I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

tebro,

I was concerned of the amount of users not being enough to generate content, but so far I have been proven wrong. And the quality of the content is much better. At least for now.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Huh?

freeman,

Its an entertaining post and thread

adj16,

They’re ribbing you a little bit for making such a weird post. They were worried that fewer users on Lemmy would mean less interesting and unique posts, but here you are, making the most unusual content most of us have seen all day (or week).

someguy3,

The opposite of a shitpost.

adj16,

😆 nice one

tebro,

That wasn’t actually it 😂 I was replying to some other post and after the fact realized that something has gone weird as I suddenly saw this post title up top. Seems my comment deletion didn't quite take

adj16,

Oh lmao well it ended up being the perfect snarky response to such a wild post so just roll with it I guess!

imaqtpie,
@imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works avatar

Lmao I've seen this happen a few times before and I knew it would end up being hilarious at some point.

Congrats, you just got a lucky little bit of Lemmy history.

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/273f293b-72b7-4ed6-a390-e4c72cb04061.webp

codRL,

I read about that happening to someone else earlier.

Your comment is still kinda perfect for this post though, haha!

Wander,
@Wander@yiffit.net avatar

I've actually gotten really good replies over a communities like !selfhosted

RomanRoy,
@RomanRoy@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, it really makes sense that self hosted communities grow strong in Lemmy, since it is self hosted.

That's why I'm pissed at the suckers at homelab

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Honestly /r/homelab is such a useless sub anyways. It's like /r/guitarpedals. Posts of the new gear people have bought, but have no clue how to use.

HobbitFoot,

This whole set of comments, no shit.

dipbeneaththelasers,

Mission accomplished

atwerp,

no shit

yes, that's the whole point, didn't you read the post?

livus,
@livus@kbin.social avatar

Literally. That is the objective.

jaeposten,
@jaeposten@midwest.social avatar

Sunflower seeds

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks a lot. I'm not sure I can easily find them where I am right now but I'll try.

Edit: Wait... don't sunflower seeds contain fibres? Shouldn't that make it harder to hold poop in?

snipe_at,
@snipe_at@lemmy.world avatar

i think the goal would be to eat the seed in the middle and not the husk

Kettlepants,

It won't be poop, it'll mostly be butter-style spread if that's all you're consuming. Wrapped up in a cellulose husk. Prepackaged for your convenience.

briongloid,
@briongloid@aussie.zone avatar

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

bkmps3,

This. I’m ex-military. Our ration packs came with these highly processed cans of cheese. I’d go 4-5 days without doing a shit.

Was never a good time after though

Velkas,

Ugh, I'd die. Dairy allergy means I'd shit my brains out

assa123,
@assa123@lemmy.world avatar

That would be counterproductive xD

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

hot hot hot hot hooooooooot

bilb,
@bilb@lem.monster avatar

I always hear MREs cause days-long constipation, but they probably aren't in the "easy to find" category.

Wander,
@Wander@yiffit.net avatar

I did not know that. I might want to consider eating more cheese just to have more time :P

ch00f,

NASA used steak and eggs https://www.tastingtable.com/955518/why-steak-and-eggs-was-the-choice-breakfast-for-astronauts/

Diskolikewhoa,

Was going to say this too. Especially processed cheese, that'll bind up your insides tighter than a sub in a vacuum bed.

zik,

Let's hope he's not lactose intolerant

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

What type of cheese?

Mothra,
@Mothra@mander.xyz avatar

Drier, hard cheese gives better results. If you want to not poop you cut out all fibre (anything vegetable). No coffee, no sauces/ oils. Eat less

AndyGHK,

“Hon hon hon, eet seems le poupeaux, she has surrendered!!”

dakerDraws,
@dakerDraws@pawb.social avatar

Does that work for (a good portion of the population) who are lactose intolerant?

rlaimondas,

@mizu6079 Vinegar

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

It's gonna be my main food and I can only carry a cinch bag so I don't think it would be a good idea use up space for a liquid...

MajorMajormajormajor,

1 word: pancakes. Nature's cork.

assclapcalamity,

okeydokey for the weirdo who doesn't shit from eating flour, eggs and milk. maybe you should drink more water?

unomas,

pancakes. Nature’s cork.

Nobody's ever said that before.

MajorMajormajormajor,

You obviously haven't rolled a pancake up into a cylinder and give it the tappy tap up the ol' poop chute eh? You're missing out.

homesnatch,

Intense scribbling.. With or without the maple syrup?

