I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

tebro,

I was concerned of the amount of users not being enough to generate content, but so far I have been proven wrong. And the quality of the content is much better. At least for now.

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Huh?

freeman,

Its an entertaining post and thread

adj16,

They’re ribbing you a little bit for making such a weird post. They were worried that fewer users on Lemmy would mean less interesting and unique posts, but here you are, making the most unusual content most of us have seen all day (or week).

someguy3,

The opposite of a shitpost.

adj16,

😆 nice one

tebro,

That wasn’t actually it 😂 I was replying to some other post and after the fact realized that something has gone weird as I suddenly saw this post title up top. Seems my comment deletion didn't quite take

adj16,

Oh lmao well it ended up being the perfect snarky response to such a wild post so just roll with it I guess!

imaqtpie,
@imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works avatar

Lmao I've seen this happen a few times before and I knew it would end up being hilarious at some point.

Congrats, you just got a lucky little bit of Lemmy history.

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/273f293b-72b7-4ed6-a390-e4c72cb04061.webp

codRL,

I read about that happening to someone else earlier.

Your comment is still kinda perfect for this post though, haha!

Wander,
@Wander@yiffit.net avatar

I've actually gotten really good replies over a communities like !selfhosted

RomanRoy,
@RomanRoy@lemmy.world avatar

I mean, it really makes sense that self hosted communities grow strong in Lemmy, since it is self hosted.

That's why I'm pissed at the suckers at homelab

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Honestly /r/homelab is such a useless sub anyways. It's like /r/guitarpedals. Posts of the new gear people have bought, but have no clue how to use.

HobbitFoot,

This whole set of comments, no shit.

dipbeneaththelasers,

Mission accomplished

atwerp,

no shit

yes, that's the whole point, didn't you read the post?

livus,
@livus@kbin.social avatar

Literally. That is the objective.

GratefullyGodless,
@GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world avatar

I was worried that lemmy wouldn't reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

HerrLewakaas,
@HerrLewakaas@lemmy.world avatar

This is the perfect comment, I laughed so hard

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

Linebeck,

lmaooooo

Leafimo,

the real LPT is always in the comments

JesusTheCarpenter,

This guy kinks

riktor,
@riktor@kbin.social avatar

This is the way

DoucheAsaurus,
@DoucheAsaurus@kbin.social avatar

while you're out at your fuck-tent

I'm dead holy shit 🤣

Very_Bad_Janet,

eat like a twink!

Is this why they call it the BRAT diet?

manifex,

Gimping: A Primer

cly,

In 10 years, people are going to say "I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post"

artaban,

there is no way this will be happen

BOB_DROP_TABLES,

This sounds like the beginning of great tifu post

TheShane,

I know I will. Now...

bionicjoey,

This could be our Jolly Rancher

Kyle,

Please refresh me on the jolly rancher story.

oshitwaddup,
@oshitwaddup@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz avatar

If you google it you will find it, but you've been warned

erusuoyera,

No. Trust me, it's in your best interests.

goforliftoff,

I just hope OP doesn't break both arms while they're out doing... whatever it is they're going to be doing.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

After the self induced constipation, they'll need the poop knife for sure.

Canic,

Either that, or it’ll turn into a poop sword

Guy_Fieris_Hair,

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

iturnedintoanewt,

Aw crap we are going to need silly lemmy awards soon.

MargotRobbie,
@MargotRobbie@lemmy.world avatar

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/38056362-0f6c-49e2-bc4a-8477eaa8edf2.jpeg

whyNotSquirrel,
@whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works avatar

you definitely have something here and should get in touch with the devs !

imaqtpie,
@imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works avatar

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/7ce10417-a187-4fc8-9a77-14dd7b2b9e6d.png

dom,

This hit me in the nostalgia

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

Please keep the awards this way

CookieMonster,
@CookieMonster@lemmy.world avatar

It all went downhill when they introduced actual silver. Probably earlier, but that's when the monetization spam started.

yardy_sardley,

OP doesn't want his crush knowing that he poops. Simple as.

bartlebee,

https://infosec.pub/pictrs/image/f634e684-b824-473d-b403-a9a015f55ca1.jpeg``

mizu6079,
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

I've replied to quite a few people and I'm going to bed now.

