

literallyacat,
@literallyacat@kbin.social avatar

....You're gonna try to ship yourself to Timbuktu, aren't you.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

You can poop in a mail van. Someone might just receive a delivery they didn’t ask for

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

Please post again after your ordeal, OP.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I won't be able to come online during or right after the three-day period but if i remember it afterwards I'll update the post with an edit

TheRecycledMoth,

“If you remember”

Do you do things like this often enough that you forget which ones you posted about?

TheShane,

This was my reaction!

bigkahuna1986,

I’ve got a friend with ADHD and forgetting to update is something he would totally do.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

!remindme 2 wee -- aw fuck now I'm sad

Xanthrax,
@Xanthrax@lemmy.world avatar

Try asking the bottoms from the lgbtq+ communities.

norbert,
@norbert@kbin.social avatar

They'd just tell you to do an enema.

MinFapper,

Soylent?

Should be available at most grocery stores

PastaTrees,
@PastaTrees@lemmy.world avatar

I can't tell if it's made from people or not

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

I had GI issues that forced me to live off protein shakes like soylent for months. You still poop, but it turns into more of a Nutella spread.

Vex_Detrause,

Why would you compare it with Nutella! I'll forever remember @Ghostalmedia poop when I eat Nutella.

specks, (edited )

Yeah, after a few days on a Soylent diet, should enter reduced pooping mode. Since people only poop every few days I believe.

And for the record, you don't have to drink a while bottle for a meal. Can nurse a single bottle throughout the day.

Jrussell,

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

andrr_464,

frrrrrr

lavendedreams,

This is the weirdest fucking thing I’ve seen on the Internet in a long time.

Spore,

If it’s only for 3 days you need nothing unless you get diarrhea.

koavf,

I have fasted for three straight days on many occasions and it was pretty easy for me. Drinking zero-calorie beverages (coffee, tea, water) should be fine. This is not professional medical advice and definitely do not do this if you are an alcoholic, diabetic, or pregnant. Once you break the fast, do so with moderation.

cumcum69,

coffee makes a lot of people poop more

ungoogleable,

They’re not trying to fast. Sugary drinks (juice, non caffeinated soda, Gatorade, Pedialyte) are probably a good idea, plus calorie dense foods like energy bars.

smashboy,

Commemorative comment for the start of Lemmy lore.

wildchandelure,

Truly an amazing post that needs a follow-up. We wait eagerly for the results of this journey. You crazy motherfucker lmfao

sarchar,

Fast. Seriously. Drink just enough water to stay hydrated. Avoid diuretics like coffee and alcohol.

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