I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Dazed_Confused, (edited )
@Dazed_Confused@lemmy.world avatar

This could be a setting in a Stephen King novel. They usually don't end well.

I am really curious about the situation, but all I've to say is be safe and update us.

k_o_t, (edited )
@k_o_t@lemmy.ml avatar

easy, just go on a fast (eat nothing, can drink water and zero cal energy drinks) and/or very low cal keto (avocados), take vitamin and electrolyte supplements

Sentrovasi,

All the best; I did something like this before, although not on purpose, eating light and low fiber. When I finally pooped my poop had layers. Please don't make a habit out of it.

Pellotto,

I was here for it.

Pili,

I'm so happy I can be a part of this historical moment.

Xaxetrov,

I was there.

Bayblade,

Would love an update haha

jballs,
@jballs@sh.itjust.works avatar

Update: haven't pooped yet

half_built_pyramids,

I was here for the poop thing

Don't eat chipotle

voluntaryexilecat,

May I suggest to get a foldable potty instead? They are super light and the size of an original Gameboy when folded. Combined with plastic bags and silicapowder (do not eat) it will help you stay healthy instead of dehydrated and constipated. If amazon is not fast enough, check the nearest baby mart. If you are just shy, there are also foldable privacy shields (camping section) available to let you do your business with privacy.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Toilets are readily available where I'm going; I can't do it for... other reasons..

Juliie,

Avoid fiber like a plague, already

So no to popular fruits and vegetables, no carrots, beets, strawberry, apples

Hmm but also it would be good to actually poop last day before hike so maybe take some pills for that day before for a huge splasshh bbbrrrr

When you return expect to give birth to a shitman

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I haven't eaten fibre for a while to prepare for this. I don't mind severe constipation but i just need to get through those 3 days without pooping. Also not going on a hike idk why everyone is assuming that. Anyways, thanks.

Wander,
@Wander@yiffit.net avatar

Do you need energy? So there's something called the pineapple diet (please ask your doctor first) where you eat pineapple for three days to lose weight. Biggest problem here is the spam, so I guess you'd have to use some sort of food that can be rehydrated like soylent.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm not allowed to eat pineapple for medical reasons 😅. Thanks for replying though.

rlaimondas,

@mizu6079 Vinegar

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

It's gonna be my main food and I can only carry a cinch bag so I don't think it would be a good idea use up space for a liquid...

Jackolantern,

This is one of those threads that’s going go be legendary is it? Like the eating their own foot on early Reddit

MaybeItWorks,

I’m honestly pretty sure I’ve read this on reddit and it’s a repost. Trying to remember which sub I read it on. This is not the first time in the past few weeks that I’ve read a person mysteriously trying to avoid pooping for a few days.

That’s a weird early Lemmy comment on my part.

SmokesForBreakfast,

Poop is always popular. Poop is universal. Poop is fun. We all poop. Poop is guaranteed engagement. While I don’t mind a poop post here and there, I sure hope we won’t bring all of those obviously fake posts from Reddit over here.

Mortalsub,

This is God-tier Meme master content, well done OP

leraje,
@leraje@lemmy.ml avatar

Are you being human trafficked?

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