I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Hyggyldy,

Such an oddly terrifying post.

cyshield,

That post made me so sad. Because I know I will never find out why you need this ☹️

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I mean... If we know each other irl but can't tell because if internet anonymity you might already know..

sarsaparilyptus,

GOMAD - Gallon Of Milk A Day

Can't promise you won't have severe diarrhea

ArugulaZ,
@ArugulaZ@kbin.social avatar

Uh, are you David Blaine? Do you plan on burying yourself in a coffin for three days?

victron,
@victron@kbin.social avatar

Please post again after your ordeal, OP.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I won't be able to come online during or right after the three-day period but if i remember it afterwards I'll update the post with an edit

TheRecycledMoth,

“If you remember”

Do you do things like this often enough that you forget which ones you posted about?

TheShane,

This was my reaction!

bigkahuna1986,

I’ve got a friend with ADHD and forgetting to update is something he would totally do.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

!remindme 2 wee -- aw fuck now I'm sad

literallyacat,
@literallyacat@kbin.social avatar

....You're gonna try to ship yourself to Timbuktu, aren't you.

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

You can poop in a mail van. Someone might just receive a delivery they didn’t ask for

JWBananas,
@JWBananas@kbin.social avatar

Good luck winning that car!

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

If i was gonna be on a Mr Beast video i would've probably spent some money on an actual specialist

JWBananas,
@JWBananas@kbin.social avatar

I have no idea what you're talking about

airportline,
@airportline@lemmy.world avatar

Famous YouTube star and Satan worshiper.

demvoter,
@demvoter@kbin.social avatar

I was here for this post that will go down in Fediverse history.

iRyu,

It'll be a year and someone will ask "What is the story about the guy who couldn't poop for 3 days"

We'll sit down and let me tell you a story, lad

StarLuigi,
@StarLuigi@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Pretty sure I already saw this reposted on Reddit (not sure, my reddit client and my Lemmy client look too similar so I keep mixing them up!!)

BleakBluets,
@BleakBluets@lemmy.world avatar

I'll know the Fediverse is mainstream when I inevitably see this post and comments in a top 10 list or being read by an AI voice and posted to a video sharing site as part of an automated content farm.

Harlan_Cloverseed,
@Harlan_Cloverseed@kbin.social avatar

See you in other threads referencing this happening!

Grosshirn,

Yep. Me too. This kind of content was... unexpected

sputtersalt,
@sputtersalt@lemmy.world avatar

i'm so confused. what do you need all of this for. why are you being so secretive. what could possibly be this dramatic

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I swear I would've told yall if I could..

scrof,
@scrof@lemmy.world avatar

Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

The thing is... I can't poop at all. Bricks won't work either.

TheShane,

Vitamins, electrolyte drinks, maybe pudding cups that won't upset your stomach...

scrof,
@scrof@lemmy.world avatar

Then don't pack food, get some vitamins, you won't die. It's physically impossible I think not to poop if you eat anything at all and I wouldn't recommend forcing a constipation as it can cause you more harm than it's worth.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

This is kind of a group thing and I'm the only one not allowed to poop for personal reasons. They'll be expecting me to eat food that's at least somewhat normal.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

damn dude, how many guys are you going with 👀

MudSkipperKisser,

Well this got even more interesting

MudSkipperKisser,

Well this got even more interesting

oxideSeven,
@oxideSeven@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Dude. At this point, just explain. No one knows you on here. This is ridiculous.

Trebach,

The canned tuna at the store here is packed in salt water so I have to drain it before eating.

TheShane,

Like a Wombat!

Chocrates,

Just don't eat and mainline kaopectate?

mcpheeandme,

OP could get constipated by doing a bunch of opioids. Obviously not recommended.

socsa,

OP, please do not rape.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

What does that have to do with my question...

swancheez,
@swancheez@lemmy.world avatar

Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.

Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I can tell you about the results but not why I'm doing this. Sorry!

tj111,

Just buy poo-pourri and take a poo my guy. N one will know.

tinwhiskers,
@tinwhiskers@kbin.social avatar

If you make it to wherever you're going, please let us know the story!

StankFlipper,

Hardtack? They have tons of recipes online and it’s basically super dense, dry, cracker/bread you have to add water to. It’ll fill you up, it’s very compact, and you can make it out of household ingredients. Best of luck to you!

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