I'll edit the posts with updates when my poopless journey ends. Either when the three-day poopless period is over (28th June) or when the whole thing is over (30 June/1 July).

Wish me luck.

4am,
@4am@lemmy.world avatar

Remember: No vid, no did

(but seriously good luck and please don't hurt/injure yourself my friend. Godspeed!)

Feo,

Godspeed op. May your cheeks remain pristine.

Tagger,

Do we have remind me set up yet?

heartlessevil,

This is the first post on lemmy I've bookmarked, congrats

Vex_Detrause,

Please don't overthink it. You might get more urge to go when your trying not to poop. You got this! Please update us.

Mugmoor,
@Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Shine on, you crazy diamond.

atwerp,

OP, you misunderstand the "no shitposts on lemmy" guideline, that's not what it means

makingStuffForFun,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

Boom tish! Lovely work

Bye,

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

thesilencenoise,

If I could give this comment an award, I would.

FleaCatcher,

You can say "nice dick" you know, it counts.

tfpc,

Nice cock bro.

highduc,

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

flambonkscious,

With photos, preferably...

demonmariner,
@demonmariner@lemmy.one avatar

Or blow up in someone's face.

Skooshjones,
@Skooshjones@vlemmy.net avatar

I'm here too, this feels like the beginning of a Lemmy legend :)

Good luck and stay safe!

SubArcticTundra,
@SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml avatar

3 days without pooping are perfectly doable. I’ve done it before when I was younger

eyy, (edited )

I don't have anything to add, I'm just planting my flag here so I can say I was here at the beginnings of lemmylore.

Here, have a cat picture as an offering:

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0f514a9d-58ee-4397-89ea-39be645fb45f.png

wizard_cat,
@wizard_cat@kbin.social avatar

Same, this thread is legendary

PupBiru,
@PupBiru@kbin.social avatar

… omg “stickers” 😍

qjkxbmwvz,

I was there, Gandalf.gif

hungryphrog,

I was here 𓆏

wampastompa,
@wampastompa@social.fossware.space avatar

me too ⛳️

kraiden,

I wuz heer

theolodger,

The cat tax has been paid.

jystfact,

Are you, by any chance in a submarine?

MissJinx,
@MissJinx@lemmy.world avatar

Disasters come in threes. One sub down, better wait until the next 2 explode too

badgerific,

There's no advice that's going to be effective in stopping poop in those circumstances...

yarr,
@yarr@lemmy.fmhy.ml avatar

Taking bets:

  • Participating in a competitive event where bathroom breaks are minimal or non-existent, such as a long-distance, multi-day gaming or eSports tournament.
  • Attending a religious or spiritual retreat where fasting or avoiding certain bodily functions is part of the practices or rituals.
  • Engaging in a survival challenge or a bet where the person has to limit food intake and avoid defecating for a certain period of time.
  • Undergoing a specific medical procedure or test that requires limiting food intake and avoiding bowel movements for a few days.
  • Participating in a scientific experiment or study where they have to control their diet and bowel movements.
  • Partaking in a performance art piece or protest where he's limiting his bodily functions as part of the statement.
  • Attending an event (like a music festival or convention) where bathroom facilities are notoriously unclean or inconvenient, and they want to avoid using them as much as possible.
  • Embarking on a long journey where bathroom facilities may not be readily available or convenient, such as a cross-country road trip or sailing expedition.
  • Participating in a reality TV show or film production where bathroom breaks are limited or inconvenient.
  • Engaging in a personal challenge or self-imposed discipline practice related to endurance or minimalism.
lowleveldata,
  • Just doing it for the sake of it because life is short

I'm betting on this one

666dollarfootlong,

My guess: Airsoft/paintball whatever MilSim operation.

