I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

LollerCorleone,
@LollerCorleone@kbin.social avatar

This post is going straight to the fediverse hall of fame!

HorrorSpirit,
@HorrorSpirit@lemmy.ml avatar

This is going to become a historical post. I don’t have any advice as i have never been in such a predicament myself but i wish you best of luck and no shit!

Padit,

Use anti diarrhea medication, for example Loperamide, it's available in every normal pharmacy (found it in France and Germany, no idea where you are). It will basically numb all your muscles in your gut and it will become impossible to poop.

For three days that should be fine, but you should reduce your food volume a bit.

This is unhealthy and stupid!!! But it works and is not crazy dangerous for your body.

P.S.:I guess you should just overcome your social fears and poop like a normal person.

Gabtraf,

Is there a healthy way to not shit for 3 days by force?

tourist,
@tourist@lemmy.world avatar

This is unhealthy and stupid!!

So long as we're giving this kind of advice, I don't know why we're stopping at loperamide

OP, heroin and other psychotropic opioids do the exact same thing. They're much cheaper and more fun.

You could also superglue your anus shut. Fun imho but many will disagree

mdwhite999,

I love the escalation in this comment

Yadaran,

My man went all in haha

DuckMaster17,
@DuckMaster17@lemmy.world avatar

Nothing screams comedy quite like a man refusing to shit for three days.

j4k3,
@j4k3@lemmy.world avatar

Or failing

zelifcam,
@zelifcam@lemmy.world avatar

stop asking

Proceeds to then write a detailed timeline of the events that will occur. Either this is a joke or someone needs to be talked too by an adult and explained how the human body works.

Hey OP! Food In == Food Out

There’s no way around it.

sussy_gussy,

You can hold it in for a while and if you eat less food but with more energy per volume, you can eat less -> poop less and still get enough energy.

PolandIsAStateOfMind,
@PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmy.ml avatar

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

JesusTheCarpenter,

That is not overtime, it is during normal working hours.

Kouran,

I was here when this post happened.

Aldo,

History in the making, baby!

Limelight3019,

I'm proud to make this comment my first ever interaction (post, comment, or vote) on Lemmy.

eyy,

No shit! Good that you're participating, don't let that account go to waste.

Limelight3019,

No shit!

LOL!

OmegaZX,

Lemmy is good just because of this post

Ghona76,

Everything about this post is weird and hilarious.

Biff,
@Biff@lemmy.world avatar

This is like some bizzaro 90's sitcom. "Quick, I need your help to not poop for 3 days! No time to explain!"

bec,
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

I’m just glad I’m here to witness this lol

Anyways, wouldn’t a liquid meal replacement do the trick? Something like Huel?

unhearing,

Doesn't huel have lots of fibers that will be excreted?

bec,
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

Just checked and it says it has 7g fiber per serving. Don’t know if it’s too much, honestly. Jusy thought that since it’s liquid it would be making less waste!

Kinga,

Huel is quite infamous for having lots of fiber and causing absolute monster shits before you get used to it. Like it really makes you go every few hours on top of the shits being just extra nasty

bec, (edited )
@bec@lemmy.ml avatar

Didn’t know lol as I said I assumed that a liquid diet would help, guess I was very wrong lol

edit: maybe there are other similar meal replacements that have not as much fiber? If that’s the only downside. I suggested Huel because I don’t know of any other

Truth is, I challenged OP to this poopless challenge and I was trying to undermine their effort, but don’t snitch on me

AlmightySnoo,
@AlmightySnoo@lemmy.world avatar

Just keep pushing it back inside when it tries to come out.

nx2,

Premium comment.

moreeni,

Why push it? You can just glue your ass, think smarter, not harder

gsa32,

I was here

Gradually_Adjusting,
@Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world avatar

We've all had our in-jokes, but holding-it-in-jokes? That's deucedly clever.

eyy,

You have some real talent there, don't let it go to waste.

_haha_oh_wow_,
@_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works avatar

Not to worry, they already started a movement.

briongloid,
@briongloid@aussie.zone avatar

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

bkmps3,

This. I’m ex-military. Our ration packs came with these highly processed cans of cheese. I’d go 4-5 days without doing a shit.

Was never a good time after though

Velkas,

Ugh, I'd die. Dairy allergy means I'd shit my brains out

assa123,
@assa123@lemmy.world avatar

That would be counterproductive xD

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

hot hot hot hot hooooooooot

bilb,
@bilb@lem.monster avatar

I always hear MREs cause days-long constipation, but they probably aren't in the "easy to find" category.

Wander,
@Wander@yiffit.net avatar

I did not know that. I might want to consider eating more cheese just to have more time :P

ch00f,

NASA used steak and eggs https://www.tastingtable.com/955518/why-steak-and-eggs-was-the-choice-breakfast-for-astronauts/

Diskolikewhoa,

Was going to say this too. Especially processed cheese, that'll bind up your insides tighter than a sub in a vacuum bed.

zik,

Let's hope he's not lactose intolerant

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

What type of cheese?

Mothra,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

Drier, hard cheese gives better results. If you want to not poop you cut out all fibre (anything vegetable). No coffee, no sauces/ oils. Eat less

AndyGHK,

“Hon hon hon, eet seems le poupeaux, she has surrendered!!”

dakerDraws,
@dakerDraws@pawb.social avatar

Does that work for (a good portion of the population) who are lactose intolerant?

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