MajorMajormajormajor,

Without, do you want ants? That is how you get ants.

Wander,
@Wander@yiffit.net avatar

Do you need energy? So there's something called the pineapple diet (please ask your doctor first) where you eat pineapple for three days to lose weight. Biggest problem here is the spam, so I guess you'd have to use some sort of food that can be rehydrated like soylent.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm not allowed to eat pineapple for medical reasons 😅. Thanks for replying though.

paddythegeek,

I’d you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.

TheMightyCanuck,
@TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works avatar

Meat sweats lmao

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks a lot. It should be easy to find food like that where I'm going.

SirShanova,

At a guess, are you going to Philmont? Pack in, pack out your human waste?

danc4498,

Why do you need this?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'm sorry but i really can't say that here

withdrawn,

Just stay away from expensive submersible trips.

jzefbeio54,

underrated comment

denemdenem,

As far as I know the last one went to shit real fast.

assa123,
@assa123@lemmy.world avatar

keep safe, I really hope you're not being used as a drug mule (or forcing someone to be one).

NewNewAccount,

Dude’s going to jail and has poop anxiety.

bernieecclestoned,

Can you take a packed lunch to jail?

It's no picnic! Lol

lunarshot,
@lunarshot@lemmy.world avatar

bro, did Jurassic Park teach us nothing? when you gotta go, you gotta go!

sunaurus,
@sunaurus@lemm.ee avatar

What I would do in this situation would be a 4-day fast. It's not for everybody, but you might want to at least consider it, because it's definitely doable, and some people even claim it's healthy (disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, don't take medical advice from random people on the internet).

To prepare, I would suggest switching to OMAD (one meal a day - effectively you will be fasting 23h every day) up until the trip. OMAD will help your body adjust to long periods of not eating. To be successful with OMAD, you need to ensure that your single meal will cover your daily calorie and nutrient needs. There's a bunch of resources about it online if you search.

Eat your last meal 48h before the trip - this will give you a chance to empty your bowels before you leave. Every day, make sure you drink enough electrolytes + take multivitamins. On the final day of your trip, it should be safe to have a SMALL meal (do not overdo it, you can hurt yourself by eating too much after a fast) - it should take your body over a full day before you'll need to poop.

How long do you have to prepare? Personally, when I first started doing OMAD, it took me over a month before my body became adjusted to fasting. But now, it just feels completely natural.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I have only two days to prepare. I'll also have to walk around a lot during those three days so I don't think I'll be able to survive with only one meal.

Badass_panda,

If you need to walk around a lot, it'll be tougher to do it on am empty stomach, but not impossible. You have plenty of energy stores to last 3 days unless you're significantly underweight to start with.

You will not be able to eat your daily allowance of calories for three days and not need to poop during that time. It's just not a thing that's going to happen for you.

If you are determined to eat and not poop, eat protein bars, and take an anti diahrreal (e.g., Imodium). You won't poop, but day 4-5 will be awful.

Ropianos,

I'm not sure what "walk around a lot" means exactly but I've interpreted it as hiking and I'm fairly certain that you will have a very bad time when hiking for three days without ANY food.

And why do you think that you won't be able to consume enough calories without food? All kinds of drinks should have enough energy to sustain you, e.g. soft drinks, especially if you sweat and therefore drink more than 2l a day. In the worst case you can also just eat sugar.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I'll walk to a certain place... Take a train to place 2... on and on until I return to my current location for a few days and can finally poop again before starting on the same journey again (but i can poop this time).

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I don't mind severe constipation as long as i don't have to poop for those three days. Thanks a lot.

patchw3rk,
@patchw3rk@kbin.social avatar

I added your response to https://kbin.com/m/bestof and/or @bestof

BiaThemis,
@BiaThemis@kbin.social avatar

Just a heads up, you are linking the wrong URL. It should be https://kbin.social/m/bestof instead of .com

Kettlepants,

Okay, why don't you need this?

WhoRoger,
@WhoRoger@lemmy.world avatar

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks. I'll try to find some food like that tomorrow. I have only 3 days to prepare.

WhoRoger,
@WhoRoger@lemmy.world avatar

For real, ask on some aviation community or Reddit. You'll find real pilots with very specific experience.