Edit: OP is a sniper in said operation. Perhaps re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden?

Darorad,

I don't see bottoming on that list

mizu6079, (edited )
@mizu6079@lemmy.world avatar

Okay I'll give in a tiny bit only because this barely narrows it down: one of them is ridiculously close to what is actually the case. Like, I'm actually doing the thing you mentioned in the point, just your reasoning is wrong.

P.S.: The actual reasoning is borderline impossible for anyone to guess so just stop trying guys.

rackmountrambo,

You can poop in the shipping container dude, what are the people shoulder to shoulder to you going to do? Leave?

LufyCZ,

Just for readability, these are the options with reasoning:

  • Attending an event (festivalor convention)
  • Long journey, such as a cross-country trip (probably this one, as OP mentioned walking+travelling by train)
  • Reality TV Show / film
Sleo,

He’s probably out on the Hajj, they travel to some of the key points by train. The bathroom facilities are not ideal and that’s why he is asking for ways to trim down his poop times.

LufyCZ,

But he said that he’d make the whole trip twice and that he’d be able to poop the second time

Sleo,

As part of the hajj, the entire community travels to various points in and around the city. One of the points that’s only for a few days is in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside the official boundaries of the city of Makkah. When they are in the tent (it’s a fancy tent, air conditioned but with zero privacy with 20 other guys), the bathrooms there are communal, which in turn are not the cleanest in the world. Most of them are the eastern squatty potty style. Let’s just say not going there for a poop seems very tempting. The counter to it is, most of the food there is free, and it is really good… So it’s a very delicate balance to say the least.

This is all speculation on my part, given the timing of it. For all we know it could be some weird kinky camping thing the guy is into!

firipu,

Is it a sex thing? Please don't let it be a sex thing.

redonyo,

So much of what we do is horrible now a days. It would be nice if it was just a sex thing

AgentOrangesicle,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

Damn, I thought you were just an Amazon employee.

Butane,
@Butane@lemmy.world avatar

You are donating your poop for fecal implants.

CoolBeance,
@CoolBeance@lemmy.world avatar

You're going to a Burning Man-style event and you don't want to poop on June 25th because it's Anne Frank's birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to "Anne Frank" your poop for three days

eyy,

undefined> You’re going to a Burning Man-style event and you don’t want to poop on June 25th because it’s Anne Frank’s birthday and in your pursuit to become the true Hide & Seek Champion you think it would be best/hilarious to “Anne Frank” your poop for three days

Congratulations, you're the first person in the world to use that sentence.

L3s, (edited )
@L3s@lemmy.world avatar

One of those scenarios + poop shy around S/O, S/O family, or friends is my guess.

Edit: also, cheese, lots of cheese.

Edit2: is this the new "found a safe"?

JesusTheCarpenter,

Why would he not want to say the reason though? If that was the case, the OP could just say he is a shy pooper. Instead we now suspect that this is some kind of orgy with a fetish.

LufyCZ,

They said that facilities would be everywhere "as normal".

Also, they said they'd be taking travelling, the same route twice, first time around they can't poop, second time they can.

L3s,
@L3s@lemmy.world avatar

Not sure how this goes against my theory?

whyNotSquirrel,
@whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works avatar

yeah, other people could move after day 3, allowing them to fume the tent

StoicLime,
@StoicLime@lemmy.world avatar

We finally got shitposting on Lemmy, lessfgo!

eyy,

shitposting

C'mon read the whole thing man, its a no-shit post.

taladar,

No shit, Sherlock.

OtakuAltair,
@OtakuAltair@lemmy.world avatar

I don't know the answer, but now I can say I was here during the infamous 'Poop post' on Lemmy 10 years from now.

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