My guess would still be beef jerky, plus it's light and doesn't spoil. Also I'd start asap, so you can still get empty before the "trip" and not have much inside left.

TheShane,

Reddit?

I'd that like Digg or Tumblr? Doesn't ring a bell...

Jimi_Hotsauce,

Reddit? damn near took it out for a nice dinner!

vegivamp,
@vegivamp@feddit.nl avatar

There is something called low-residue diet, often needed before or after certain medical procedures. You might Google information on that.

Parsecale,
@Parsecale@kbin.social avatar

This person is for sure going to pack themselves onto a pallet for cheap LTL interstate transport or possibly descending to the Titanic in a questionable craft.

livus,
@livus@kbin.social avatar

Downthread they say they will also do a lot of walking. It does sound like some sort of... "informal migration" scheme.

Adama,

For anybody doing this seriously be careful. High salt/protein and low water sounds like a recipe for all kinds of issues.

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

livus,
@livus@kbin.social avatar

They should really drink oral rehydration salts instead of plain water.

Trebach,

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

And before that, you lose your balance, are vomiting and have diarrhea after you eat/drink something, and have seizures. Then your kidneys shut down.

The week in the hospital on IV fluids and dialysis recovering was not pleasant.

BasicWhiteGirl, (edited )
@BasicWhiteGirl@kbin.social avatar

I just watched a movie(bad thriller) about hikers. They popped some pill before they started to climb to stop them from pooping. Wonder what it was and if pilots also take something besides just diet.

1st,

Probably Imodium. Most hikers keep it in their pack in case they get gerardia

benignintervention,

I was incapacitated by the shits in Toronto and Imodium locked that shit down

AkioDAccolade,

I wish Imodium worked on what I have right now. Been dumping straight liquid into the can every 25-30 mins for 7 days. I'm dying over here.

Doc says either norovirus or ecoli, Imodium does not touch it.

bigkahuna1986,

I ate some undercooked turkey and dumped for 2 days and just wanted to die at the end. 7 days seems unimaginable.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

7 days is a lot.
Try and stay hydrated, don't pass out, get well.

Quereller,
@Quereller@kbin.social avatar

Cholera

apis,
@apis@kbin.social avatar

If it is that bad then probably better out than in, but you may need to be on a drip to avoid dangerous dehydration, so keep your doctor updated. Hope you recover soon!

assclapcalamity,

*giardia

sectorfour,
@sectorfour@kbin.social avatar

*giardiniera

sethboy66,

*Ghirardelli

WheresYourShoe,

Thank you. I knew it was wrong, but it broke my brain and I couldn't think of the correct word, lol.

MinFapper,

Soylent?

Should be available at most grocery stores

PastaTrees,
@PastaTrees@lemmy.world avatar

I can't tell if it's made from people or not

Ghostalmedia,
@Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world avatar

I had GI issues that forced me to live off protein shakes like soylent for months. You still poop, but it turns into more of a Nutella spread.

Vex_Detrause,

Why would you compare it with Nutella! I'll forever remember @Ghostalmedia poop when I eat Nutella.

specks, (edited )

Yeah, after a few days on a Soylent diet, should enter reduced pooping mode. Since people only poop every few days I believe.

And for the record, you don't have to drink a while bottle for a meal. Can nurse a single bottle throughout the day.

snipe_at,
@snipe_at@lemmy.world avatar

hey i saw that you only have a few days, you should go ahead and reduce your food intake today

Boozilla,
@Boozilla@lemmy.world avatar

Hard boiled eggs. Astronauts love them because they are almost completely absorbed and pooping in space is a hassle.

bernieecclestoned,

TIL

CoolBeance,
@CoolBeance@lemmy.world avatar

Oh god. I never thought I would imagine a "floater" as anything more than poop in a pool

Badass_panda,

Realistically, if you eat anything, you'll poop. Tail down your calorie intake to ~1000 calories at day -7, to -500 on days -6 and -5, then to 0 for days -4 through -1. Start eating again on day zero.

You won't have to poop during that time. Make sure to drink water, and i would add electrolytes to ensure you don't get any type of heart arrhythmia (unlikely on a fast this short, but intelligent anyway).

I don't know why you need to do this, but good luck. I've done week long fasts before and they're not too hard after the first couple of days. Ironically, eating well before the start makes it MUCH harder (you'd think it'd tide you over, but it just makes your body expect food) ... Hence, the tailing down over a couple days.

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